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Lets say you already got them a present off the registry for the bridal shower... would you get them another gift for the wedding? Or just money (and if so, how much)?
Bridal shower gifts should typically be less substantial than wedding gifts, so unless the couple had some small stuff on the registry, I wouldn't get them a registry gift for a shower. I'd get them something small & appropriate to the shower theme.
However, if I did get them a small registry gift, for a wedding gift I would probably select something larger off the registry or another larger gift of my choosing.
Why wouldn't you feel thusly inclined to use the registry? So instead of giving a gift that the couple wants or needs, you would give them a different gift that also has to be used on a certain day, a day that they may have already made plans.
Maybe there's nothing on it that I can afford. Maybe I only buy from socially responsible companies. Maybe I just hate everything on the registry. There is no obligation to buy from a registry.
And OF COURSE I wouldn't give them tickets to a specific day/time event. You do realize you can purchase gift certificates at box offices, right? Or a mini-pack of season tickets?
Well I disagree that that should make the giver feel bad. It is a statement of fact. If they don't know you can't eat it, on a future occasion they might offer you something which you also can't eat and it will be a waste of their money. It's quite over sensitive to consider it rude to inform people you have a condition that means you can't eat it. There is a way to let somebody know the truth without being rude, and you can still be thankful to them, no problem. I just think honesty is the best policy. It could be just a culture thing as you say then, because at least over here we tend to be more upfront about these things and people don't get offended by it or not in my experience. People are quite self deprecating in England anyway.
Well you can inform at a separate time, apart from the thank you or any discussion of the gift.
IMO, that is still pretty rude. Maybe it's because I'm Southern, but even if you can't eat it, just smile and say thank you. No need to make the gift giver feel bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
I remember being taught that from a very young age. My mother always told me to say thank you, because it was nice of someone to buy me a gift. It was never appropriate to tell the giver that you didn't like it, or if you already had one of what they bought, because no one had to buy me anything.
Yup! Agreed.
I've received food gifts before that I couldn't or wouldn't eat, but I never complained to the giver about it. In some instances I re-gifted the items or gave them away to friends/family, in others I donated the items to a local food pantry. No need to be sniffy or rude about it, just say "thank you"!
Maybe there's nothing on it that I can afford. Maybe I only buy from socially responsible companies. Maybe I just hate everything on the registry. There is no obligation to buy from a registry.
And OF COURSE I wouldn't give them tickets to a specific day/time event. You do realize you can purchase gift certificates at box offices, right? Or a mini-pack of season tickets?
Agree with this. Sometime by the time you get to the registry, there are only very expensive items left. I usually give money or do the registry, but I don't feel obligated to do so.
Agree with this. Sometime by the time you get to the registry, there are only very expensive items left. I usually give money or do the registry, but I don't feel obligated to do so.
I tend to lean toward the registry, simply because I don't have a lot of money to spare, and I know if it's on their registry, they want it. However, a registry is a suggestion list, not a demand list, and nowadays many forget that you don't get to dictate what someone gives you.
I tend to lean toward the registry, simply because I don't have a lot of money to spare, and I know if it's on their registry, they want it. However, a registry is a suggestion list, not a demand list, and nowadays many forget that you don't get to dictate what someone gives you.
THIS.
If I ever got married again I doubt I'd register, since I already have all the towels, dishes, flatware, pots, pans, etc. that I need. In fact I have more than I need. For many couples getting married, their registry items are not necessities but upgrades.
While money would be nice, I would never have the chutzpah to ask for it. I think I would say something like "In lieu of gifts please consider donating to one of the following charities close to my heart" or something like that.
If I have already given the couple a gift at the shower, I generally send a card to the home right before the wedding but I do not give an additional gift.
I have coeliac disease and simply can't eat gluten as it will poison me so I agree with the bride here, but they were rude, I would not have been as rude and would have said "it was a very nice gesture to buy this but I cannot eat it sorry".
However -- the brides had an engagement party at a pasta place where one of them works, and they were both chowing down on pastas and breads.... pretty much showed the one's gluten intolerance was a big fat lie.
Disgusting brides...and some disgusting attitudes in here, too.
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You do realize you can purchase gift certificates at box offices, right? Or a mini-pack of season tickets?
I think I would say something like "In lieu of gifts please consider donating to one of the following charities close to my heart" or something like that.
