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I'll make this easy for you. Many people believe that I am God. If you don't believe in me, and reject the God you are currently following, you will go to hell. If you worship me, I'll give you a happy eternal life.
Now, do your same calculation with me, please. I think you'll find that you might as well be safe and go ahead and worship me.
Are you a benevolent God or are you a "Toddler" God who needs constant attention, prayers, sacrifices, and special buildings built to your glory ?
Because to be honest I really don't need a petulant spiteful child as a deity.
Do you move in mysterious ways or can we expect a modicum of logic and common sense in your endeavours and will you respect us poor saps ?
I think we should be told . It's only fair if I am asked to worship you. Could we set an interview sometimes ( at a mutually convenient time) to set our respective goals and where this god thing is leading to.
To be honest you're ahead of the competition already as I have seen your photograph and you at least have a physical reality ( and are kinda cute) . Darn, of course you could have just posted anybody's photo - hence the need for an interview.
I won't be required to read some really boring "scriptures" will I ? No offence but I'm not that committed to be honest. What do I get out of it ?
I have no interest in eternal life so how about something far more useful like health and happiness instead ? And I always fancied my own Island too.
I would also be immensely grateful if you could promise to stop all wars, slavery, rape, murder etc... by forceful means if necessary. I mean free will is great but there has to be limits. If you have the power of goodness for goodness do it.
If I promise to worship you will you smite mine enemies ? Does your plan include Universal Health and Dental ? What are the perks ? Paid vacation , maternity benefit, sickness benefit etc...
I feel for us to take you seriously you really need to put a bit more effort in your bid for deity supreme. Some of us have issues with taking things on faith so maybe a 10 step plan would be useful ?
Apart from that I have put you more or less at the top of the list but the interview should settle it ( no video conferencing allowed , too many risks of fraud and tampering ) .
Wouldn't a beer fountain be a lot nicer ?! Or do you dream of molten beer pouring down " a la Pompei" ? As a non beer drinker I am obviously missing the attraction .
I'm hoping for endless fresh seafood and Wagyu Beef myself. Heaven without decent food is not even worth contemplating as a place to retire.
Yes, I think the general consensus is that we will be drinking from the streams of beer lava that will flow from the volcanoes - obviously, the FSM is a bit drunk, so some things are not very clear
There has been quite a lot of discussion about whether the beer will be cold, and whether it will have a head on it - but we have been assured that for non-beer drinkers there will be beverages of choice available. I have a feeling the tequila one is going to be very popular!
You can keep all the seafood - no problem! Just leave me the bar snacks
Are you a benevolent God or are you a "Toddler" God who needs constant attention, prayers, sacrifices, and special buildings built to your glory ?
Because to be honest I really don't need a petulant spiteful child as a deity.
Do you move in mysterious ways or can we expect a modicum of logic and common sense in your endeavours and will you respect us poor saps ?
I think we should be told . It's only fair if I am asked to worship you. Could we set an interview sometimes ( at a mutually convenient time) to set our respective goals and where this god thing is leading to.
To be honest you're ahead of the competition already as I have seen your photograph and you at least have a physical reality ( and are kinda cute) . Darn, of course you could have just posted anybody's photo - hence the need for an interview.
I won't be required to read some really boring "scriptures" will I ? No offence but I'm not that committed to be honest. What do I get out of it ?
I have no interest in eternal life so how about something far more useful like health and happiness instead ? And I always fancied my own Island too.
I would also be immensely grateful if you could promise to stop all wars, slavery, rape, murder etc... by forceful means if necessary. I mean free will is great but there has to be limits. If you have the power of goodness for goodness do it.
If I promise to worship you will you smite mine enemies ? Does your plan include Universal Health and Dental ? What are the perks ? Paid vacation , maternity benefit, sickness benefit etc...
I feel for us to take you seriously you really need to put a bit more effort in your bid for deity supreme. Some of us have issues with taking things on faith so maybe a 10 step plan would be useful ?
Apart from that I have put you more or less at the top of the list but the interview should settle it ( no video conferencing allowed , too many risks of fraud and tampering ) .
Wow! You put a lot of thought into that - I feel kinda shallow now
I don't feel disappointment at all, in fact just the opposite. I am now fascinated by science, and no longer have to pretend to scoff when I read of a discovery that may possibly undermine religion. I think that deep down I was an atheist all along. I grew up in (and still live in) a large town where everyone I know is highly religious. I was forced to go to church three times a week until I was about 17, and I always hated it. However, I told myself that I believed it all but I'm not sure I ever really did. Now when I'm immersed in nature I am more amazed than ever by it's beauty and complexity. Believing a supreme being simply designed and created all of this is not that interesting to me, nor has it ever been. But learning how our planet and even our universe got to this point on it's own through a natural process is beyond fascinating, and knowing that there is an infinite amount of knowledge we haven't yet obtained makes life more worth living than hoping I don't burn in hell forever.
