I just don't fit in San Antonio. (Houston: house, YMCA)

[SweethomeSanAntonio]

Originally Posted by zhugeliang1

Dude I totally understand. Seems like those who fit in here are the military, medical, or Mexican. Houston is awesome for those of us (like me and maybe you) who aren't into the three M's of San Antonio.

Hah, what is a medical? And Houston is about 40% Hispanic, Austin is about 35%. S.A. is a little over half.

[SweethomeSanAntonio]

Originally Posted by djhirokun

I've been here for 4 years because of family. Getting ready to move out to Vegas. When asked why I don't like it here, I mention that I don't like Mexican food or the abundance supply of Spurs bootleg merchandise. I get so many odd looks. If you don't like either one of those two, people seem to shun you. I know I've had it happen to me at my current job. There's got to be more to San Antonio that just that.

I seriously doubt people here care about what food you prefer or if you are a sports fan. Possibly during the NBA playoffs if anything, but the same would apply to any NBA city during the playoffs.

[beaste]

I don't just want to meet blacks. I just want to be in a place where I'm accepted for me. If I was 17 or something I would spend time on trying to impress people but not at 30.

[jgn2013]

Originally Posted by beaste

I know I will get flamed but I'm just being frank here with my experiences.

I've lived in other states and moved to Texas for my career. Texas has been great for my career but in terms of building a social circle I just don't fit here. Sure I will say people here are extremely friendly but it only extends to that.

People will exchange pleasantries but it ends there. I feel people have been nice because they are expected to. I am a black male in my early 30s, single, in great shape and health, well off in my career and I'm having issues with dating. It seems that if you're not white or Mexican good luck.

Also I'd probably to be considered more on the preppy side but I've heard some comments from Hispanics here that I'm uppity or whatever. I've had friends talk behind my back. Dating a Hispanic girl I had a female friend (also Hispanic) talk behind my back about me to her unprovoked.

I could be exaggerating things and maybe I'm hanging out at the wrong spots. I am thankful for my career here but I'm getting a disenchanted by San Antonio overall recently. I feel like I need a change of scenery or somewhere more metropolitan.

Are you open to dating black women, or just non-black women?

IMO, black men have more of an uphill struggle dating in cities with mostly white and Latino's (and a small black populace). While there's tension between white and brown, they intermarry at some of the highest rates.

You end up being the third wheel. Dallas and Houston have significant populations of each group, and I'd imagine that the dating would be easier. A preppy-type hipster black man won't fit in a city like S.A. You have to go where (single) urban professionals of all races flock.

[Merovee]

Would love to make friends here on my side of town. Attempting to find peers who see the world as we do, that is having modest means but finding old money sensibilities appealing.

We very much like our own ethnic cuisine but it is in no way something we place on a pedestal and demand others do. No love for the Spurs or their typical fans. No love for the Beat, KZEP or KISS.

Any couples from the Southeast side who likes cycling, chess, classic board games, independent movies and music, quirky sitcoms, John Hughes films and New Wave from the 1970/80s? I am sure as we age more we will find what we need and it will have nothing to do with any preformulated list but there is always hope.

What is definite and most logical is that our future friends will be of similar sensibilities and social class. That makes for the most intimate connections.

Not really looking here again for a Southside meet and greet after my last attempt but just wanted others who are struggling similarly to know they are not alone and we are from here. No plans, means, or reason to move. Just hold on or move away if you can is my advice and you will find your own kind and acceptance from others eventually. Good luck!

I like Adam & the Amethysts' song Prophecy.

~prophecy, show these friends to me
they say
try not to get worried
try not to turn onto
problems that upset you~

ADAM & THE AMETHYSTS - Prophecy on Vimeo

[Chaka]

Originally Posted by beaste

Closer to my job, but I don't mind going downtown.

Thanks for this.



I lift weights but I also do MMA so I know a few people in that social circle, but those groups are different ya know.

Are you willing to try anything else? Rec league team sports are a great way to meet people.

On the other point - For example, I'm on a neighborhood chat group. I didn't know ALL my neighbors before, but met some that way. Recently someone set up a Men's book club through that group and more people met each other and have become friends.

[beaste]

Originally Posted by jgn2013

Are you open to dating black women, or just non-black women?

IMO, black men have more of an uphill struggle dating in cities with mostly white and Latino's (and a small black populace). While there's tension between white and brown, they intermarry at some of the highest rates.

You end up being the third wheel. Dallas and Houston have significant populations of each group, and I'd imagine that the dating would be easier. A preppy-type hipster black man won't fit in a city like S.A. You have to go where (single) urban professionals of all races flock.

I've dated black, white, Hispanic but would date whoever. I just grew around areas where there were mostly whites and even some where I was the only minority so of course that would influence who I date.

I've had some Hispanic women approach me and of course who share the attitude that blacks are all bad or something. I has a coworker that claims she only dates white guys. Of course I've had a bit of racism thrown at me and considering how I carry myself and how they carry themselves I find it laughable.

I've been to Dallas but haven't hung out there to make a good assessment. Neither Houston. Thanks!

[beaste]

Originally Posted by Chaka

Are you willing to try anything else? Rec league team sports are a great way to meet people.

On the other point - For example, I'm on a neighborhood chat group. I didn't know ALL my neighbors before, but met some that way. Recently someone set up a Men's book club through that group and more people met each other and have become friends.

Sure I just need to fit it in my schedule and make time to actually meet people. Part of my time living here I've consumed myself with keeping busy, especially after my break up my long distance ex. Now I have to pretty much stand on my own two feet.

Also I thought the three M's were military, married, and Mexican lol. That's something else here. I stand our being 30 and single. I have been asked things from am I divorced to am I gay for being single with no kids or anything.

[Chaka]

Originally Posted by beaste

Also I thought the three M's were military, married, and Mexican lol. That's something else here. I stand our being 30 and single. I have been asked things from am I divorced to am I gay for being single with no kids or anything.

While it's definitely true that people in texas marry young, and that was my first impression upon moving here, I was a single 30-something when I moved here. A few of my new friends were younger (mid-20s) but it didn't take that long to meet other 30-something single professionals. Indeed, since I tended to mostly interact with other educated professionals (that's just whom I was most likely to meet), I was definitely not the odd one. Most were well educated single 30-somethings (some gay, but single there too). Now most of my social circle are married (ranging in age from late 20s to mid 50s, and some gay marrieds), but that's just the stage of life I'm in so not surprising that would also be my current circle.

My point is that while what you say is not wrong, it doesn't need to be the reality.

if the city isn't for you, it's not. And I won't try to change your mind on that. But if moving elsewhere isn't a viable option, then there are ways to make it work for you. You can create your own reality. Join meet-up groups, get active in sporting groups, move to an area of town that has more of the type of people you want to me (don't just visit from time to time), be a part of the community. There are a gazillion community events in SA, particularly related to the arts but there are others, join them. Don't just attend, become an active participant and organizer. You don't have to love SA, but if you can't leave it, embrace it for your own sanity. I can't guarantee you'll meet your one true love, but if you put yourself out there, you'll meet people, eventually some of them will become close friends, and possibly one something more.

[justiciability]

Originally Posted by beaste

closer to my job, but i don't mind going downtown.

Thanks for this.



I lift weights but i also do mma so i know a few people in that social circle, but those groups are different ya know.

lol!