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And the saga and adventure continue with the odd twists and turns that prove, once again, that life is what happens when you've made other plans!
SD and the boys will be departing our humble abode in about 90 days - not to move into someplace here in America but to return to the left coast from whence they came.
Seems that granddaughter has discovered that she's a little bit pregnant and SD feels understandably compelled to return to be close to and supportive of her.
While SD was determined to repay us for the cost of her trip out here, I told her to forget it and simply provide what amounts to a token monthly payment to defray some of our increased utility costs. She'll need the bulk of what she receives from unemployment to reestablish herself and the boys, perhaps GD as well, once she's back.
And the saga and adventure continue with the odd twists and turns that prove, once again, that life is what happens when you've made other plans!
SD and the boys will be departing our humble abode in about 90 days - not to move into someplace here in America but to return to the left coast from whence they came.
Seems that granddaughter has discovered that she's a little bit pregnant and SD feels understandably compelled to return to be close to and supportive of her.
While SD was determined to repay us for the cost of her trip out here, I told her to forget it and simply provide what amounts to a token monthly payment to defray some of our increased utility costs. She'll need the bulk of what she receives from unemployment to reestablish herself and the boys, perhaps GD as well, once she's back.
Ain't we got fun?!?!
If I may ask, with whom is granddaughter now living and supported by whom?
Seems like a much wiser decision would be for your SD to gather her kids including pregnant daughter and settle in the Midwest where the COL is so much less and where stability including jobs is much more likely. I cannot imagine how SD, with no job and three kids in tow, is going to have the money to reestablish herself on West Coast---first month's, last month's, security deposit, food and clothing, etc etc; she must be getting help from somewhere?
Maybe it's time to make clear that the next residency will NOT be with a new baby in tow.
Not trying to be judgmental, but I do feel for the two young boys. They sound like they won't have much stability in their lives. Too bad she couldn't or wouldn't leave them with you for a year or two, but then again and understandably, maybe you and your DW wouldn't want that. It's always easy to say what one would do in your case, but if I were in your shoes I'd be pushing that idea. She could always send money for the boys' support while she reestablishes herself and gets her life on track, and the boys would be safe and sound and eating right and secure in school.
Three months is a long time. I hope the boys don't have to get taken out of school before the end of the school year.
Best wishes for the New Year to the Curmudgeon Family~~
If I may ask, with whom is granddaughter now living and supported by whom?
Seems like a much wiser decision would be for your SD to gather her kids including pregnant daughter and settle in the Midwest where the COL is so much less and where stability including jobs is much more likely. I cannot imagine how SD, with no job and three kids in tow, is going to have the money to reestablish herself on West Coast---first month's, last month's, security deposit, food and clothing, etc etc; she must be getting help from somewhere?
Maybe it's time to make clear that the next residency will NOT be with a new baby in tow.
Not trying to be judgmental, but I do feel for the two young boys. They sound like they won't have much stability in their lives. Too bad she couldn't or wouldn't leave them with you for a year or two, but then again and understandably, maybe you and your DW wouldn't want that. It's always easy to say what one would do in your case, but if I were in your shoes I'd be pushing that idea. She could always send money for the boys' support while she reestablishes herself and gets her life on track, and the boys would be safe and sound and eating right and secure in school.
Three months is a long time. I hope the boys don't have to get taken out of school before the end of the school year.
Best wishes for the New Year to the Curmudgeon Family~~
Wouldn't work. GD's been living with her boyfriend's family (pregnancy no surprise) and SD has been providing some support. Neither she nor baby daddy aka: BD (they plan to get married now) would assimilate well into the rather conservative environs in which we've settled. They're into the barrio/ghetto/hip-hop culture and that doesn't translate well where we live. GD is half Hispanic and BD is half Native American. That they would likely be frowned upon because of it is unfortunate but a fact of life and placement. They'd hate it anyway anywhere but an inner city.
As for where SD ends up, there really are a number of options that could make it possible for her/them. She's getting unemployment and food stamps and really is employable so she's not without potential. Leaving the boys with us is NOT an option. I didn't retire to start parenting youngsters again. Served my time and retired from it years ago. Have no intention of going back. My bad! Guess I'm not such a nice guy after all. Just not cut out for it. But at least I know my limitations.
We feel for all of them but I'll be damned if I'm going to give up my hopes, plans and aspirations for retirement and whatever years I have left - my peace, quiet, tranquility and sanity - to make up for others' mistakes and bad choices. Ain't happenin' on my watch. If wife feels differently, she's welcome to go back to the left coast with them and provide support in place. She has her own pension and SS income and I can maintain the house and myself on mine alone. She'd just have to write off her "share" of any equity or pay a proportional share of the mortgage.
Yeah, your shoes and mine are decidedly two different sizes.
And the saga and adventure continue with the odd twists and turns that prove, once again, that life is what happens when you've made other plans!
