Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You had to deal with a lot of difficulties in your life recently for sure. I would downplay your last job loss by saying you moved away or something similar and leave it at that.
I think your being in a new location and getting a fresh start in another city should be a bit easier for you in finding work depending on your field and so on. Based on your posts, you probably already learned from your mistakes with prior work and know to take a different course of action at your new job. All the best.
Thebunny I laid it out exactly as I did here, and then stressed that I'd gone to therapy and moved home in order to take care of things and now I was ready to return to the work force and had definitely learned from this experience and would never repeat my mistake again. Don't know how much more of a positive spin I could put on it! I never once said anything negative about my former employer either. I think it's just taken as "oh she can't handle stress" or something. I've missed out on 3 jobs because I was honest.
Thebunny I laid it out exactly as I did here, and then stressed that I'd gone to therapy and moved home in order to take care of things and now I was ready to return to the work force and had definitely learned from this experience and would never repeat my mistake again. Don't know how much more of a positive spin I could put on it! I never once said anything negative about my former employer either. I think it's just taken as "oh she can't handle stress" or something. I've missed out on 3 jobs because I was honest.
Definitely DO NOT lay it out like you did here. This is why you are not getting hired, you are being too honest, and giving them too much information.
So recently I was working a job, I moved to a new state for the job, uprooted myself and my husband for this job. I have a bachelor and master's degree in science.
I loved the job, but things were really hard, after 7 years of marriage I finally got pregnant (I have a medical condition that makes it hard), my boss was supportive, I was happy, but then I miscarried and things went downhill. I still did my job and was in denial about everything that happened. I lived like a zombie for months while doing my job. My husband during that time also lost his job (very unfairly- a week after he told his boss he had MS he was fired even though he had the highest workload at the company and at a previous job doing the same thing had like 6 years of experience). My MIL also became very sick and almost died, had surgery and a portion of her intestines removed because they almost perforated. Needless to say I was a wreck and probably should have taken time off. And to top it all off anytime my mom called me she'd ask if I was pregnant to the point it made me a nervous wreck when she would call.
I went back into training for my job for a new skill set, when it came time to think and take a test (I had taken at least 4 others for this new training), I used notes on the exam. I was caught and asked if I had done this before, I said yes, that I had on the previous exam, on one question. I explained that I really only had my notes to copy the same wording on a question and nothing else.
They made me take the test again, I did and passed with flying colors.
I told them since my miscarriage I just lost all my confidence and probably should have told them about my insecurities. I just had this irrational fear of not doing a good job I didn't trust myself to take a test (I know stupid).
They asked if I wanted to resign, I said no, I wanted to prove I could do this, they said okay.
They kept me for almost a month, I continued my training and told them I'd do whatever they asked me to do if I could stay. I started therapy as well. In another area of my work another person was caught faking results for the past 5 years, he was fired, and I think that's when things changed for the worse.
My last week they decided to do an IA investigation, had these people come down, talk to me, and talked to a few of my coworkers.
In the end I was fired for misconduct. I was a little surprised given it took them 3 weeks to decide to do an investigation and a month to let me go.
My former boss told me she was sorry and that it was out of her hands and she was sorry for the way I was treated in the end. She told me she'd give me a reference. I thanked her and left.
I know what I did was wrong, no debate about that, but I'm a good person who made a stupid mistake during a time of high stress, I went to therapy to sort myself out, and am now ready to go back to work, knowing I'd rather fail a test than EVER do that again.
That being said, now it's been two months since I lost that job. My husband and I decided it was best to return to our home state, which we did and moved in with my mother. My husband is now working again, but I am stuck in a rut. I keep applying for jobs, being honest, and not getting the job.
I finally spoke to a friend who is a recruiter who told me to 1- lie and say I left my job to relocate back to my home state because the job wasn't a good fit, and 2- not to use my supervisor as a reference and to only list the number at HR.
I feel kind of uneasy doing this, but being honest has gotten me nowhere so far, I have two old coworkers who promised to give me glowing references (I believe them), and from my job before that know SO MANY people who would give me amazing references, that I think I would probably be okay.
So while my resume is glowing from all my work experience, I just question in this case if I should just go ahead and put "relocation back to (my home state)" and in the interview just explain the job wasn't a good fit, and hope for the best?
Thanks.
I bolded and underlined what I feel strongly about. Employers, can usually, can only advise that you are eligible for rehire or not (which could be a problem for you if they divulge why). You never know which side of the bed a former manager will wake up on and who is on their 'sxxx list' on any given day.
Koale
- You might be better off just saying you were following your husband back to your home state, and leave it at that.
- Limit your references for co-workers and sympathetic supervisors. If there are any supervisors that like you, ask them if they can provide a positive reference.
HR departments deal plenty of bs to applicants, so don't feel too guilty if you skirt around your own issues. It's not like they are ever honest about their company issues ("oh yeah, we have sexual harassment suits, unfair working conditions, and pay women far less than men for doing the same job").
Thebunny I laid it out exactly as I did here, and then stressed that I'd gone to therapy and moved home in order to take care of things and now I was ready to return to the work force and had definitely learned from this experience and would never repeat my mistake again. Don't know how much more of a positive spin I could put on it! I never once said anything negative about my former employer either. I think it's just taken as "oh she can't handle stress" or something. I've missed out on 3 jobs because I was honest.
Sounds like you went into too much detail if you laid it out to them the way you did here. You should be spending no more than a sentence or 2 on the termination. Something like "I made an error in judgment and was terminated" and then a sentence on what you learned. If you are saying what you did here you are dwelling on it...and are definitely giving them reason to think you are not able to handle stress, as you are telling them that you are not able to handle stress.
Sounds like you went into too much detail if you laid it out to them the way you did here. You should be spending no more than a sentence or 2 on the termination. Something like "I made an error in judgment and was terminated" and then a sentence on what you learned. If you are saying what you did here you are dwelling on it...and are definitely giving them reason to think you are not able to handle stress, as you are telling them that you are not able to handle stress.
To be fair, 98% of America would be unable to handle that amount of stress.
To be fair, 98% of America would be unable to handle that amount of stress.
Never said anything about the validity of the stress. Merely that she is not handling the discussion of the situation well in interviews and when asked to explain would seemingly be leaving them with an impression that she will not be able to handle any stress after going through what she did. Fair or not, telling them that she got so stressed she needed to go to therapy and is now better IS going to make a prospective employer wonder, especially as her medical past is no business of the hiring manager's and is in fact protected through privacy rights. So, in this case, OP is being too honest and is telling them more than they need to know. Especially as she is telling them she had all this stress, went to therapy, made a large move and it has now been 2 months and all is better. Likely without meaning to, OP is calling into question whether or not she is READY to return to work, not the job she can do.
Bottom line, if OP is past the situation, is recovered and is fully ready to join the workforce, the new employer doesn't need to know the details of the medical situation, etc.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Good morning...
