Being honest is not working! (highest, applying, interview, application)
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So recently I was working a job, I moved to a new state for the job, uprooted myself and my husband for this job. I have a bachelor and master's degree in science.
I loved the job, but things were really hard, after 7 years of marriage I finally got pregnant (I have a medical condition that makes it hard), my boss was supportive, I was happy, but then I miscarried and things went downhill. I still did my job and was in denial about everything that happened. I lived like a zombie for months while doing my job. My husband during that time also lost his job (very unfairly- a week after he told his boss he had MS he was fired even though he had the highest workload at the company and at a previous job doing the same thing had like 6 years of experience). My MIL also became very sick and almost died, had surgery and a portion of her intestines removed because they almost perforated. Needless to say I was a wreck and probably should have taken time off. And to top it all off anytime my mom called me she'd ask if I was pregnant to the point it made me a nervous wreck when she would call.
I went back into training for my job for a new skill set, when it came time to think and take a test (I had taken at least 4 others for this new training), I used notes on the exam. I was caught and asked if I had done this before, I said yes, that I had on the previous exam, on one question. I explained that I really only had my notes to copy the same wording on a question and nothing else.
They made me take the test again, I did and passed with flying colors.
I told them since my miscarriage I just lost all my confidence and probably should have told them about my insecurities. I just had this irrational fear of not doing a good job I didn't trust myself to take a test (I know stupid).
They asked if I wanted to resign, I said no, I wanted to prove I could do this, they said okay.
They kept me for almost a month, I continued my training and told them I'd do whatever they asked me to do if I could stay. I started therapy as well. In another area of my work another person was caught faking results for the past 5 years, he was fired, and I think that's when things changed for the worse.
My last week they decided to do an IA investigation, had these people come down, talk to me, and talked to a few of my coworkers.
In the end I was fired for misconduct. I was a little surprised given it took them 3 weeks to decide to do an investigation and a month to let me go.
My former boss told me she was sorry and that it was out of her hands and she was sorry for the way I was treated in the end. She told me she'd give me a reference. I thanked her and left.
I know what I did was wrong, no debate about that, but I'm a good person who made a stupid mistake during a time of high stress, I went to therapy to sort myself out, and am now ready to go back to work, knowing I'd rather fail a test than EVER do that again.
That being said, now it's been two months since I lost that job. My husband and I decided it was best to return to our home state, which we did and moved in with my mother. My husband is now working again, but I am stuck in a rut. I keep applying for jobs, being honest, and not getting the job.
I finally spoke to a friend who is a recruiter who told me to 1- lie and say I left my job to relocate back to my home state because the job wasn't a good fit, and 2- not to use my supervisor as a reference and to only list the number at HR.
I feel kind of uneasy doing this, but being honest has gotten me nowhere so far, I have two old coworkers who promised to give me glowing references (I believe them), and from my job before that know SO MANY people who would give me amazing references, that I think I would probably be okay.
So while my resume is glowing from all my work experience, I just question in this case if I should just go ahead and put "relocation back to (my home state)" and in the interview just explain the job wasn't a good fit, and hope for the best?
You got fired for being dishonest and your solution is to be dishonest in order to get a new job?
Just putting down that the last job wasn't a good fit and putting down relocation to home state is hardly being "dishonest", and is the recommended course of action. No need to feel guilty about it, either.
What NorthStar said. I would never feel guilty about BSing an HR department-it's not like they're always honest or fair themselves (your experience is a prime example).
Why would you even consider being dishonest or neglect to tell the truth on a new resume? I wouldn't volunteer all the details as you did above but I certainly would find a way to tell the truth about what happened to you. Human Resources folks are now using the Internet as a tool to check up on people who apply for work anyhow so seeing that you have opened up on here and could very well have done the same on FACEBOOK or TWITTER then be as honest as you can. You can't afford to keep this ball of deception rolling; you have way too much stuff on your plate already, why add more?
What NorthStar said. I would never feel guilty about BSing an HR department-it's not like they're always honest or fair themselves (your experience is a prime example).
Do what you have to do get a job. Think like a CEO. No, wait, they are all "very honest."
Anyways, like I said, I did try being honest, and I even had an interview with a company, was 100% honest, put on the application that I was terminated, and last minute they cancelled my interview, and I know it's because of what happened because they called me two days before the interview and asked me what happened. I told them, they then sent me a generic "thank you for your interest in our company, we receive many applications, but unfortunately you don't meet our qualifications..." and then a second email that my interview was canceled. I tried calling the person who scheduled the interview and she told me it was out of her hands and that she couldn't discuss why my interview was cancelled.
Also, I haven't mentioned this on my facebook, as far as everyone else knows, I left the job, only my husband and immediate family know that I was fired, and of course the recruiter. I'd never post something like that on FB! And my FB is private, I could also temporary disable it if I felt the need to I guess. I actually disabled it for a few weeks after the even happened because I didn't want questions from coworkers asking what happened (which I did get one even then and just told them I was going through too much to face the job).
My last dilemma is this- what is HR saying about me? I basically was working for the state in Texas, I have a friend (we've been friends forever and I trusted her with this information just as she has always trusted me with important information) who is going to call my old boss tomorrow AND HR to see what information they would relinquish to a potential employer.
Pammy, knowing my situation, what would you say? BTW my resume is 100% honest, there is nothing fake on it, on the applications when they asked why I left is where I'd put the relocation part.
*shrug* I hate to skirt around the truth but what else can I do when it seems being fired in this economy seems to make you damaged goods.
Thanks again for the replies. Makes me feel a little better.
Putting the false information on the application is just as bad.
And if it comes out that you were terminated and did not tell the truth, even if it was on the application, you will still be fired.
I was fired about 3 years ago. Was honest on the application about what happened, and got the first job I applied for after being fired. I also work in HR, and termination is not an automatic disqualification, unless the termination was from the company at which we are attempting to place the person.
I am always skeptical of people who say there is such an issue with being terminated. I don't actually think it was your termination that caused them to cancel the interview, rather what you said when you discussed what happened.
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