SD and the boys will be departing our humble abode in about 90 days - not to move into someplace here in America but to return to the left coast from whence they came.
Seems that granddaughter has discovered that she's a little bit pregnant and SD feels understandably compelled to return to be close to and supportive of her.
While SD was determined to repay us for the cost of her trip out here, I told her to forget it and simply provide what amounts to a token monthly payment to defray some of our increased utility costs. She'll need the bulk of what she receives from unemployment to reestablish herself and the boys, perhaps GD as well, once she's back.
Ain't we got fun?!?!
Holy cow, that's quite a development! If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were making this up as you went along. (You're not...are you? LOL)
I really feel bad for those boys...they are the innocent victims here. I imagine that this Christmas at your house was one of their best ever, and it sounds like you've tried to be a good role model for them.
Best of luck to ALL of you. I look forward to the next installment of "My Retirement Adventure".
Holy cow, that's quite a development! If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were making this up as you went along. (You're not...are you? LOL)
I really feel bad for those boys...they are the innocent victims here. I imagine that this Christmas at your house was one of their best ever, and it sounds like you've tried to be a good role model for them.
Best of luck to ALL of you. I look forward to the next installment of "My Retirement Adventure".
Just proves that truth is stranger than fiction. Stay tunerd for further developments. I'm sure there will be several.
Just proves that truth is stranger than fiction. Stay tunerd for further developments. I'm sure there will be several.
I hope this is a good thing for all even though it might be in disguise at this time.
It is hard to see loved ones take a path we might not agree with. Especially tough when we have to put our foot down and say enough is enough, go sleep in the bed you made.
Yep, you can't make this stuff up. Some people are just bound and determined to screw up their lives because it is easier at the time.
Curm's world will take a few more twists and turns, yet, before SD departs - if she does. A lot can happen in 90 days. We'll stay tuned.
Don't know what to say, Curm, other than hang in there. Geez.
Prescient, I tell you. Prescient! Also crazy-making.
SD's now staying here. In talking with her about all this I reminded her that SD is ONE member of the family and she has three others to consider, including herself. I said that to preface mentioning that everyone and what's best for them should be considered carefully before any hard, fast decisions about the future are made - that GD made hers and now it's everyone else's turn.
Whataya know. SD decided that this is a far better, more wholesome environment for the boys and for her as well, the schools are better and the society more civil and considerate, the area much safer and more peaceful, etc. They're staying. In particular that means the boys won't be uprooted and bounced between schools again and can begin to feel some sense of belonging and security.
Can't argue with any of that. Guess we're now decidedly in this for the long haul. Me and my big mouth!
In any event, not sure that I'm going to do any updates for awhile. Gotta let the dust settle and see what direction things REALLY turn.
Another change. SD was determined that I should walk GD down the aisle if and when she and Whozit get married. I wasn't convinced that was the best idea for a number of reasons I don't need to go into into now to include not necessarily being there for the festivities. My wife saved the day and reminded SD that GD has a Godfather who's always been very attentive, loving and involved in her life. I've always been Grandpa and pretended at nothing more. He would be the logical and proper one to do the honors. Thankfully, SD concurred. Feel like I dodged a bullet here.
So after all that, I'm not going to say, "stay tuned." Who knows what the next six hours will bring.
Oh my....I was just saying a prayer for those boys when I read your first post today
Curm, hang in there. Those boys are very important and overall, there are more pluses to be living in the midwest. (NewEnglandGirl is correct there).
I would worry that those boys would get exposed to a poor environment if they returned to CA - they are at very impressionable ages at this point and what you are doing will have a far lasting, greater impact than you realize.
The world is hard today. I have a few friends whose children have married and are starting on their wonderful journeys. I know others whose children haven't done well at all or missed out on opportunities.
The fact that SD changed her mind shows she really is concerned about the quality of life her boys are receiving (and she herself) so that's a good thing. I'm sure once the holidays are over and the boys are back in school that she will look for a job and once that happens, I'm sure she will look to move into their own place.
Like sands through the hourglass, so go the days....
Curmudgeon, my friend, come here and sit down and let's talk.
I feel for you that your life is being stretched every which way. You have a wonderful heart. I agree with you that you and DW need to get on with your retirement dream, rather than take on the task of raising two young boys. I hope that will be realized soon.
You are a gem for sharing all this with us, I hope it is somewhat "therapeutic" for you to write all this down. You know the majority of us support you in all this.
I have two grown children that live far from me and have had "issues" to deal with in their own lives. Their's are continuing sagas too with lots and lots of drama. It is easy for me to deal with it from a distance, and so far my advice is not requested. So for you to be living right in the middle of SD's, I can truly sympathize.
I am hoping that the new year will bring some restored calm and order to your life. Bless you my friend!
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Already a new twist. I quit!
Oh my....I was just saying a prayer for those boys when I read your first post today
Like sands through the hourglass, so go the days....
