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I fell in my pool yesterday and bunged up my left leg as I hit the ledge. Sprains and contusions. I am now learning to deal with a splint and walker. Trying to figure out out to walk on one foot, use a walker, and carrying a cup of tea. Then there is the dilemma of elevating said foot while drinking a cuppa.
But I didn't hit my head, was in full possession of my faculties, and was able with some difficulty but was able to crawl into the house and rest until it was safe to take a hot shower. No shock, no blood, no cuts. It wasn't seizure or vertigo related, so yeah for that.
It was over ambitious me reaching too far out in the pool to clean it and I overbalanced. Then plop!
It could have been a lot worse and this misadventure gives me a chance to think and plan about how to live the rest of my life working around difficulties.
Kind of an exciting prospect and there are so many worse off.
So be strong, OP. All will be well in the end. And permission granted to laugh at my stupid storyette.
I was thinking about the stages of aging when watching the tributes to Patti Page last night. In her final years she looked dramatically different than she did at 20 and 30. Her voice was different, too. She may have mourned this, since it's human nature to think you are the most beautiful when you're young. But as an outside observer, I thought she looked better (and sounded better) in her later years. I never really liked her 1950s look, but preferred the way she aged.
At least she had the good grace to not get a lot of plastic surgery. If she had any, it looked mostly natural and suited an older woman.
I also think it's rarely too late to improve your health with exercise, diet, supplements, Yoga, music, creating art, laughter, good attitude, positive outlook, rest, relaxation, fun, vacations, hobbies, sun, dogs, volunteering, friends, hope, spiritual connection, inspiration of beauty and nature, learning something new, etc.
I swear Anifani is me...the best side of me, that is . We won't discuss the worse sides
One way to look at the bright side is that, despite getting older and having to deal with relatively minor aches, pains and disabilities, it's better than the alternative.
Sorry folks...placing this thread in retirement, as not just anyone will understand.
Like many of you, I was very healthy for most of my life... no major surgery, not even a fracture or hospitalization.
But NOW...
I am not here to whine but request suggestions on how to cope with this fact: our bodies begin to betray us...Pain, multiple medicines, aches, aging knees and teeth and eyes....and then memory issues...skin changes, feet with bunions or whatever....
How can I keep from feeling sad? I know to acknowledge that I FEEL sad about it, but still...the feeling remains....every day.
Would you please share your reactions to aging...
what you do to arrive at a more accepting attitude, a more peaceful place in your mind?
Thanks
I know exactly how you feel, even now at age 50. I developed sciatica all of a sudden a couple of weeks ago, after doing cardio to a program on Comcast on demand, even though it seemed fine as I was doing it, no twisting or anything. I have always been an exerciser and never had problems with my back. It manifested not only with pain when standing, but also I knew I was losing nerve innervation to my muscles as I couldn't life the right leg very high and it felt like it would give out on stairs.
On NYE, my bf and I went to First Night in Ocean City, which involves a lot of walking. I LOVE to walk, and is one of the primary reasons I love my city, as it's very self-contained and walkable. Now however I told my bf we needed to drive. I also couldn't dance, and felt like a cripple. I became sad watching people dance, and I thought, "this is what aging is - the things you love to do get taken away from you one by one until there's nothing left". It doesn't help that I work in an assisted living/nursing home, where I get told many times a week by the residents "don't get old"
I felt better when I went to my chiropractor (he was away for the holidays) and he made me feel it was very normal and very treatable. After 2 sessions I already feel much better, but hoping it holds as I leave for my first cruise later today.
I think it's really a matter of acceptance combined with not giving up (despite moments of sadness like NYE, I plan to go out fighting). Biggest message I think, is just be grateful for what we have today, in this moment. Think of those poor kids in CT who didn't get a chance to live past age 6 or 7 - makes it easy to see how lucky I've been.
I appreciate your understanding...problematic issues just show up seemingly from nowhere! Most of mine began around age 50!
Enjoy that cruise~
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
I know exactly how you feel, even now at age 50. I developed sciatica all of a sudden a couple of weeks ago, after doing cardio to a program on Comcast on demand, even though it seemed fine as I was doing it, no twisting or anything. I have always been an exerciser and never had problems with my back. It manifested not only with pain when standing, but also I knew I was losing nerve innervation to my muscles as I couldn't life the right leg very high and it felt like it would give out on stairs.
On NYE, my bf and I went to First Night in Ocean City, which involves a lot of walking. I LOVE to walk, and is one of the primary reasons I love my city, as it's very self-contained and walkable. Now however I told my bf we needed to drive. I also couldn't dance, and felt like a cripple. I became sad watching people dance, and I thought, "this is what aging is - the things you love to do get taken away from you one by one until there's nothing left". It doesn't help that I work in an assisted living/nursing home, where I get told many times a week by the residents "don't get old"
I felt better when I went to my chiropractor (he was away for the holidays) and he made me feel it was very normal and very treatable. After 2 sessions I already feel much better, but hoping it holds as I leave for my first cruise later today.
I think it's really a matter of acceptance combined with not giving up (despite moments of sadness like NYE, I plan to go out fighting). Biggest message I think, is just be grateful for what we have today, in this moment. Think of those poor kids in CT who didn't get a chance to live past age 6 or 7 - makes it easy to see how lucky I've been.
