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Sorry folks...placing this thread in retirement, as not just anyone will understand.
Like many of you, I was very healthy for most of my life... no major surgery, not even a fracture or hospitalization.
But NOW...
I am not here to whine but request suggestions on how to cope with this fact: our bodies begin to betray us...Pain, multiple medicines, aches, aging knees and teeth and eyes....and then memory issues...skin changes, feet with bunions or whatever....
How can I keep from feeling sad? I know to acknowledge that I FEEL sad about it, but still...the feeling remains....every day.
Would you please share your reactions to aging...
what you do to arrive at a more accepting attitude, a more peaceful place in your mind?
Thanks
I strongly urge you and others to consider Accupuncture and Chinese Medicine from a practitioner who understands and can help you in the use of your bodies CHI for mental, physical and spiritual healing and wealth maintenance. Certainly using a practitioner who is Chinese and has family still there and is in touch with all of the cultural ramifications of is most helpful.
Knowing when and how to take what I call a healing nap is priceless. In fact I have Accupuncture treatment in a couple of hours and will be really chilled out the rest of the day.
Some would say spirituality is personal and differs with and for the individual. Others would say that there is a common bond to the spirituality of various practitioners around the world some conscious and some not. Ever notice how many people face their palms away from their bodies when trying to get in touch with their spiritual self? Whether it be raising your palms up ward or outward it is often done. Yes what I am saying is personal but it is my response to your question about handling aging. Aspirational music even if with out words is key to many as there is music that heals with or without verse.
Sometimes I think the previous generations - our parents, our grandparents - took aging and its ills in stride better than we the boomers are.Perhaps because we were never supposed to grow old! We were always in our twenties and thirties, forever. Till we hit 40, and then....50....and how is this possible, 60 and 65.... Perhaps we are not as in touch with reality as were our parents and grandparents? Perhaps they felt the same way but didn't show it and we were in our own world and didn't notice - just assumed that they were "aging gracefully"?
Growing old in contemporary America is hard. We don't seem to have the "extended family" or the social structure to support aging. A single senior center in a town doesn't cut it. And the costs of medical care and coverage are enough to depress anyone especially as the future of this is so uncertain.
One of my antidotes is opening up and talking to sisters and a few trusted friends about these kinds of feelings. We need someone we can gripe to, as long as we finish it off with a good laugh and a cup of coffee or glass of wine. I think the French generally age well, as they seem to have some kind of cultural philosophy. I think I'll nurture my French side for a while.
i agree with your conclusions, NEg; i do feel the boomers never thought they would grow old, if they exercised enough, ate a healthy diet, and kept busy. and some boomers will probably age very well because of these habits, but many, in spite of what they do, will have chronic, nagging problems of aging. of course our parents didn't live as long; many didn't live long enough to develop these issues or, their expectations for aging were different.
my aunt, with whom i lived, died at 71 and my mother died at 86, after breaking her hip twice, having a mild heart attack in her seventies, and generally being at death's door at least twice in her fifties and sixties. another aunt, who was in the household where i grew up, lived in good health until 3 months before she died at 86, following complications from a broken hip. however this aunt had a "created family" of support, and without it would not have done as well.
i don't know the answer to this dilemma, and it is one that concerns many aging boomers. it is a topic we often discussed in a course i taught on" women in their sixties redefining aging". i do think that one must have, invent and maintain, or buy, if need be, a support system that works for them. it cannot dispel the problems of aging but i do think such a support system can make the aging journey a little easier to navigate.
As an example, I have no nuclear or extended family left. Just me now. It seems when I attempt to discuss with friends though, they tend to change the subject or brush it off and they are older than I...
The health issues are most bothersome....not just aging....you can age without having some of the more worrisome health problems, if you are lucky.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl
Sometimes I think the previous generations - our parents, our grandparents - took aging and its ills in stride better than we the boomers are.Perhaps because we were never supposed to grow old! We were always in our twenties and thirties, forever. Till we hit 40, and then....50....and how is this possible, 60 and 65.... Perhaps we are not as in touch with reality as were our parents and grandparents? Perhaps they felt the same way but didn't show it and we were in our own world and didn't notice - just assumed that they were "aging gracefully"?
Growing old in contemporary America is hard. We don't seem to have the "extended family" or the social structure to support aging. A single senior center in a town doesn't cut it. And the costs of medical care and coverage are enough to depress anyone especially as the future of this is so uncertain.
