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And I'm liberal, pro-gay marriage, educated, etc. I wish it weren't the case.
Interesting regression analysis used various indicators (e.g., evangelical population) to predict when different states would legalize gay marriages (because it's GOING to happen with my generation): Arkansas was 3rd to last, occurring in 2022. FiveThirtyEight: Politics Done Right: Will Iowans Uphold Gay Marriage?
"Southern hospitality" is a myth. People are kind of standoffish to "outsiders." They also have short tempers. Though I will say Southerners believe in "doing the right thing." They like to help their neighbor in need, I guess, and all that stuff.
But if you are gay, non-white, liberal, well, people tend to not treat them so well. Not to say they are going to spit on you or any of that stuff. They will just have a negative opinion of you probably.
Justsomeguy is right. I moved to NC from CA and there is no Southern hospitality. I was really wrong to think that Charlotte would be in any way progressive. There are no genteel manners and hospitality that you see in the movies. The guy (gay) who lived next door to us moved down from NY to retire and recently put his house on the market after barely being here a year due to hostility in the area. Even in our multi-racial neighborhood full of transplants, many people have a backwoods attitude and would rather have a non-white neighbor than a gay neighbor, however straight white people are their preference. We are considering adopting an orphan from Ethiopia (4.5 million orphans in that tragic country alone) and even that has been met with hostility by some people as racism is so prevalent still. Many people here in the bible belt just don't "get" why we would choose to adopt an African child instead of having our own kids. Anyone trying to sugar coat it or say race and sexual orientation doesn't matter in the South is lying! Try a more liberal area like Austin or, if you want land, some of the more progressive Midwestern towns like Iowa City or parts of Wisconsin. How about upstate NY? Maine? There are lots of small, progressive towns in New England that also provide the rural life. You seem like such nice people and what you are doing for your children is lovely. There are way too many kids needing homes in the world.
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Ive lived in California, Oklahoma, Missouri, and Arkansas, and have spent considerable time in Texas and Arizona. I know people from all over the country. From personal experience and things I've heard even from gay people in other "conservative" cities like Charlotte, NC, I think I can say that Arkansas is the worst state for gays.
Notice I said its the worst state for GLBT people....not the worst state for everybody.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luv4ThePaws
I was really wrong to think that Charlotte would be in any way progressive. There are no genteel manners and hospitality that you see in the movies. The guy (gay) who lived next door to us moved down from NY to retire and recently put his house on the market after barely being here a year due to hostility in the area. Even in our multi-racial neighborhood full of transplants, many people have a backwoods attitude and would rather have a non-white neighbor than a gay neighbor, however straight white people are their preference.
I know a few people who live in Charlotte who are gay, and I will say from what they say it is considerably more progressive compared to anywhere in Arkansas.
Last edited by leorah; 04-11-2009 at 08:28 PM..
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I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond. It is sounding like Arkansas may not be such a great place for us right now. We live in Texas currently, and there are plenty of towns that we would not consider living in, but there are a few places where we can feel somewhat welcomed, like the town we live in currently. I had hoped that maybe Arkansas had some pockets too where a family like ours could feel accepted.
We are aware of the recent legislation concerning adoption, but since we would have the process finalized before moving we weren't too concerned about that. After all, as evidenced by the fact that we've lived in Texas and Florida, we can handle living in a conservative area if the citizens are in general at least enlightened enough to be kind to others regardless of their personal beliefs (if only more "Christians" really were Christ-like...).
We also realize that there are lots of more progressive areas in various states to choose from, but for whatever reason they tend to be more expensive. Due to our desire to own a large piece of land in a beautiful area with a mild climate, a lot of those places end of being cost prohibitive. We are fortunate in that we both work remotely and can therefore consider places that may not have a strong job market, but do have cheaper land.
Thanks again to all for your responses and the kind words.
Come to Oklahoma. Okies are generally more open minded and accepting than others.
Seriously? Not trying to sound rude, I'm just really surprised by that. We have looked at some properties in the southeastern part of the state (Broken Bow area) but we figured rural OK would be about the same as rural Texas. I'd be very happy to find out that that is not the case.
Everyone, keep in mind the OP is looking to get away from an urban environment and wants to live on a large lot of land, so recommendations for cities like Atlanta and Denver aren't very useful.
The truth of the matter is probably just about any smaller, rural town probably will not be very welcoming to his situation regardless of where in America it is, which compounds his problem. Though possible exceptions on the Left Coast and New England area but they are expensive. Iowa and those upper midwest states might work also. But Arkansas is in the buckle of the Bible Belt so probably a bad choice, though there may be some towns somewhere in AR that would work.
Someone recommended Hot Springs earlier - I am from Hot Springs originally and while it is probably more progressive/artsy than a lot of Arkansas towns, there are still a lot of backwards a$$ people there and I wouldn't really recommend it. I remember black kids getting beat up at my high school just because they were black - and this was in the 1990's, not the 1960's.
