Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was hoping to get some views on the subject of a spouse unwilling to move. We have visited Oregon several times and we both like it (we currently live in the Northeast (Massachusetts). My wife is unwilling to move because of her ailing mother (lives with her husband) and 1 daughter that lives nearby - our other 2 daughters live in California (which actually will be closer to us in Oregon).
My reasons why I think we should be able to move:
1. This is our time - sorry to put it this way but things go downhill from here and I want to enjoy our lives together start doing things - gardening, camping, travel
2. Massachusetts is very expensive and we both agree we need to cut expenses - yes I know Oregon is in the middle of road of saving money. What I have found in my research the areas with the lowest cost of living has more negatives to the area
3. We will still be in communication with family in the Northeast - we are not going to move into a cave
4. I have family in the Northeast but I cannot see being held back from your dreams. Are you suppose to hang around until you are too old to do anything?
5. I have had several major health issues and I want to do things before I am not able to and no regrets.
6. I do not like the weather anymore in the East - too humid at times, cold for about 5 months of the year, and the cost of living.
Your comments would be appreciated,
Thanks
Tonytiger
Good luck with that. With her mother ailing I can well understand your wife's reluctance to move to the opposite coast. You may have hit a crossroad in life in which your only choice is to either follow your dream alone or acquiesce to your wife's wishes. If you choose the latter route you'll have to be very careful not to let your disappointment color your relationship. Perhaps more temporary visits to Oregon are in your future until such time as your MIL passes. Then be sure to give your wife ample time in place to mourn before broaching the subject of a move again.
Life is truly what happens when we've made other plans.
I was hoping to get some views on the subject of a spouse unwilling to move. We have visited Oregon several times and we both like it (we currently live in the Northeast (Massachusetts). My wife is unwilling to move because of her ailing mother (lives with her husband) and 1 daughter that lives nearby - our other 2 daughters live in California (which actually will be closer to us in Oregon).
My reasons why I think we should be able to move:
1. This is our time - sorry to put it this way but things go downhill from here and I want to enjoy our lives together start doing things - gardening, camping, travel
2. Massachusetts is very expensive and we both agree we need to cut expenses - yes I know Oregon is in the middle of road of saving money. What I have found in my research the areas with the lowest cost of living has more negatives to the area
3. We will still be in communication with family in the Northeast - we are not going to move into a cave
4. I have family in the Northeast but I cannot see being held back from your dreams. Are you suppose to hang around until you are too old to do anything?
5. I have had several major health issues and I want to do things before I am not able to and no regrets.
6. I do not like the weather anymore in the East - too humid at times, cold for about 5 months of the year, and the cost of living.
Your comments would be appreciated,
Thanks
Tonytiger
Possible to rent a furnished place for a few months and just do a test drive? If you still really like it then go back home for a few months and regroup about how to do all this. If it was me, I would probably rent out my MA house and use the proceeds to rent a place in OR. That way, if your wife becomes widowed she has a place to return to in MA if that is what she wants.
Newenglandgirl, we are in Tellico Village, which is considered a part of the town of Loudon, even though it is about 7-8 miles to Loudon. It's a large lakeside community on the shores of Tellico Lake, approximately 25 freeway miles from Knoxville. It is not specifically a retirement community, but most folks in TV are retired from areas around the country, many from Michigan and Wisconsin for some reason. It is not that bad in the summer, it is hot and humid but I would say it averages temps in the 80-low 90's with about 55-60% humidity. Much more humid than our old home of CA, but really not a big deal. I've never been to N. Carolina, so I can't compare. I will say that it is much better than the humidity of the gulf coast or Florida which I have visited and HATED.
I am about to retire to northern New England from Long Island, and I'm getting all sorts of negative comments from friends, neighbors and coworkers. You can imagine. I just smile them away. Fortunately, my adult children are fully supportive and excited about my new adventure. I'm pretty psyched, myself!
The house is on the market as of yesterday, so, New England, here I come!
I am about to retire to northern New England from Long Island, and I'm getting all sorts of negative comments from friends, neighbors and coworkers. You can imagine. I just smile them away. Fortunately, my adult children are fully supportive and excited about my new adventure. I'm pretty psyched, myself!
The house is on the market as of yesterday, so, New England, here I come!
Sweepea, welcome to New England! Though not sunny right now, it's really pretty out there with a light dusting of snow over the fields. It's hibernation time.
Get some silk long underwear and woolen hats. I find the more I layer the warmer I am. I have to psyche myself to go out into the cold for a walk, but once I'm out there, properly layered, it feels great.
Sweepea, welcome to New England! Though not sunny right now, it's really pretty out there with a light dusting of snow over the fields. It's hibernation time.
Get some silk long underwear and woolen hats. I find the more I layer the warmer I am. I have to psyche myself to go out into the cold for a walk, but once I'm out there, properly layered, it feels great.
When are you moving?
Long underwear is on my list, and also those flannel-lined jeans from L.L. Bean!
I'm moving as soon as I get a buyer, which I hope will be right away. Someone at work told me to plant one of those St. Joseph figurines upside down in the front yard!
I am very late to this conversation. However, I would add several reasons why I would consider moving to Cleveland:
1) Availability of excellent health care. University Hospitals and the Cleveland Clinic are two major research centers and have a network of hospitals in the area.
2) Great neighborhoods and neighbors. My mother passed away as we were moving into our home in Lakewood. A number of my neighbors and my in-laws cleaned up the house so that it was clean when we arrived. I did not even know the neighbors at the time.
3) Availability of senior services is particularly strong, especially subsidized housing for seniors.
4) Affordability of quality-built older housing.
5) Climate - on the west side - is not as bad as much of the Midwest.
I am about to retire to northern New England from Long Island, and I'm getting all sorts of negative comments from friends, neighbors and coworkers. You can imagine. I just smile them away. Fortunately, my adult children are fully supportive and excited about my new adventure. I'm pretty psyched, myself!
Well, no, I can't imagine, so hopefully you will enlighten me. Why would you receive negative comments about your proposed move? Is Long Island supposed to be some wonderful place or something? I don't see anything wrong with northern New England, other than the cold winters, but I assume you are fine with the winter climate there, so what's to complain about? You wouldn't be getting any negative comments from me.
Well, no, I can't imagine, so hopefully you will enlighten me. Why would you receive negative comments about your proposed move? Is Long Island supposed to be some wonderful place or something? I don't see anything wrong with northern New England, other than the cold winters, but I assume you are fine with the winter climate there, so what's to complain about? You wouldn't be getting any negative comments from me.
Most people here move south for warmer weather, not north. Also, people here, myself included, are spoiled by the cultural richness, excellent schools and libraries, high salaries, and beaches on both shores, and they hesitate to leave until they find out that other places also have much to offer. Sometimes different places are best at different times in our lives.
We are back in our old stomping grounds plus and just had post Thanksgiving dinner with old friends who we often had Thanksgiving dinner with. Who said we moved? Visited another friend first. A physical move does mean leaving your bonding experiences behind. Those you are closes too realize that after awhile.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
??
