Being A Homebody: Okay or Pathological? (adult, wife, travel, school)
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Even though some folks could think your retirement lifestyle is weird..........it is NOT! Wife/I, in our mid 60's are a "people" type couple and would love to travel much more than we are able to, but finances, and my wife's full-time job, doesn't allow that right now. My wife has been to places, like Niagara Falls and Washington D.C., that I haven't been to and would love to see. She's been to Paris and "oh YES", would love to go there!
Because we have a 20' Power Boat, some folks think we are rich, BUT the boat is a 1992, not a 2014! People use their money for different reasons and both of us grew up with "boating" and wanted a boat. We love slot machine gambling, while our friends/family think it's ridiculous and throwing money away. That's their feelings, not ours. We have a limit to what we gamble and generally don't have to worry about it b/c I have pretty good luck either winning some or coming out even.
There are things in life that people have/do that others think as "weird". Example: Somebody driving a new Jag and living in a average apartment complex. People "think" a person w/a Jag would be living in a very upscale neighborhood in a very nice/modern house. Beach property would be in that category.
A lot of Seniors, in good health, have motorhomes and travel. We see them all the time on the freeways here in Florida. Then again, there are Seniors that don't want the expense of motorhome, even though they could afford one and those who just plainly can't afford one. But, it is the "norm" to see Seniors w/motorhomes traveling.
I love Classic Rock (Styx, Heart, ZZ Top, Foreigner and the list goes on). Have cd music and dvd concerts. A lot of folks in our bracket don't like that loud stuff. That's fine, but sure doesn't mean I'm going to stop listening to it.
The point is............people are going to think, and possible say, what they think others should be doing with their lives. It's hard not to get upset over this, but. When a lot of people think of the words "Seniors/Retirement" they pretty much think about things that can be done NOW, that couldn't be done on a week or two of vacation during those employment years. You know: travel, staying up late, sleeping in, playing golf whenever, sitting & reading a good book any number of things that there seemed to be no time for during the employment years.
My wife and I are early retirees, and we do love to travel - internationally more so than in the US - but we are not big socializers and otherwise like to keep to ourselves. So kind of a split personality.
Travel costs a lot of $, though. But we try to have at least one big trip per year...
Almost everyone seems to equate retirement with travel. They seem disappointed when they ask about my travel plans and I explain that I don't travel. DH and I have traveled to a number of domestic and foreign cities in the past, each for a week. Never really enjoyed it all that much. By the fourth day I was itching to come home.
Mostly we have done city sight-seeing vacations and I've never loved the tourist thing. No city lived up to my expectations. The planning was more fun than the reality. On the couple of times we have done relaxing vacations like cruises or resorts I was bored with that as well.
We aren't great sleepers and prefer our own bed. Eating away from home can be a problem for us (whole foods plant-based). And we'd miss our cat terribly and she would miss us.
A new friend invited us for a weekend in a mountain cabin they are renting. Don't like long car trips. Again, eating would be a problem. And as introverts we like to be with people for just a few hours and go home, not be with them for 48 hours. I feel horrible about declining the invitation, but I really don't think I want to go.
We aren't hermits. We go out every day to the gym, which we love. We socialize numerous times each week. We love our life and don't want to escape from it, even for a weekend.
Is this pathological----or just a difference in preferences, even though easily 95% of the population wants to travel and get away?
There is nothing wrong with your life and life style as long as you are happy. Yes, it is a little different because in today's world most people, who can afford to see the world want to do as much as they can while they are still able. This doesn't mean you need to follow along.
Now as for not going with your friends for a weekend, I do think it sounds a little different but again, only you know how you feel about this. Some people are just not very social, others are only happy when they are with others, neither is right or wrong.
I can relate. Our cat turns 17 y.o. next month, and leaving him alone at home was one of my biggest retirement worries. Luckily we found (referral from our vet) the cat-sitter from heaven. She's a trained, experienced vet tech who comes to our house once a day while we're gone and medicates/pampers our pet. Charges $18 a day and worth every penny. We just recently returned from a 3-week trip, and he was overjoyed to see us but otherwise mellow and contented. She also waters indoor and outdoor plants, brings in the paper/mail and makes sure all is ok with the house.
sounds like my hubby> He has a small pet sitting business and does about the same. He loves all animals, has a great repore with them and they like him. He too brings in mail, papers whatever and waters the plants. In fact watering the plants can be his biggest concern; he isn't really into plant care, but he manages. Once he even had to care for a wonderful dog that did pass away while the owners were gone. I don't know if it was harder for him or the owners. Now they have a couple of new dogs that he sits for.
Yes, a good pet sitter can be the answer. As he says, the animals are happier at home than in a kennel usually. For those who want to go this route, talk to your vet or even neighbors. Usually you can find someone that is dependable and caring.
