Any area in CA that aren't so laid back? (San Diego: real estate, transfer)

[ChrisWebsites]

Hey everyone,

I recently moved to San Diego from NY, it's like a whole different world for me over here.But like most that moved it's hard for me to connect with people here, my energy levels are to high. I noticed people who visit from the Bay Area are very similar in terms of thinking / mindset wise as I am. Are there areas in SoCal where it's not so laid back?

[NoMoreSnowForMe]

Originally Posted by ChrisWebsites

Hey everyone,

I recently moved to San Diego from NY, it's like a whole different world for me over here.But like most that moved it's hard for me to connect with people here, my energy levels are to high. I noticed people who visit from the Bay Area are very similar in terms of thinking / mindset wise as I am. Are there areas in SoCal where it's not so laid back?

I don't think even the major cities in CA are like NY. Although, you'd find more people like that in the cities.

It's the Mexican cultural influence, for the most part, you are experiencing. Like Texas. More laid back, though you can still find hyper people in the cities. But, it's not the overall cultural attitude in CA like other places.

[ChrisWebsites]

Agreed, agreed, its tough but still. I moved here for the weather...No more snow for me, aint that the truth haha

[GSR13]

The only place I can think of is West Hollywood with the hustling showbiz types

I'm in San Diego and have a type-A personality and there is conflict here with that. Definitely do not come to San Diego; it is probably the most-laid back place in Socal and the locals enforce the culture here. I have a friend from NYC who lived here for several years too, and he hated it here.

[BeauCharles]

Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe

It's the Mexican cultural influence, for the most part, you are experiencing.

The parts of NorCal and the Sierra Nevada I grew up in have always been laid back and they were almost completely white until the 1980s.

[ChrisWebsites]

Originally Posted by GSR13

The only place I can think of is West Hollywood with the hustling showbiz types

I'm in San Diego and have a type-A personality and there is conflict here with that. Definitely do not come to San Diego; it is probably the most-laid back place in Socal and the locals enforce the culture here. I have a friend from NYC who lived here for several years too, and he hated it here.

I'm in San Diego currently, I don't hate it here by any means actually, I love it here. great place, great people, great food, but how I do I put it, its very "gong-ho" its San Diego or nothing in most peoples opinions and thats what sickens me about people in general, but different story for a different time.

[eastcoastbias]

Originally Posted by ChrisWebsites

Hey everyone,

I recently moved to San Diego from NY, it's like a whole different world for me over here.But like most that moved it's hard for me to connect with people here, my energy levels are to high. I noticed people who visit from the Bay Area are very similar in terms of thinking / mindset wise as I am. Are there areas in SoCal where it's not so laid back?

I came from the Midwest, spent a half decade on the East Coast and I've lived here now for 13 years.


Generally speaking, San Diego is very laid back, work to play mentality, vacation town. No one is in a hurry to do anything. If you say you are meeting someone at 7 and they show up at 730- "its no worries man". Type A's don't thrive long term with these factors. They (majority) will think you are uptight and you will think you are just being respectful of other people and their time.


Like you said- Great weather. One of the Best places for activities (outdoor, indoor, parks, sight seeing). Real Estate a little overpriced in comparison to about 90% of places around the Country. Very hard to get a sense of community here because there is lots of folks move here for weather and a job and they transfer away in 4/5 years. Local employers do sunshine discounts with pay (you have to really fight here to be compensated well). Overall there are great things here, but its hard to sustain when you take a look around at other places around the country.


I've lived here for 13 years now (I'm probably here for another 20) and every 3/4 months I need to get away- I'll run up to Vegas or take a trip back East (maybe catch a little snow, pace, aggressiveness and attitude). I've managed for 13 years. Day to Day- I'll take care of things before the masses wake up so I'm not aggravated by slow drivers, shoppers, etc. I married a New Yorker. I moved closer to work and I take trips and get away now and then.

[tstieber]

I'm a Bay Area transplant who got tired of the conversation and work obsessed mentality. I'm sort of in the middle on temperament and enjoy bustle for a while before burning out, so San Diego is a better day to day baseline for me. If you crave crowds, people, traffic, etc, then you'd probably prefer San Francisco, although housing costs are much higher. The Silicon Valleymentality is also really intense, but that area is really boring. If you're looking to stay in SD, then I recommend joining activities or groups based around your interests. There is urban life here if you want it, just not so in your face.

[Count David]

IMO if you go ~ 90 miles north things will tighten up for you some.

Something has always "bothered" me about San Diego, as such, I've never included it in the list of places I would live in, and until a recent stay, I wasn't sure why, but I did finally came to a conclusion: I find it kind of similar to the city I live in; I perceive a lack of some sort of ambition, and blind homerism/native pride that I have trouble relating to.

It almost makes me ill.

But it works for some people, and I'm cool with that.

[GSR13]

Originally Posted by David Aguilar

IMO if you go ~ 90 miles north things will tighten up for you some.

Something has always "bothered" me about San Diego, as such, I've never included it in the list of places I would live in, and until a recent stay, I wasn't sure why, but I did finally came to a conclusion: I find it kind of similar to the city I live in; I perceive a lack of some sort of ambition, and blind homerism/native pride that I have trouble relating to.

It almost makes me ill.

But it works for some people, and I'm cool with that.

Definitely seconded. As the OP mentioned, the "san diego or bust" attitude results in a pronounced aversion to any kind of constructive criticism about SD. The homerism is indeed very much blind.

Also, as another poster mentioned, you get perceived as uptight if you try get people to be courteous and considerate. If you see someone being a jerkoff in public, and if you say something about it *you* are perceived as the bad guy.

Lastly, there's a noticeable lack of eye contact/acknowledgment of other people in general when you're out in public.