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^^Animals are humanely euthanized, but humans aren’t. Go figure.
The term “assisted-living” is fairly new. People used to be put in “nursing homes”, but I think that has such a negative connotation that they changed the term to “assisted-living” to make the situation easier to swallow. (The commercials show old people having all sorts of fun to entice them to accept that’s where they are going, and to make the children feel less guilty for putting someone there.)
Location: When things get hot they expand. Im not fat. Im hot.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinbrookNine
With "fur babies" being the new in thing, I suppose this issue will be addressed in a few decades.
I'm literally "the last man standing." No kids, avoided the altar (and divorce courts) all my nuclear family is gone (years ago), all the friends I cared to spend time with all those years are dead. It's just me. In my 70's I still get around but the last 5 - 10 years not much interested in socializing anymore. The few remaining "friends" I've had ironically, are the ones I routinely avoided. Furthermore, I am not interested in some stranger tending me. A twice monthly house cleaning lady is all I want - mostly just to discover my body - worked well for my neighbor..
My biggest fear is my body outliving my mind. That happens a lot now that people live longer than they used to. That should worry everybody.
I wonder which one of us is the evil twin. I am also the last one standing. Only child. No kids. Outlived all my family and friends. I did have a husband for 51 years. Im in my 70's too. I will be 74 on my BD. Its just me and the cats now.
I am the house cleaning lady. I still clean twice a month. They would probably check if I didnt show up. Not much interested in socializing anymore either. I think Im turning feral.
As far as being tended to in my old age Im working on it. Hopefully it will be a while. If not. I will deal with it when it gets here.
How can you view another human being as your own personal servant? The whole concept just alludes me.
Personal service was the norm for the upper middle class and above, as recently as the early 20th century. WW2 changed all that, especially in Europe. The relatively well-to-do wouldn't need assisted living, because they had live-in assistance. Today, with the higher cost of labor, such an arrangement would be considered to be a luxury, except in countries where menial labor remains cheap, such as India. Those of a particular political bent - I need not be explicit here - may wish to consider their position, in light of desirability of low(ish) cost live-in care, in the coming decades.
More broadly, money can and does replace the various bonds of affection, whether for young people bemoaning the lack of company, or elderly people requiring company of an alternative, and no less intimate nature. Thus the trite but true answer, to the thematic question of this thread, is that lacking progeny with fidelity, one as to rely on one's account with Fidelity.
^^Animals are humanely euthanized, but humans aren’t. Go figure.
The term “assisted-living” is fairly new. People used to be put in “nursing homes”, but I think that has such a negative connotation that they changed the term to “assisted-living” to make the situation easier to swallow. (The commercials show old people having all sorts of fun to entice them to accept that’s where they are going, and to make the children feel less guilty for putting someone there.)
The assisted living places I've been to are like luxury hotels. I went to a senior expo once where they had all the chefs from the areas assisted living places giving samples of their food. Most have a choice of 3 or 4 entrees for each meal.
The people I know that live in assisted living love it!
The assisted living places I've been to are like luxury hotels. I went to a senior expo once where they had all the chefs from the areas assisted living places giving samples of their food. Most have a choice of 3 or 4 entrees for each meal.
The people I know that live in assisted living love it!
There are some really well run, very nice assisted living places. The residents enjoy activities, social activities, outings, entertainment, having meals prepared for them and they have the ability to go to their own individual apartments when they need a little quiet time.
There are some really well run, very nice assisted living places. The residents enjoy activities, social activities, outings, entertainment, having meals prepared for them and they have the ability to go to their own individual apartments when they need a little quiet time.
The assisted living places I've been to are like luxury hotels. I went to a senior expo once where they had all the chefs from the areas assisted living places giving samples of their food. Most have a choice of 3 or 4 entrees for each meal.
The people I know that live in assisted living love it!
When we first started looking for assisted living for my mom we had no idea about the variety of types and facilities that were available. Much to our surprise we found some really nice places and good options. But there were also some horror shows (suggested by A Place for Mom). The one I favored was a rental apartment will all the assisted living services available ala-carte. But there was no associated memory care or skilled nursing. At the time I didn't know that is what I should have looked for.