Perhaps I would have better off going to China. As I said, it was chosen because I got a deal on it. And I wasn't ignorant about it. Of course I knew about its ties with China (it wasn't under China at the time, though). I don't get what you mean. I didn't expect to see people doing ancient Chinese folk dancing when I stepped off the plane. But I did expect/hope it would be different than NY....or what would be the point of going? Maybe it's just me, but guide books make a place sound so interesting....but often the reality of something isn't so interesting.
I do not wish to make this thread about travel since that's not why you started it. But given that I am an avid and a passionate traveler (and have visited Hong Kong), I can assure you that relying solely on a guide book for attractions is like getting just one-person's view. I refer to several Web sites where users review attractions/hotels/restaurants/neighborhoods/etc. and then it's up to me to decide on the veracity and what interests me.
As for your expectation about HK being different from NY, why did you have that expectation in the first place? HK's skyline (when seen from Victoria peak or Central or Tsim Sha Tsui) is supposed to be the among the most scenic skylines in the world. And there are other neighborhoods and islands in HK devoid of high-rise buildings where you can experience a different lifestyle.
Anyway, I do apologize if my reply was a little harsh. But if you ever plan to travel and have a place in mind, please PM me. I will be more than glad to help out with the itinerary so you have a great time. No, I'm not a travel agent; just a poster who just loves to travel the world.
The California I moved to twenty years ago no longer exists so we decided it is time to leave. Now, that DH has been retired for nearly a year, I still can't get him to visit new places to find our last home. As an old lady, I don't feel comfortable traveling alone and most of the people I once knew have either died, or already left the state, so I don't really have anyone to travel with. I envy those of you who have a spouse who is like minded as it makes either staying home, or traveling, so much easier but for now I do what I can to keep the peace.
Almost everyone seems to equate retirement with travel. They seem disappointed when they ask about my travel plans and I explain that I don't travel. DH and I have traveled to a number of domestic and foreign cities in the past, each for a week. Never really enjoyed it all that much. By the fourth day I was itching to come home.
Mostly we have done city sight-seeing vacations and I've never loved the tourist thing. No city lived up to my expectations. The planning was more fun than the reality. On the couple of times we have done relaxing vacations like cruises or resorts I was bored with that as well.
We aren't great sleepers and prefer our own bed. Eating away from home can be a problem for us (whole foods plant-based). And we'd miss our cat terribly and she would miss us.
A new friend invited us for a weekend in a mountain cabin they are renting. Don't like long car trips. Again, eating would be a problem. And as introverts we like to be with people for just a few hours and go home, not be with them for 48 hours. I feel horrible about declining the invitation, but I really don't think I want to go.
We aren't hermits. We go out every day to the gym, which we love. We socialize numerous times each week. We love our life and don't want to escape from it, even for a weekend.
Is this pathological----or just a difference in preferences, even though easily 95% of the population wants to travel and get away?
Jazzcat, I see two problems here. First, your new "friend" (and I use that term loosely) is ignoring what IS in favor of what she thinks SHOULD BE. Your friend thinks you should come visit her in her mountain cabin, and she doesn't care about your reality, which is that you don't like to travel overnight.
In a later post in this thread you say that your friend didn't accept your declining her invitation graciously, and she thought you should come up for at least one night, despite your having told her you didn't want to do that. That's why I use the term "friend" loosely to describe this person. In fact, she is no friend to you. If she were a true friend, while she might not understand your preferences, she certainly wouldn't criticize them or try to get you to abandon them.
The second problem is your apparent need to apologize for your preferences. Just thinking that your preference for staying at home might be "pathological" gives me the impression you feel you must justify your feelings. You do not. You like what you like, and as long as you're not causing harm to someone else, you don't have to change what you like, and you don't have to explain it to anyone else -- including other posters on this board.
You don't have to explain to your not-really-friend why you don't want to stay over at their cabin, and you certainly don't have to make up phony excuses about it. You just say, "Thanks for the invitation, but we don't like to travel overnight." End of chat.
Wouldn't you have been better off going to China? Did you read about Hong Kong (before visiting) and its ties with China? The cultural, traditional, language implications, etc? It irks me when people make such silly arguments primarily due to their ignorance! What you have written is very similar to tourists that visit India and expect to see snake charmers, cows and elephants right from the minute they step off the plane!!
I too am very much a homebody. I did all my traveling (and a LOT of it too!) when I was in my twenties, thirties and forties. I had the funds, the health, the patience and the stamina back then; no major eating or sleeping problems either. Can't say any of that now, LOL
Air travel used to be a lot easier before 9/11. I simply will not deal with all the current (*&&$#@ that is now involved.
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