Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My wife and I have been married for 25 years. We went to it, and it was a great benefit. We didn't go because we had a bad relationship, but it helped us think about some things ahead of time. I'm glad we did.
Heaven forbid anyone should have sex before making the biggest decision of their lives.
You don't buy a car before checking everything works yourself.
I don't buy a car based on someone else's say so.
Marriage should be taken a lot more seriously than buying a car.
Yet people who did have a sexual relationship before marriage, not just took a test drive but really put it to some good use, do not always seem to take the marriage seriously. The divorce rate will not be so high then. And it is not high because they did not test drive. They want a different partner, a different car. They just realize they dont like the car, they dont want to be married. The dont think marriage is the biggest decision in their life, they think sex is.
Sex has nothing to do with marriage. A good marriage takes firm commitment, to the marriage, to make it work, to the partner, to your kids, to oneself. Sex can be had partner or not. That is why god gave us hands.
Do you mean "should" in a biological or moral sense?
Biologically speaking, I would answer yes because our sex organs were designed to send pleasure signals to our brain. If there are no biological deficiencies, then sex will generally be pleasurable.
Morally speaking, I would say that each partner in the marriage has a duty to ensure that their partner is satisfied in the marital act; but should one be left unsatisfied through no fault of either one, there is no moral failing there.
I mean in every sense.
People are not all built the same. Sex can be extremely displeasurable for all sorts of reasons, both physical and emotional. To say two people just having the right organs is just so naive. If you have found someone you are sexually compatible with, great! That doesn't always happen and no amount of counseling is going to change a physical issue.
People have different emotional needs as well when it comes to sex and counseling is only going to go so far with that as well. Like I said in an earlier post, if you need counseling, you're doing it wrong and you'll probably never make the other person happy, let's face it.
And by the way, a lot of people on this thread seem to think it's an either / or situation. You can have a great personal relationship AND a physically pleasurable one. They're not mutually exclusive.
My wife and I have been married for 25 years. We went to it, and it was a great benefit. We didn't go because we had a bad relationship, but it helped us think about some things ahead of time. I'm glad we did.
experiences.
Great. Glad it helped and glad it worked out for you.
I've also been married for 25 years. We didn't need counseling. We both had several previous relationships and knew we found the right person when we met. SO glad I didn't marry any of the previous ones.
Quote:
But it's interesting that you seem to be taking the stance that we should ignore God's commands regarding sexual purity, and we should thumb our nose at the idea of getting wise counsel from others in lieu of simply having physical
Well obviously I'm an atheist.
Why 'simply the physical'?
At no point do I think sex is the ONLY important thing in a marriage. A sexless marriage is perfectly fine IF both parties are aware that's going to be the situation.
I'm saying the physical part has got nothing to do with anyone else. Every relationship is entirely unique and it's got nothing to do with anyone else.
My wife and I have been married for 25 years. We went to it, and it was a great benefit. We didn't go because we had a bad relationship, but it helped us think about some things ahead of time. I'm glad we did.
But it's interesting that you seem to be taking the stance that we should ignore God's commands regarding sexual purity, and we should thumb our nose at the idea of getting wise counsel from others in lieu of simply having physical experiences.
I don't think that's what he's saying at all. I think he's saying you live your life the way you wish...as a believer. Others of us -- with different beliefs -- can live our lives the way we wish without the mandatory christian guilt trip.
There are no good reasons not to sleep together before marriage. There are lots of good reasons to sleep with your prospective spouse before marriage. Sleeping together before you tie the knot saves you from finding out before it's too late that your husband is impotent; that your wife is frigid; that your husband is sterile; that your wife is sterile. That your spouse is a closeted gay who prefers their own sex. Save yourself the grief of having to cope with all this after you're married and test drive the marriage beforehand.Those are words of wisdom that every couple contemplating marriage should heed.
Why do you think divorce is higher among Christians than it is among atheists? Duh!
Last edited by thrillobyte; 02-17-2023 at 09:22 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