One of my antidotes is opening up and talking to sisters and a few trusted friends about these kinds of feelings. We need someone we can gripe to, as long as we finish it off with a good laugh and a cup of coffee or glass of wine. I think the French generally age well, as they seem to have some kind of cultural philosophy. I think I'll nurture my French side for a while.
I do use, and very much benefit, from that type of music...as well as other types. The radio programs of Hearts of Space etc are particularly soothing.
Can't say I have thought of using Chinese medicine though I am very aware of the teachings etc...might check into that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TuborgP
I strongly urge you and others to consider Accupuncture and Chinese Medicine from a practitioner who understands and can help you in the use of your bodies CHI for mental, physical and spiritual healing and wealth maintenance. Certainly using a practitioner who is Chinese and has family still there and is in touch with all of the cultural ramifications of is most helpful.
Knowing when and how to take what I call a healing nap is priceless. In fact I have Accupuncture treatment in a couple of hours and will be really chilled out the rest of the day.
Some would say spirituality is personal and differs with and for the individual. Others would say that there is a common bond to the spirituality of various practitioners around the world some conscious and some not. Ever notice how many people face their palms away from their bodies when trying to get in touch with their spiritual self? Whether it be raising your palms up ward or outward it is often done. Yes what I am saying is personal but it is my response to your question about handling aging. Aspirational music even if with out words is key to many as there is music that heals with or without verse.
Everyone's process is different . . . I would recommend doing some kind of art project to work through your feelings . . .I personally don't feel it is healthy to dwell on it and maybe that is what your friends are relating to . . .but you don't want to deny or stuff your feelings either - so the thing to do is to FEEL them, and then let them go . . .I find art a great way of working through such issues.
I like the process of collage - having the intention to create something that will inform you of what you need to know about this process -then tearing pictures out of magazines that have a strong pull (no thinking), then arranging the pulled pics into a collage . . .it's fun and it helps me work through things and have something inspirational or informative to look at.
My mother moved into a supportive housing situation three years ago and meeting the residents there has been a real eye opener in terms of the kinds of issues I could encounter down the line. There are some things about aging I can't change but there are other things I can do to improve quality of life.
- I observed that most residents, although they had family, didn't seem to have old friends i.e. they had outlived them. Except for the occasional knitter, they rarely had any hobbies to keep themselves entertained. Thus they seemed completely bored for most of the day when there were no organized activities taking place. I realized that it was important to develop some personal hobbies/interests NOW that could continue in future, independent of residence, family and friendships. This thought resulted in my becoming involved in genealogy and developing my family tree. I'm actively looking to develop other hobbies (I tried photography but it's not for me).
- I do think it is very important to keep the mind well-exercised - if you don't use it, you lose it. So, I started playing duplicate (competitive) bridge at a couple of local bridge clubs, after not playing bridge since I was in my early 30s. Being a good bridge player requires a lot of analytical skill and a very good memory. My card memory, after playing a hand, went from 0% to about 60% after about 6 months of playing and has improved further since then. It's nice to be in a competitive environment again too. It encourages me to improve.
You may already be doing these things...but if not:
Yoga--it not only keeps your spine flexible and stretches, lubricates and tones your muscles and joints to keep you supple, but it also helps balance hormones--which can lift your spirits.
Supplements--have you had a blood work-out to assess your vitamin D and other minerals? A shortage of Vitamin D and a shortage of B vitamins can lead to sadness.
Hang out with those younger than you. My friends include those 15 years younger than me...it's great to be with folks who aren't as into "organ recitals" as we oldsters can be--they tend to have fewer health problems.
Join a gym and find a cool trainer. Make a vow to be the best (fill in your age here) you can possibly be. A lot of my aches and pains disappeared when I started a serious work-out routine. I go to the gym 5-6 times a week. It makes me relaxed and I sleep a whole lot better.
Humor. When's the last time you chad a great belly laugh? Humor works wonders. We just viewed the new Three Stooges--it contained a goodly share of belly laughs for us.
Don't look too closely in the mirror. I don't obsess about my wrinkles and imperfections. I do my short beauty routine and get going. A smile makes me more attractive than any lotion or potion.
Buy new underwear. Ratty old underwear gets me down. Pretty new things give me a lift...go buy something sexy in your favorite colors--it'll make you feel more perky! Best to avoid the thongs, though--they merely make me squirmy--not perky!!
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