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ABC special tells me from the beginning that its going to be overly controversial to boost ratings and to get people to discuss it.
Which will lead to forums, blogs, and some writing books and making a little money to cover different aspects of this pressing issue.
This is a possibility that I see.
Well the principle is simple but the practice may not be for some.
It may be wise in general for people to look for someone with honesty, compassion, self respect, a sense of humor, a sense of practical compromise, whose long term goals match theirs by a high percentage, who they have chemistry with, who they enjoy being spending a lot of time with and who they are physically attracted to enough to want to actually be affectionate.
This is after they do a thorough self analysis and decide what they truly want based on their desires and not what others deem appropriate.
Go out and meet people, and if they meet a person who fits, then let the chips fall where they may.
Not expecting for things to last forever, but enjoying that person for as long as things last and for as long as they both want to put effort forth. Nothing is guaranteed.
But if the people adhere to some basic qualities that just make people respectable humans in general, the relationships may work out better.
ABC special tells me from the beginning that its going to be overly controversial to boost ratings and to get people to discuss it.
Which will lead to forums, blogs, and some writing books and making a little money to cover different aspects of this pressing issue.
This is a possibility that I see.
Well the principle is simple but the practice may not be for some.
It may be wise in general for people to look for someone with honesty, compassion, self respect, a sense of humor, a sense of practical compromise, whose long term goals match theirs by a high percentage, who they have chemistry with, who they enjoy being spending a lot of time with and who they are physically attracted to enough to want to actually be affectionate.
This is after they do a thorough self analysis and decide what they truly want based on their desires and not what others deem appropriate.
Go out and meet people, and if they meet a person who fits, then let the chips fall where they may.
Not expecting for things to last forever, but enjoying that person for as long as things last and for as long as they both want to put effort forth. Nothing is guaranteed.
But if the people adhere to some basic qualities that just make people respectable humans in general, the relationships may work out better.
Yea, I agree, people need to get out more and do different things other then the D$$ club.
For example, I engage in aquatic activities (yea, a African dude in water!) at least once a week and I never see anybody but middle age people of mostly Asian decent.
LOL. Me too. I love water aerobics, ice skating, skiing, bike riding. Exercise is a really great way to meet people and it's great for the waistline too
LOL. Me too. I love water aerobics, ice skating, skiing, bike riding. Exercise is a really great way to meet people and it's great for the waistline too
Yep. I got to admit, my favorite is using the huge jacuzzi at my gym. It fits like 20 people, and it over looks the pool. At the time I go, I'm usually the only one using it while I relax and watch people swim laps in the pool.
The women in the video are 'too refined' because they are simply looking for attractive/well educated, and intelligent men? The truth is, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the women in the video. Nicole (the prosecuting attorney featured) graduated from Emory Law School. Why should she want to date a garbage collector, janitor or Mcdonalds manager? She's attractive, intelligent and has a great career (not to mention her own property).
In reality, professional black women who marry blue collar workers set themselves up for divorce and failure. Do you really think that the majority of blue collar workers aren't intimidated by an attractive/intelligent professional woman? In general, men that have no interest in higher educational attainment, tend to dislike intellectual activities. Of course there are professional men that may dislike certain activities as well, but it's far more likely that non professional men won't want to participate. They may see it as being bourgeois or to use your words 'too refined.' The professional woman, will then be forced to either lower her standards in the relationship, or be her own boss. Choosing the later, may however result in domestic violence. Also, let's not forget the real issue. Professional women that marry blue collar workers tend to earn more. Most men (even those that claim it's not an issue) really do care about this. Many will grow to resent the woman, for simply out earning him. When a woman marries a man that makes less, she lowers her stock. For instance, a woman earning 120K that marries a man making 40K, will not have the same lifestyle as one that marries a man that makes more than her.
For this reason, women should marry men that are their intellectual/professional equal or superior. They should never marry a man that does not have the drive or ability to achieve either the same or more. Therefore, Nicole has every right to demand that her future husband have the same educational credentials, earnings, property etc, that she has obtained. That's not being 'too refined,' it's called being smart.
I agree with this a thousand percent. It has happened to so many people I know
That's not only black women, that's most women in general. Let a man show some strength and women equate that to being controlling/domineering
I didn't say I thought ALL black women were like that. I've had happy relations with black women that weren't that way. But I do understand your post. Many, many women are like this.
He doesn't. But, some black women are looking for the perfect black man. Some of us are single, because we are waiting for "Prince Blackness". Instead of, opening our dating pool. It's other races of guys looking at us.
I have the same conversation over and over and over with some of my single, professional Black friends....and it drives me crazy.
The conversation is usually something like this......
Friend 1: "I'm so tired of being by myself. Where are all of the good Black men?"
Friend 2: "They are too busy chasing Becky, Maria and Mai Ling."
Friend 1: "That is so true. What is wrong with Black men?"
Me: "Maybe you should stop focusing on just Black men and open your options to just good men in general."
Friend 1: "I'm sorry but I must have a chocolate man. I want chocolate babies."
Friend 2: "Me too. I want a guy that looks like Morris Chestnut. He has to to have a little edge. He can't be corny. And he must be corporate or an attorney. I love guys who are attorneys because they are sort of cocky. I love cocky, arrogant guys."
Me: "Why not just focus on being the best you and let a good guy find you. And why does he have to be cocky, that translates to an a-hole to me. Seriously, there are a lot of great guys out there. You just need to be more open. Why not date a White guy or a Latino. Who cares. He may be the one that God intended for you."
Friend 1: "Only a Black man can understand a Black woman."
Friend 2: "And I know that God wants me to have a good chocolate Black man."
Me: changes the subject
Only a black man can understand a black woman? I spoke to my brown ( I prefer brown as most 'black women' I've dated were closer to brown than black) girlriends often and understood every word they said. And most of them said a LOT of 'em.. What language is she speaking I wonder..
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