The OP asked: "Have any of your dreams changed? Something you thought you really wanted, didn't get, now settle for other."
My answer is a big
NO.
I have wishes and goals but never dreams. My personal definition of dream is something fanciful, unrealistic, not attainable - the bolded words in the dictionary definition below
definition of dream
1 :
a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep had a dream about climbing a mountain gives me bad dreams — compare rem sleep
2 :
an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream: such as
a :
a visionary (see 1visionary 2a) creation of the imagination : daydream the dreams of her youth[b]
b :
a state of mind marked by abstraction or release from reality : reverie walking around in a dream
c : an object seen in a dreamlike state : vision a man that was her dream come true
3 : something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality - the new car is a dream to operate
4 a : a strongly desired goal or purpose- a dream of becoming president
b : something that fully satisfies a wish : ideal a meal that was a gourmet's dream
I remember the OP had cited the phrase "if you want the ocean don't settle for the stream" heard from an inspirational speaker. IMO, if this 'want' is attainable with some efforts, it is a goal. If it is unrealistic, unattainable then it is a dream.
I don't like the term 'settle' because of the connotation of being unfulfilled and disappointed. Bottom line is that I have never followed the above advice!
I am an optimistic person and can state that throughout my life, I pretty much get what I had wished or wanted. My wishes, wants or goals have always been attainable for two reasons. First, I never wish or set any lofty, unreachable goals way beyond my capabilities, efforts and means. Secondly, I make efforts to achieve my goals but constantly assess the situation to make appropriate changes (both downscaling and upscaling). Since I never felt that I had 'settled' for something less, I always feel fulfilled, contented and satisfied. So since all my wishes have always been fulfilled, one can say that I have attained my 'dreams' as per 4b definition. However, I have never considered any of my 'rubberband' wishes as dreams ;-)
Each person is different. If I was the OP who had always dreamed of living near the oceans or lakes and to travel but thought those dreams are now way beyond her financial means and physical abilities, here is what I would do:
1. Scale down the 'dreams', wishes or goals.
- Instead of living by the oceans or lakes, how about just take a vacation at a place with ocean or lake front?
- Instead of travel coast-to-coast or to a far flung destination requiring flying (which she does not want to do) or long distance driving (expensive and could be too much for a senior woman), how about just to take mini vacations, driving to nearby parks, lakes and staying there for a short time.
I believe that the OP lives in upstate NY in the Finger Lakes region. There are many beautiful lakes and parks to explore. I just did a quick check for lake vacation rental and found this one for $100/night.
https://www.vrbo.com/617759
2. Find ways to achieve your scaled down dreams, wishes or goals.
Let's say if I was in the OP's situation and wanted to vacation at the above cottage but thought that $100/night minimum 2 nights was too much. Here is what I would do
- Try to find a travel mate to share the cost.
- Try to put aside a bit of money here and there towards the goal such as substituting a banana or a fruit for ice cream for dessert, cancelling or scaling down cost of subscriptions, postponing buying some items etc.
3. Never think of scaling down or making necessary adjustments as 'settling for something less'. Think of the glasses are half full and not half empty. This is the secret of my contentment or 'life success'.
Again, these are the things that I would do and not what I suggest the OP or others to do.
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