Find interest that engage you, and keep you from focusing excessively on yourself and the deterioration associated with aging.
Volunteer, get engaged in civic work, join a group that has activities, participate in assisting kids...
This works only if you are still able to drive. At some point, when you give up the car, you will just sit and sit and sit. You may NEVER accept it. But, that's the way it is. The only other way is to go to bed, pull the covers up over your head and just lay there until the end.
Sometimes I think that the lucky oldsters are the ones suffering from some sort of dementia. They don't have to accept how things have changed. They just live from day to day. Those last years are often very happy ones for them.......but they don't know that either!
This works only if you are still able to drive. At some point, when you give up the car, you will just sit and sit and sit. You may NEVER accept it. But, that's the way it is. The only other way is to go to bed, pull the covers up over your head and just lay there until the end.
I've always been a long range planner and so I have given thought to what I would do if I could no longer drive. I've made major long distance moves throughout my life and feel no particular emotional attachment to my current house.
If I could no longer drive, I'd choose to move into a seniors independent living facility which offered some recreational activities and transportation for grocery shopping, banking and possibly medical appointments and special outings. There might be some opportunities to volunteer there. There are certainly opportunities to volunteer online.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I would have developed hobbies and interests which I could pursue on my own (without driving).
I've also never been bored spending time on a computer, interacting with others, simply surfing and expanding my knowledge or working with software such as Photoshop.
I have battled the sags and bulges and wrinkles and -- in general -- have faced that deterioration is inevitable. If being graceful about aging means I look in the mirror and don't mind the changes, then I don't think I will make it to 80 graciously.
I have come to terms with doing all I can to alleviate the chronic pain issues -- from spa to tai chi to transcendental meditation -- and I am sure I will continue to use those tools and add many more to the "aging toolbox."
I am fully aware I need to lose some weight and I am fully aware that the chin is loosing its elasticity . . . but when I think of myself, I still see that lithe, sexy 38 year old in jeans and a red body-conforming T-neck. I envision gliding on the dance floor at a black tie event, feeling beautiful and being acknowledged by others as just that.
Then my reverie ends and I realize my right leg hurts all the way down to my toes, I am having a spasm in my rhomboid muscle, my roots are showing and my jeans are big enough for two small children to hide in (okay, I exaggerate, but some days it feels that way).
AND I FEEL SAD.
I meet new people and want to say . . . "Hi! I am Ani! I wish you could have met me when I was actually 'myself' and not now, when my physical presence no longer represents the REAL me."
But it is the real me. It may not be the me who exists in my brain . . . but take my fingerprints and a DNA sample . . . and sure 'nuff . . . this is ME.
So I have decided . . . the graceful part about aging is in balancing remembrance of things past with the reality of who we are now (and who we are yet to become). Life has brought me to this moment, to this place. And if I am given the gift of many more years, there are changes still on the horizon. The positive ones include wisdom and maturity; the negative include loss of stamina and changes in physical appearance.
I don't want to be thought of as a "fading beauty" or as "that eccentric character" down the street but I also don't want to be minimized, overlooked . . . and treated as irrelevant. That means I must bring something to the table . . .
For me, it all starts with a smile. That is one thing that time cannot change - the invitation of a smile. And I choose not to talk about the aches and pains . . . nothing ages a person more than the topics of their conversations!
I am choosing to reframe who I am . . . I would rather be known as the redhead who does yoga on her deck . . . who will teach you how to paint a landscape or glaze your kitchen cabinets. . . who will fix you herbal tea or the best dry martini around (your choice!) when you stop in to have a chat . . . who will encourage you when you are down.
I have decided that people don't really care what I look like as long as I am fun to be with. Yes, I have my preferences about how I like to present myself to the world, but I don't really have many options about that as I age. Make up and "shapers" can only alter so much . . . when we get to 75, we are going to look at least somewhat near our ages, despite cosmetic surgery, even.
So mourn the losses . . . the youth and beauty and for most of us -- the stamina and physical prowess -- are diminished. And then move past the sadness, because the wisdom we can share, the experience, the maturity, the calm reassurances . . . that is what age brings. And people will love us and want to spend time with us because we make the day a little brighter.
We learn to cope with the changes and we learn to teach by example that beauty really does come from within.
Once we master this, then I believe we will be able to say we are "aging gracefully." At least, that is what I am counting on!
What a beautiful post, and one that got me to thinking about people I know who are role models for how I hope to age. First on my list would be my aunt, who is in her mid 80's. She is such a vibrant woman with so many interests. She has a wonderful ability to draw people out, because she is genuinely interested in them and their life experiences.
I also take a current topics seminar, and quite a few of the people in it are older than me, but it doesn't bother me in the least, because they are all so interesting, and we have such wonderful discussions.
So I think the answer is to keep growing and maintain an interest in the world. Hopefully that will keep us from obsessing over the aches, pains and wrinkles of aging.
Easy for me to say this because I'm not dealing with a major health concern but when I'm all aches and pains, or I can't sleep, or I see another wrinkle, I am grateful for them. I am grateful that that's all I have on my plate right now. So long as I'm not battling for my life like some of my friends then I can be grateful that I'm still here and feeling the aches and burdens of aging.
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