Negative feedback from family, friends on retirement relocation? (beach, friendly, state)
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I am hardly being original here, but some people move precisely to get away from disfunctional and sick families, even if that move may come late in the game, such as at retirement when the job location no longer matters. Excessive and smothering "togetherness" may be unhealthy (depending on the forms it takes), and some controlling family members resent those who have the independence to strike out on their own and thus escape their control. Another aspect of this same thing would be when the family drama is thick and excessive and people may want to simply escape that.
I am hardly being original here, but some people move precisely to get away from disfunctional and sick families, even if that move may come late in the game, such as at retirement when the job location no longer matters. Excessive and smothering "togetherness" may be unhealthy (depending on the forms it takes), and some controlling family members resent those who have the independence to strike out on their own and thus escape their control. Another aspect of this same thing would be when the family drama is thick and excessive and people may want to simply escape that.
My children always support my decisions (unless when I was not certain and needed their inputs), as I theirs, so it does not matter where I live or what I do, their reactions have always been "Will you be happy doing that? You will? Then go for it, Mom."
Husband's daughter is a different story, but I usually try not to let unpleasant people bother me. The rest of our families and friends have given up voicing their opinions years ago, after the first dozen times when we did things they considered non-sensible/unwise/illogical.
I am hardly being original here, but some people move precisely to get away from disfunctional and sick families, even if that move may come late in the game, such as at retirement when the job location no longer matters. Excessive and smothering "togetherness" may be unhealthy (depending on the forms it takes), and some controlling family members resent those who have the independence to strike out on their own and thus escape their control. Another aspect of this same thing would be when the family drama is thick and excessive and people may want to simply escape that.
Definitely. When my mother was alive and creating a dysfunctional mess all around her, I would have loved to move far away but was one of two siblings (out of four) who had to deal with it. If she were alive today I may have to reconsider staying and trying to help, as I'm much older now and not with the patience and reserves I once had.
I am hardly being original here, but some people move precisely to get away from disfunctional and sick families, even if that move may come late in the game, such as at retirement when the job location no longer matters. Excessive and smothering "togetherness" may be unhealthy (depending on the forms it takes), and some controlling family members resent those who have the independence to strike out on their own and thus escape their control. Another aspect of this same thing would be when the family drama is thick and excessive and people may want to simply escape that.
Where were you when I needed you? You described my family until my mother passed - now none of us want anything to do with each other. This is the opposite effect that she was trying so desparately to accomplish - but in the wrong manner.
We're going to find ourselves in a strange reverse role. My folks refuse to cash out even though it would have made the most financial sense.
And because unless we hit a windfall there is no way we can justify staying in an expensive coastal urban area, we're the ones who shall have to cash out, move to a less expensive geography and bank the proceeds.
I never ask for opinions when I do something and anyone who knows me would know it goes in one ear and out the other so why bother.
However, I moved away to another state from all of them 12 years earlier, while still working (for a job promotion), so when I decided to relocate in retirement from that location, the decision wasn't made from where they all live. You know, if there was any eye rolling and whispering about it, I wasn't there to see it or hear it. Did they expect me to come back when I retired? I don't know and it never occurred to me to ask.
Most of them have lived their entire lives within a 25 mile radius and that includes one friend in the second location.
I never ask for opinions when I do something and anyone who knows me would know it goes in one ear and out the other so why bother.
However, I moved away to another state from all of them 12 years earlier, while still working (for a job promotion), so when I decided to relocate in retirement from that location, the decision wasn't made from where they all live. You know, if there was any eye rolling and whispering about it, I wasn't there to see it or hear it. Did they expect me to come back when I retired? I don't know and it never occurred to me to ask.
Most of them have lived their entire lives within a 25 mile radius and that includes one friend in the second location.
The bold part (above) is my experience too. I was just thinking about that. Sisters, friends have lived in the same place since 1960–1970. All in the same house they each got back then. I, on the other hand, have lived in something like 12 places in my lifetime, 3 of them different geographic locations. My H was always moving for a job, and I followed, with kids. So maybe that's part of my antsiness now. The longest I've ever stayed in one place was 13 years, at my previous house. Do I really have the energy to move one last time before Happy Acres signs me in??
The bold part (above) is my experience too. I was just thinking about that. Sisters, friends have lived in the same place since 1960–1970. All in the same house they each got back then. I, on the other hand, have lived in something like 12 places in my lifetime, 3 of them different geographic locations. My H was always moving for a job, and I followed, with kids. So maybe that's part of my antsiness now. The longest I've ever stayed in one place was 13 years, at my previous house. Do I really have the energy to move one last time before Happy Acres signs me in??
Well, I've lived in over 35 homes in nine states and three other countries. One house that I only counted once I moved in and out of five times over the course of about 23 years. I certainly had a 2,000 mile move left in me when I retired. My "record" is the 11 years in our last home. In comparison, you're just getting warmed up. Go for it!
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