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Yeah been there done that! Very disappointing when they say yes but they really mean no. I made the mistake of asking a couple of girls out over the phone because I was too nervous to do it in person and this was exactly the response I got. At first I was pretty excited, until I realized what they really meant to say but were afraid of hurting my feelings or whatever
Well learning to listen to voice inflection and especially reading body language will keep the dogs of rejection away. Once I learned to decipher the whole package of verbal and non verbal cues I never have had any further problems.
And what I look for too is some enthusiasm and vibrancy. I dated too many cold, dead fishes in the past. Aint doin that anymore. Feels like you constantly have to perform CPR on them to keep them alive.
Yea that's what I'm trying to do right now is move on. Like I said though it's tough when she acts like everything is normal and talks to me like nothing ever happened. I can't just sit at the table and ignore her when we're at school. That's what I'm trying to do now is distance myself from her while still being civil. I may have used "friends" a little too loose in my first post. I know I can't be friends with this girl. All I have to do is make it to May 2011 and I'll be done with her.
I assume you are younger than 25. One thing besides boundaries you will also need to learn is how to compartmentalize your life.
Business is business. Personal is personal. Business in this case equals school. Your relationship with this gal at school should be business oriented, polite but not personal. Keep that in mind when you talk to her.
What you do outside of school is another thing and that is your personal or private life.
I made the mistake after college of dating women that I worked with and when it all goes off the rails you have everyone knowing your business and you have to see them all the time. What I learned was IF i was going to date someone from work I needed to keep all that outside the workplace as much as possible. And overall it's not the best thing to do anyways.
I think you are taking the view that she is the only girl in the world. I've been there and know the feeling, but especially now it's been made clear it aint happening, time to move on and form new relationships elsewhere. The cookie has already crumbled and you aren't putting the pieces back together.
When a relationship goes south and people talk about now being friends, all that is a nice letdown for everyone saying no malice is born out of the break up. Women are especially bad at that because they don't want a guy to be "angry". It's their natural reaction to say "lets be friends". No one really means it though and it's one of those little white lies.
I already know everything that everyone has said on here about moving on and about the relationship not going to happen. That's all stuff that I have already thought about. I've been around for a while. I just wanted some opinions on here. I just fell way too hard for this girl a long time ago and when she came back into my life I fell too hard all over again. I know she's not the only girl in the world. She's just a girl that I have a weakness for and I'm trying to fix that weakness now. My situation with her just makes that a little more difficult than it should be at the moment.
Is this a case of her finding comfort in someone until her boyfriend came back around and decided to get in her good graces again? Do you think I should bring it up again and ask her what she's thinking? Should I just try and be her friends with her like I was before and wait it out?
.
In all honesty, unless you work with them and have to see them on a daily basis, being pure platonic friends with a women is worthless. Unless you're just hard up for up for conversation.
Yea that's what I'm trying to do right now is move on. Like I said though it's tough when she acts like everything is normal and talks to me like nothing ever happened. I can't just sit at the table and ignore her when we're at school. That's what I'm trying to do now is distance myself from her while still being civil. I may have used "friends" a little too loose in my first post. I know I can't be friends with this girl. All I have to do is make it to May 2011 and I'll be done with her.
It is hard when you can not totally avoid her, but try to limit your contact to unavoidable situations (in class, in lab, etc). If she asks you to go meet just say you are busy and if she calls keep it short and impersonal. With a bit of time and minimum contact your feelings will pass, although I doubt it feels that way right now
She wants you to confront her....kiss her passionately...then tell her to be yours!
That's it.
Step up to the plate and take charge Bro!!!
Women don't want some wishy washy loser to say, "I'll wait around for you."
Pfff!!!!
Tell her you're moving on.
Make her choose.
My goodness...this is so easy of an answer.
Nope. This won't work because all that will happen is that you'll end up in bed together and YOU will still have feelings for her while she doesn't for you. This is something that is good to do in the BEGINNING of a relationship and not when you are trying to rekindle one that isn't rekindable (did I just make up a word?).
Quote:
Originally Posted by typhoidmary
It is hard when you can not totally avoid her, but try to limit your contact to unavoidable situations (in class, in lab, etc). If she asks you to go meet just say you are busy and if she calls keep it short and impersonal. With a bit of time and minimum contact your feelings will pass, although I doubt it feels that way right now
I agree with the part in bold but not with the rest. This girl is a Moderator cut: Snip! so you have to be an Moderator cut: Snip to her. She won't get it otherwise. Tell her that she's a manipulative Moderator cut: Snip and you don't want to have anything else to do with her ever again. Tell her that you don't even want to see her on campus and that you would leave the school if you could. Say, "Don't call me ever again, you Moderator cut: Snip!" and do it with passion and then work hard at meeting other girls. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
I guarantee she WILL call and it will always be at the most inopportune time but you can't take those calls. If you hear her voice at the other end of the call, just hang up. Don't give her a chance to manipulate you.
Oh yeah, and watch Swingers. That movie is about YOU.
Last edited by cricket_factor; 02-22-2010 at 11:42 AM..
Reason: Language.
This girl is a **** so you have to be an **** to her. She won't get it otherwise. Tell her that she's a manipulative **** and you don't want to have anything else to do with her ever again. Tell her that you don't even want to see her on campus and that you would leave the school if you could. Say, "Don't call me ever again, you **** ****!" and do it with passion and then work hard at meeting other girls. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
I guarantee she WILL call and it will always be at the most inopportune time but you can't take those calls. If you hear her voice at the other end of the call, just hang up. Don't give her a chance to manipulate you.
Oh yeah, and watch Swingers. That movie is about YOU.
This is another valid option. So you have 2, gentle-gentle, and harsh break. Both will work. You will just have to pick which one you prefer
and +1 to fatman comics, whose name I keep reading as fateconomics
Last edited by cricket_factor; 02-22-2010 at 11:45 AM..
Well learning to listen to voice inflection and especially reading body language will keep the dogs of rejection away. Once I learned to decipher the whole package of verbal and non verbal cues I never have had any further problems.
Oh yeah, and watch Swingers. That movie is about YOU.
hahahahaha ive seen it.
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