Are you a benevolent God or are you a "Toddler" God who needs constant attention, prayers, sacrifices, and special buildings built to your glory ?
.........
I feel for us to take you seriously you really need to put a bit more effort in your bid for deity supreme. Some of us have issues with taking things on faith so maybe a 10 step plan would be useful ?
Apart from that I have put you more or less at the top of the list but the interview should settle it ( no video conferencing allowed , too many risks of fraud and tampering ) .
I appreciate the interest you've shown in my religion.
I'm afraid I can't offer you the same range of benefits the other God promesis. But I do still think you'll find my religion is competitive, for two primary reasons; (1) I am slightly cheaper, in that instead of working off a 10% commission, I charge a flat rate of $90, (payable in three easy installments of $29.95), and (2) I can actually deliver on the promises I make.
There are lots of distinctions between the two religions that you should be aware of when you are trying to decide whether you should worship me or the Lord of the Christian bible. For example, the Christian God claims to communicate through prayer. I communicate through email. And while prayer is a bit quicker, it is unfortunately indistinguishable from just having happy, (or vengeful) thoughts. While my emails may seem somewhat less impressive, I do have the virtue of answering them in an easily identifiable ways.
In either religion, you'll be asked to behave like the lord your worship. So if you worship me, you should know that my family and I do volunteer work by picking up trash at local dive sites with other divers, (part of a larger program by PADI.) The other God had such hobbies as killing all the first born children of egypt, and sending two angry bears to maul 42 children who made fun of a bald guy.
So you have to decide which style of lordship is consistant with your definition of a "good deed." If you're primarily concerned with a healthy environment, I might be worth taking a look at. On the other hand, if smoting your enemies is something that is important to you, then you should really consider the Christian God.
As a general rule, I don't punish knowledge or celebrate ignorance, which is common in the Christian religion. For example, the forbidden fruit came from the tree of knowledge. That last thing God wanted was for people to know they were naked. On a related point, you might also note that being sexually naive and unsophesticated is celebrated by the Christian God. The christian concept of puriety is directly tied to "not knowing", and to know and be experienced sexual is considered a bad thing with him.
As for me, I'm not that concerend with what humans do with their genitals. There's lots of bigger problems on my plate, and the "how or why" you get pleasure from your private parts is something I don't concern myself with.
You may feel free to request divine intervention at sporting events, which ever religion you choose.
I'm sorry I don't have time to answer all of your questions. But I hope that I have given you enough information to make an informed decision about which lord you wish to worship.
I appreciate the interest you've shown in my religion.
I'm afraid I can't offer you the same range of benefits the other God promesis. But I do still think you'll find my religion is competitive, for two primary reasons; (1) I am slightly cheaper, in that instead of working off a 10% commission, I charge a flat rate of $90, (payable in three easy installments of $29.95), and (2) I can actually deliver on the promises I make.
There are lots of distinctions between the two religions that you should be aware of when you are trying to decide whether you should worship me or the Lord of the Christian bible. For example, the Christian God claims to communicate through prayer. I communicate through email. And while prayer is a bit quicker, it is unfortunately indistinguishable from just having happy, (or vengeful) thoughts. While my emails may seem somewhat less impressive, I do have the virtue of answering them in an easily identifiable ways.
In either religion, you'll be asked to behave like the lord your worship. So if you worship me, you should know that my family and I do volunteer work by picking up trash at local dive sites with other divers, (part of a larger program by PADI.) The other God had such hobbies as killing all the first born children of egypt, and sending two angry bears to maul 42 children who made fun of a bald guy.
So you have to decide which style of lordship is consistant with your definition of a "good deed." If you're primarily concerned with a healthy environment, I might be worth taking a look at. On the other hand, if smoting your enemies is something that is important to you, then you should really consider the Christian God.
As a general rule, I don't punish knowledge or celebrate ignorance, which is common in the Christian religion. For example, the forbidden fruit came from the tree of knowledge. That last thing God wanted was for people to know they were naked. On a related point, you might also note that being sexually naive and unsophesticated is celebrated by the Christian God. The christian concept of puriety is directly tied to "not knowing", and to know and be experienced sexual is considered a bad thing with him.
As for me, I'm not that concerend with what humans do with their genitals. There's lots of bigger problems on my plate, and the "how or why" you get pleasure from your private parts is something I don't concern myself with.
You may feel free to request divine intervention at sporting events, which ever religion you choose.
I'm sorry I don't have time to answer all of your questions. But I hope that I have given you enough information to make an informed decision about which lord you wish to worship.
I bless you.
Boxcar Overkill
That *does* sound tempting, but I think I will stick with the FSM, I like my god to have more input in carbohydrate based food items and alcoholic beverages.
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Or do you dream of molten beer pouring down " a la Pompei" ? As a non beer drinker I am obviously missing the attraction . 
duh.
