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Old 09-10-2013, 03:26 PM
 
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I have had a hard time believing in god for quite some time,and finally came to the conlcusion there isn't one. My husband and I have been going to church with our kids for the last 15 years, but recently quit going. He had issues with the last church we attended, and I just couldn't stomach it anymore. So, I'm trying to figure out what to do Sunday mornings now that we have nowhere to go. I talked to my oldest about my doubts(she has them too and was relieved), but our younger kids think we have been just taking a break from church. (My husband may return someday, but I won't.) I'm not sure what to tell my younger kids about this. I figure it would be gradual, and that it might be easier if we came up with a new Sunday tradition of sorts. Any ideas??
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Old 09-10-2013, 03:33 PM
 
Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
10,202 posts, read 6,142,445 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by el1zabeth View Post
I have had a hard time believing in god for quite some time,and finally came to the conlcusion there isn't one. My husband and I have been going to church with our kids for the last 15 years, but recently quit going. He had issues with the last church we attended, and I just couldn't stomach it anymore. So, I'm trying to figure out what to do Sunday mornings now that we have nowhere to go. I talked to my oldest about my doubts(she has them too and was relieved), but our younger kids think we have been just taking a break from church. (My husband may return someday, but I won't.) I'm not sure what to tell my younger kids about this. I figure it would be gradual, and that it might be easier if we came up with a new Sunday tradition of sorts. Any ideas??
Engage the family in outdoor pursuits. Wilderness experiences can be very cathartic and even spiritual. Start small and local and work up to true wilderness and perhaps even multi week trips. Expirence the environment and ecology. My daughter and SIL went on a 10 day wilderness canoe trip with my 4 year old grandson a couple of years ago.

It has a tendency to build a very close family ties and it is something with children will remember even when they are adults.
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Old 09-10-2013, 04:01 PM
 
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Might be an idea to ask the kids what they would like to do on their free family day, and do it together.
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:27 PM
ino
 
Location: Way beyond the black stump.
680 posts, read 2,211,612 times
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OP's snipped quote: "...I'm not sure what to tell my younger kids about this."

You could try just being honest and let them decide for themselves. You've come to a personal realisation, now let the kids do similar without fear or favour. It's not like you're going to be struck down dead by your use of reasoning, that's what separates us from animals and insects, the ability to think and reason as individuals.
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:36 PM
 
66 posts, read 111,909 times
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Thank you for your ideas. I like the idea of just asking them lol. That's easy enough. I do plan to let my kids decide for themselves where religion is concerned. However, I feel like at some point they will know my viewpoint has changed. The thing is I never saw how much religion, particularly the one we were part of, is to a certain extent an abuse of power. Anyway, I just don't know if I should talk to them to tell them I've changed my mind, or just let them ask if they want to know.
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Parts Unknown, Northern California
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Just start treating Sundays like Saturdays, you do not need any official or specific replacement activity for church. To think that way is to continue to give the mythology power over you, as in continuing to think of Sunday as different from any other day.

And, oh....welcome to the club. Your decoder ring will be mailed and you will be contacted to set up an appointment for the blood initiation ceremony. (Bring your own goat to avoid having to buy one from one of the local venders...they'll gyp you.)
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:49 PM
 
3,404 posts, read 2,266,539 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by el1zabeth View Post
I have had a hard time believing in god for quite some time,and finally came to the conlcusion there isn't one. My husband and I have been going to church with our kids for the last 15 years, but recently quit going. He had issues with the last church we attended, and I just couldn't stomach it anymore. So, I'm trying to figure out what to do Sunday mornings now that we have nowhere to go. I talked to my oldest about my doubts(she has them too and was relieved), but our younger kids think we have been just taking a break from church. (My husband may return someday, but I won't.) I'm not sure what to tell my younger kids about this. I figure it would be gradual, and that it might be easier if we came up with a new Sunday tradition of sorts. Any ideas??
The other thing you might want to consider is reserving Sunday morning for some form of family time or activity. It is easy to fill the extra time with house or yard work, chores, homework, video games, or other things that may let family members drift off into their own little world. Maybe Sunday mornings can become some sort of positive ritual for your family, a day when you have a big family breakfast, or you go for a hike, or (depending on the ages of your kids) read a story out loud together. Even a chore or a task that you can all work together to do can be something that strengthens the family bond.

The other thing is you may want to talk with your husband about what he is feeling. If he is still comfortable as a believer of some sort, maybe that changes how you present the changes to the family schedule. You may have to be more delicate in how you present your feelings as not to make the kids feel like they have to "side" with someone. I feel doubly fortunate in that my wife and I both left the faith at the same time (roughly) and we are both now pretty staunch un-believers. The other thing is that we don't have kids yet, so we did not have to worry about the impact a change like this would have on them. I will say that I think they will adapt, especially if you are honest, open, and non-judgemental toward your former church.

Good luck, and welcome to the great big family of unbelievers.

-NoCapo

P.S. Grandstander! I forgot all about the goat! Darn, does this mean I am not really an atheist after all!?!
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there.
6,939 posts, read 3,832,445 times
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Oh my word, possibly the easiest advice I've ever given.
Stay in bed. Have a long cuddle with your husband. Get up late.
Have a long breakfast. Make pancakes with the kids. Squeeze some oranges. Make coffee. Spend some quality time with your family. Appreciate each other.
Do something together. It doesn't matter what. Go for a walk will do. Do some gardening. The important thing is you get to spend time together.
I think it will be easier than you think.

I don't think there's any need to say anything unless they ask.
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Sitting beside Walden Pond
4,609 posts, read 4,135,656 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by el1zabeth View Post
I have had a hard time believing in god for quite some time,and finally came to the conlcusion there isn't one.
Two of our very active posters (Woordow Li and Flipflop) were raised in religious households but came to their senses and decided they were Atheists.

After a few years, they converted back to Theists. Very Fundamentalist Theists.

So just do what you think is right and you and your family will be fine.
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,988 posts, read 4,654,452 times
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Growing up, my Sunday mornings were family time. We would take our time getting up for the day, and my mom would make a good hot breakfast, which we would all eat together. Then my dad would take us fishing or whatever, giving my mom a chance to clean up the breakfast mess. It was such a nice change from the hustle and bustle of getting ready for school on weekdays and Saturday activities. I've been trying to keep up the tradition with my kids, but we usually go out to breakfast, since my biscuits and gravy never turn out right.
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