Last edited by leorah; 04-11-2009 at 08:30 PM..
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Seriously? Not trying to sound rude, I'm just really surprised by that. We have looked at some properties in the southeastern part of the state (Broken Bow area) but we figured rural OK would be about the same as rural Texas. I'd be very happy to find out that that is not the case.
Depends on where in Oklahoma. OKC has a large gay presence and I think Tulsa has a moderate one as well. Much of the state, especially eastern and southeastern Oklahoma is much like Arkansas. Its the buckle of the Bible Belt. If you want a gay friendly small town, Eureka Springs, Arkansas is the only place I can really think of in this immediate area.
I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond. It is sounding like Arkansas may not be such a great place for us right now. We live in Texas currently, and there are plenty of towns that we would not consider living in, but there are a few places where we can feel somewhat welcomed, like the town we live in currently. I had hoped that maybe Arkansas had some pockets too where a family like ours could feel accepted.
We are aware of the recent legislation concerning adoption, but since we would have the process finalized before moving we weren't too concerned about that. After all, as evidenced by the fact that we've lived in Texas and Florida, we can handle living in a conservative area if the citizens are in general at least enlightened enough to be kind to others regardless of their personal beliefs (if only more "Christians" really were Christ-like...).
We also realize that there are lots of more progressive areas in various states to choose from, but for whatever reason they tend to be more expensive. Due to our desire to own a large piece of land in a beautiful area with a mild climate, a lot of those places end of being cost prohibitive. We are fortunate in that we both work remotely and can therefore consider places that may not have a strong job market, but do have cheaper land.
Thanks again to all for your responses and the kind words.
The search continues! )
Ben
If that's the case Ben, you should DEFINITELY check out Eureka Springs, Fayetteville, and Little Rock. Then there are other communities that have sizable gay populations, but don't quite have the tolerance reputation as the three I mentioned: Hot Springs and Conway. I'm from Hot Springs and from an interracial family (white and asian) and haven't ever had any problems.
I was most worried about the legislation prohibiting unmarried couples from adopting, but it seems you've thought about that already.
In Conway, the Center for Artistic Revolution is based, and they are quite active. They are a pretty large LGBT group (the fact that UCA and Hendrix are based in Conway help). Center for Artistic Revolution (http://www.artisticrevolution.org/contents/index.php - broken link) In fact, if you join their yahoo group, I'm sure they'll be happy to answer your questions. Look them up!
Eureka Springs is a fantastic little down, with domestic partnership registries (a nod to the gay population). (There were three non-delta cities that went Obama: Fayetteville, Eureka Springs, and Little Rock. I certainly recognize that not all conservatives are anti-gay, but in the SOUTH, voting preference is a fairly good indicator of which communities will be more tolerant.) I did a google search for more on Eureka Springs. Here are some links: Gay News Bureau: Live from Gay Mecca: Eureka Springs, Arkansas, Welcome to Eureka Springs! (http://www.eurekapride.com/welcome/ - broken link), Eureka Springs, AR, Arkansas welcomes ALL people in share in our paradise.
ES is also located in the beautiful Ozarks. If you want to see more about the Ozarks, you should check out Arkansas Tourism Official Site - Fun Affordable Family Vacations - State of Arkansas. The most rugged and steep and geologically interesting Ozarks are in Arkansas--the steepest are the Boston Mountains just south of ES and east of Fayetteville (Boston Mountains - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia). There is high quality rock climbing in the area, which makes the place an island in the Mid-south/Midwest region. The Buffalo National River is something you'll also want to look up (essentially a National Park).
Two more great publications on the Ozarks: a National Geographic article on the Ozark Highlands Trail: Ozark Trail — National Geographic Magazine
And Tim Ernst's (famous Arkansan photographer) Cloudland Journal, replete with gorgeous pictures of the area and updated daily: CURRENTJournal
Fayetteville is in the Ozarks as well. Fayetteville is around 70k, growing rapidly, very educated, and infused with southern and midwestern culture (mainly progressive southernism, though). It's a beautiful city, well-planned city in general. If you're looking a for a pulse on its progressive community, you should check out Fayetteville Flyer.
I am very well traveled in this country and no where in this country will you be able to have a: Mild Climate, Socially Liberal Attitude, Conservative Government, Open Space, Great Views and a Small Town.
What I can that has all of those sparing Mild Climate, is Burlington, Vermont. So of course you can expect cold winters but that is the most constitutionally conservative state in the nation, as in no tyranny from "conservatives" a.k.a. liberals with a bible. Clearly you also have the recent civil rights legislation, but I have been in love with that state for such a long time. Burlington, despite being the largest city in the state only has 40,000 residents and the surrounding areas are beautiful, not to mention you can easily take a train to either Boston, Springfield, New Haven, Albany or NYC.
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Oklahoma
