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And some kids are SIMPLY NOT ready for college right after high school. Do you want them to go, and just fail their classes? Would it not be better for them to work? And go to college when they are more emotionally mature?
Are you pushing kids to go to college because they want to go or because YOU want them to go? Liz
I think its important as a parent to be involved in a childs success and failures right from the beg. If you are finding that your child isnt that bright or isnt doing well, then we as parents have to uncover the reasons why...maybe they are not strong in math...okay, lets get them a tutor or sit down for an extra 30 minutes.
Maybe they are immature..why is that...is their discipline in the home...
Maybe they are AWESOME at computer games..maybe they want to be the next nintendo game designer....and as parents we can help them decided the career path to do so.
There are ton of things that we as parents can do..but so many of us are "missing the clues". I think we as parents have to give them to tools to succeed.
As far as wanted them to go for us or for them. There are so many wonderful success stories we here from parents who say "I never got to go to college, but I want to make sure my kids do"..that is awesome.
From my own personal experience...my great granparents (me and dh's) that I can remember all went to 4 year university....my own mom has a masters degree in world history..which is reallly cool.
And we were never raised with college as being an "option"..its just the natural thing to go ahead and do after high school. Its not pressured, or a matter of being an overachiever......it was just well... "Okay you graduated from high, where are you going to college"....Prep work begins at home, get your schools counselor and a career advisor involved..they can be great resources too!
It was an assumption my grandparents made of each of their four boys too.
My daddy decided after one year to drop out and go in the military instead. AFTER his stint in the military, he went back and got his BS then. He was 29 when he graduated. He got his Masters when he was 65. His BS meant more at 29 then it would have at 23.
Being NOT ready for college does NOT imply they are not bright or not doing well.
It could well mean they just don't WANT to go...that they want to experience the REAL world first. Liz
The right bachelors degree is 100% worth the money. But the wrong one can be an expensive lesson. (art history anyone?)
That is why you go to community college for 2 years, take the classes you think you will like at lower prices - and then decide what field to go into. Getting out of college in exactly 4 years is very difficult.
As far as wanted them to go for us or for them. There are so many wonderful success stories we here from parents who say "I never got to go to college, but I want to make sure my kids do"..that is awesome.
From my own personal experience...my great granparents (me and dh's) that I can remember all went to 4 year university....my own mom has a masters degree in world history..which is reallly cool.
And we were never raised with college as being an "option"..its just the natural thing to go ahead and do after high school. Its not pressured, or a matter of being an overachiever......it was just well... "Okay you graduated from high, where are you going to college"....Prep work begins at home, get your schools counselor and a career advisor involved..they can be great resources too!
This is how I feel too. My husband said the same thing. In his family and town, it was just a given that after high school you go to college. He has a masters degree and so does his sister. He retired at the ripe old age of 40. His degree opened doors. His sister is also very successful. She is a career woman and has traveled the world.
I would do the same for my kids if I had kids. College would be a given not a option like it was for him and his friends.
Yeah..and after a 4 year degree (which is becomming really like a HS diploma these days)....then we had to pay the "difference", or take it out on loan. My brother went to an ivy league dental school..owes 300k..but again..his starting salary is almost 200k..and he does alot of that "doctors without borders work"..the cleft pallette kids.
I have a year left for my Masters degree..I decided to go after marriage and kids..because while I have the degree and work experience to back up any position..its just more of a personal choice..that I am crazy enough to say, I actually enjoy it...even if it takes me 7 years to finish..it doesnt bother me.
This is a good thread..because I have often wondered why kids drop out of high school..I mean that is really sad to me that there are still high school dropouts these days.....but I guess that is about environment and parental upbringing I guess.
This is a good thread..because I have often wondered why kids drop out of high school..I mean that is really sad to me that there are still high school dropouts these days.....but I guess that is about environment and parental upbringing I guess.
My daughter graduated summa c u m laude. Went one semester of Community College and decided it was NOT for her. Didn't even finish the semester. Pulled out. Got a job as a teller in a bank, worked up to loan officer.
Then she had to moved cause her real maternal grandfather was dying. He wanted her there with him. Two days after she got there he died and left her his estate.
Rather than sit on her laurels, she is NOW busting her tail running a restaurant franchise that she OWNS in town making money hand over fist. Her experience in the real world of finance is paying off. She said that SOME day she may go back to school...then again, she may not. Liz
LOL .... there are many "blue-collar" trades today that are as technical (if not more so) than historical college degree programs which lead to jobs of not-so-prestigious incomes anymore.
Forbes, I think, did a study in the last year where they determined that the costs of many college degree programs were not matched by the (anticipated) increase in earnings compared to a lot of jobs.
In my own experience, earning $100K+ per year with benefits as an auto tech, I made more money than some of my friends' combined earnings (both working) with their degrees.
I had a fair number of people look down their noses at me because I wasn't working in a "professional" capacity with a degree credential .... until their cars broke and the dealers couldn't fix them. Then I had some value in their system (well, for some of them I still didn't ... but the next time they needed their car fixed ... I was not available. Denial of service is a powerful tool when you're playing head trips with some of these folks with inflated self-worth).
FWIW, I came within a whisker of completing a degree in EE, but when I started interviewing for jobs upon graduation, I found that I was already making more money from my independent shady apple tree shop that I was being offerred in industry.
I was happy, independent, had a good income, had time to ski and race sailboats, camp out in the backcountry and fish, ride my motorcycle on trips all over the place, and wasn't particularly stressed out .... all a situation where I didn't believe I could better myself with the corporate politics that went with the jobs I was offerred.
40 years later, I'm still happy, able to do the things I want, have invested in my retirement (I could have retired years ago), work my own farm and ranch, fly my plane where I want to get away, ride my motorcycles ... and still work on my own equipment and that of a few very good friends. I also work full time as a manufacturer's rep in associated lines to the automotive business, and my background helps me to be an effective salesperson.
Life's pretty good. Even without that degree.
My wife's got two degrees. Works for the University and gets all of $12.50/hour plus benefits. With a master's in one of her fields, she could maybe ... just maybe if the job opened up by somebody retiring ... earn $60K/year. But there's at least 8 other people in-house who'd be competing for that one job opening who are equally well qualified for the technical demands. Ah, now in-office politics comes into play ... plus the University oversight. We don't need that stress ... if the job happened, so be it. But we're not banking on it.
I couldn't care less if my kids choose a blue collar profession over going to college, as long as they choose a profession that pays enough to cover the bills. Some blue collar jobs pay much, much more than my white collar job, which I got by getting my college degree.
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Liz
