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I was stopped at a light with nothing to fear
This dude walks up sticks a gun in my ear
He said;
" This trigger I'll squeeze "
" If I don't get your keys "
" Cuz I'm in a hurry to get outta here "
I said;
" My walk would be far "
" If I gave you my car "
" But if you climb on inside "
" I'll give you a ride "
Then I puffed on my cigar.
He reluctantly agreed
and ordered me to proceed
I began to drive fast
many cars did we pass
We were moving at a high rate of speed.
This had it's affect
He was sure we would wreck
He said;
" Stop the car brother "
" You're a dangerous mother "
So he got out on foot to finish his trek.
There once was a man named jagger
he was stabbed in the chest with a dagger
when blood he could taste
he tried to make haste
but not very far did he stagger
There once was a kitten named pie
fighting had cost him an eye
So his whiskers he'd use
The world to peruse
and had eight more times left to die
I once had a brother named Cain
while on the treadmill he felt a great pain
his chest stared squeezing
he had trouble breathing
and his consciousness started to wane
There once was a man named jagger
he was stabbed in the chest with a dagger
when blood he could taste
he tried to make haste
but not very far did he stagger
There once was a kitten named pie
fighting had cost him an eye
So his whiskers he'd use
The world to peruse
and had eight more times left to die
I once had a brother named Cain
while on the treadmill he felt a great pain
his chest stared squeezing
he had trouble breathing
and his consciousness started to wane
Those were good, keep em coming. I love reading limericks, don't see many anymore.
In childhood my friend was saddam
From his mother he learned the islam
When he heard of a crisis
He joined up with ISIS
Now he's been splattered apart by a bomb
There once was a fellow named Keith
who could tie his shoes with his teeth
He would keep his foot stable
on the edge of a table
With his hand placed underneath.
There once was a woman named Jean
whose cat was not often seen
The cat was so shy
when guests would stop by
He'd hide between the blinds and the screen.
There once was a woman named Toni
whose boobs looked obviously phony
Whenever she'd speak
her hooters would squeak
And jiggle like stacks of baloney.
There once was a drunkard named Greer
who had a bug fly into his ear
It took over his thinking
and told him to start drinking
Then flew away at the end of the year.
A man had gone to the pound
he brought in a dog that he found
When he discovered his stray
would be killed the next day
He decided to go home with the hound.
There once was a fellow named Pete
who got into a war with his feet
He scrubbed and he rinsed
but they still had a stench
An odor that smelled like sheet.
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