How to handle a 'performer' (guy, older, kids, advice)
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This was a serious question and I think I've got an idea of how to answer it but I'd like to see what others might suggest first.
Say your s/o can't get enough of you and is so wrapped up in satisfying and making you happy all the time--to the point that they say satisfying you is what gives them satisfaction; that they even neglect themselves or have a hard time completely letting go, shall we say, at certain and very specific times (do I need to spell it out? ). How do you get them to just relax and quit trying so hard?
I'd like to add, I think part of being a great lover is knowing how to receive so I can see why one would be frustrated at this.
Not to make light of your predicament, but ma'am, it would be very profitable for you if you could somehow bottle that and sell it to women to give to their men. "Here honey, have a beer." *plink plink, just a drop or two will do*
Far too often, and more often than not, the problem is the other way around, with men being the takers and women having to ask for reciprocity. Quite a few men mistake their own orgasm for the end of the activity and leave women hanging, as it were.
My advice to you is to enjoy the fact that this probably won't happen to you, and you will probably never be put in a position of having to ask for satisfaction. Relish that in your life, ladies will always come first. You can always tell him, "Okay, but after me, you." Heck, he may be doing it so that he doesn't have to "worry" about you, to be crass about it. If you go first, then he can just enjoy the rest without wondering if you've been satisfied.
And if you don't want him, send me his number. I have some girlfriends who would probably love to meet him.
Hand them some hand lotion and tell them to finish in the bathroom, then.
That would be my answer, too, except that if I turn the tables, and my guy shoved a vibrator in my hand and told me to do it myself, I would probably clock him on the head with it. Golden rule, as it were. You keep going unless the other person says, "It's all right. You don't have to."
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne
Not to make light of your predicament, but ma'am, it would be very profitable for you if you could somehow bottle that and sell it to women to give to their men. "Here honey, have a beer." *plink plink, just a drop or two will do*
Far too often, and more often than not, the problem is the other way around, with men being the takers and women having to ask for reciprocity. Quite a few men mistake their own orgasm for the end of the activity and leave women hanging, as it were.
My advice to you is to enjoy the fact that this probably won't happen to you, and you will probably never be put in a position of having to ask for satisfaction. Relish that in your life, ladies will always come first. You can always tell him, "Okay, but after me, you." Heck, he may be doing it so that he doesn't have to "worry" about you, to be crass about it. If you go first, then he can just enjoy the rest without wondering if you've been satisfied.
And if you don't want him, send me his number. I have some girlfriends who would probably love to meet him.
I think this is about two people who are more worried about the other being satisified than themselves. If only this were most couple's biggest problem.
it means you have found a codependent--- go to 12 step meetings with them and it will get better also possibly counseling. or not. people love codependents-- they treat you like royalty and door mat for you like crazy, but its ugly when they finally dump you when they get tired of your baloney.
I think this is about two people who are more worried about the other being satisified than themselves. If only this were most couple's biggest problem.
If both of them are that way, then one of them will have to learn how to arrive first. It's better that it's her. I don't want to generalize, but many men like to fall back on the line that they become "useless" once they finish. Stories galore about how they "black out," "can't function," "just want to sleep," "become like jelly," and so on. I don't believe a lick of it, but they'll say it in one form or another. Trust me. Take charge, get yours, and he'll fall into line.
My favorite is receiving oral sex, finishing, and then making the sex all about him...sex feels better for a woman after she's already orgasmed anyway...
My favorite is receiving oral sex, finishing, and then making the sex all about him...sex feels better for a woman after she's already orgasmed anyway...
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). How do you get them to just relax and quit trying so hard?
