How to handle a 'performer' (men, insecure, sign, never) - Relationships -Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - Page 2 - City-Data Forum

TKramar · 04-11-2010, 10:24 AM

I usually figure my SO can do better--and if my SO felt that I could do better, then that's an optimal situation. Both of us aim to please the other. Sounds great.

Coolhand68 · 04-11-2010, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by max's mama

Make it "all about him" night. Once in a while we like doing it. Basically just tell him that this night is all about him and his satisfaction and then tell him that next night it will be all about you. This way, he will know what to expect.
Just spend the entire time pleasuring him and it's against the rules for him to do anything in return. Tell him and verbalize it to him that he needs to learn how to receive and that it's very pleasurable for you as well.
Turn it into a game.

Great suggestion!

Whyte Byrd · 04-11-2010, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

Great suggestion!

Yes, I agree, although, it didn't change things. But, she said, it was fun trying.

max's mama · 04-11-2010, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd

Yes, I agree, although, it didn't change things. But, she said, it was fun trying.

Hmmm, who knows, he may have insecurities issues that are deeper than we know. Not being able to relax is a lot more common in women than men.

Coolhand68 · 04-11-2010, 10:38 AM

Perhaps in his desire to please you, he prevented himself from finishing before you. Could be he passed his "peak" and is unable to finish.

Whyte Byrd · 04-11-2010, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

Perhaps in his desire to please you, he prevented himself from finishing before you. Could be he passed his "peak" and is unable to finish.

This is what I was wondering about. So how do you fix it? Or get him to stop it?

JSizzle225 · 04-11-2010, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by max's mama

Make it "all about him" night. Once in a while we like doing it. Basically just tell him that this night is all about him and his satisfaction and then tell him that next night it will be all about you. This way, he will know what to expect.
Just spend the entire time pleasuring him and it's against the rules for him to do anything in return. Tell him and verbalize it to him that he needs to learn how to receive and that it's very pleasurable for you as well.
Turn it into a game.

I would find that borderline torturing. Maybe to the point where I couldn't enjoy myself. I don't know.

Coolhand68 · 04-11-2010, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd

This is what I was wondering about. So how do you fix it? Or get him to stop it?

Well, when he tries to slow down, stop, pull out or whatever method he uses to pace himself, don't let him.

max's mama · 04-11-2010, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JSizzle225

I would find that borderline torturing. Maybe to the point where I couldn't enjoy myself. I don't know.

Don't knock it until you try it.

JSizzle225 · 04-11-2010, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

Perhaps in his desire to please you, he prevented himself from finishing before you. Could be he passed his "peak" and is unable to finish.

That happens to me a lot. It's not a big deal as I don't need to orgasm to consider myself fulfilled. But I had one partner that would get really pissed off by it.