My mom chose a very upscale looking place that happened to be the closest one to her apartment. She wanted to continue with the home health aide I had hired but that wasn't financially practical or possible based on the amount of oversight it would require.
The chosen place had regular assisted living on the main floor and the higher levels of care were on the upper floor. Because she used to be a nurse she found herself helping out her next door neighbor, who was in a wheelchair, quite a bit. The care at this facility was lacking in many areas. But she was fully mobile and really only needed the 3 meals, help with showers and medication management so the lack of care didn't impact her too much.
She thought she could continue to attend her church and people would visit. No one ever visited (not even the pastor) and the church made no arrangements to pick her up for services. So much for being in the choir, on the bell ringing team and all the volunteer activities she had done fixing books, hymnals and their archives.
She had always said she would rather die than go into a facility. She was a nurse who used to work at assisted living facilities and did home health care visits. She also managed staff in both places. Her plan was to go off into the woods and die when the time came.
I think by the time someone needs assisted living they often have been living so poorly, poor diet, clutter building up, not able to take care of basic needs etc that they often are delighted to be in a place with good regular meals and others to socialize with.
She wasn't thrilled with assisted living but she loved being able to order bacon for breakfast every morning. I think she also really enjoyed knowing that there were people there to help her if she needed it and she wasn't alone in her apartment. Then came Covid and she said she wanted to die when the disease was so painful. She now couldn't walk and needed a wheelchair. Prior to Covid she wasn't even using a cane.
Due to the poor care at the first facility when she wasn't mobile, we decided to move her. The new place is where she is now. She initially entered the assisted living but was re-categorized to memory care after a while.
When I told her of the memory care facility I described how each day would go since she would be brought out of the room for meals and to spend the day in the common room with the other residents. I thought I would get alot of push back as she never liked to socialize with the seniors at her senior apartment building. Surprisingly she expressed delight with being with other people. Covid had caused her to be isolated alot in her room in assisted living.
She also had a strong will to live as evidenced when we asked her if she wanted to go on a ventilator if needed when she had covid. We thought she would say no due to her earlier stance against facility living and her DNR. Surprisingly she said yes.
Currently she seems quite content and happy with her circumstances and we are happy with the care. When I have been able to visit I have walked in on activity staff telling a story, activity staff guiding a sing-a-long, musical instruments being played, meals, parties (they have a party for every holiday imaginable), and balloon volleyball. I have also missed her because she was out on a bus sightseeing trip. I have also heard about her success with bowling (Once when they were telling me she fell with bowling and needed to sit for it from now on she chimed in with, but I got a strike! And had a delighted grin on her face). Also I see alot of arts and crafts projects in her room.
For us the facility has been a godsend. So much better than seeing her decay away in her apartment, refusing to admit family and hiding the way she was living due to her health deteriorating.
But to the original topic, she couldn't have gotten there on her own. It took 2 of her kids, my husband and her brother to manage her care in the short term (Can't imagine why the hospital released her back to her apartment where she lived by herself in the shape she was in after a stroke), find the facility, fill out all the forms and get her moved. If she had been without relatives and her Sr. apt building had to call the state then who knows where she would have ended up. When we cleaned out the place we found multiple recent notices to clean the place up or face eviction.
Mic111, glad that your mom is thriving. I don’t know that I ever could in a facility, but good that some people do. At 69, I hope I am a long way off from needing off. I can’t imagine what they will be like in twenty years, what with staffing shortages and not enough people to afford such places.
I am not surprised that A Place for Mom recommended horrible places. When I first heard about it, thought it sounded like a great service. Then I learned more. I would rather pay for a geriatric manager a fee for service for unbiased recommendations versus get free recommendations where their sole criteria is recommending facilities that gave them the highest commission while ignoring those that don’t pay a kickback.
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I am also the last one standing. Only child. No kids. Outlived all my family and friends. I did have a husband for 51 years. Im in my 70's too. I will be 74 on my BD. Its just me and the cats now. 
