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I didn’t want to bore with too many details, but long story short, I *know* that there exists cliques at my church and there is a certain sense of entitlement among the chosen few (mainly the Pastor’s family and those that have been there for many, many years). I’ve only been at the church for 3 years, but in that time, my family has developed a close relationship with the Pastor and I’m one of those people that folks at the church like to see come in the door. I’m friendly, funny and folks there just like to be around me. I’m also a great planner and organizer, so they look forward to when I plan events because they know it will be a stellar affair. I’m not saying this out of conceit…I’m just trying to draw a picture of why I feel a bit used.
In addition, when there’s a function requiring food, etc, my family is who they turn to (75% of the time, my family foots the food bill). I recently planned a youth event where my family’s out of pocket expenses exceeded $500. It’s my belief that the church plans to see that as the “youth annual event”, though they didn’t give me any of the fundraiser money to defray my costs. While I organized the event with no expectations of repayment, it would sting if they’ve decided to “leech” off of my event and use the money for the inner-circle “vacation”.
RE: those who say find out the truth first.
I thought of approaching the Youth Pastor, prior to their planned trip, to ask about the status of the youth trip. BUT, what has stopped me is that I want to know their true heart. There’s absolutely, positively, NO WAY, they don’t know they haven’t extended the invitation to me and my children. The whole organizing has been very hushed, which gives me the sense that they don’t want everyone (including me) to know the true details of the trip. I only learned of it because a child going (pastor’s family) asked my daughter if she was going (doing my youth outing). I don’t want to approach and have them invite me out of guilt, etc……In essence, I don’t want to force my presence when it’s obvious that don’t want me there. I think the main motivation for not inviting me and my family is that I have multiple children which eats into their budget for the trip. Rather than invite all of the children, they invite a select few, so that the adults can go for free.
In that case, wait until the event is over, then ask questions.
In that case, wait until the event is over, then ask questions.
Exactly; on Sunday (after the trip), I plan to approach the YP and ask about the status of the youth trip. His reaction will tell me what I need to know. I do like the church and (for the most part) the people there, so I hope my suspicions are wrong. BUT, *knowing* the people at the church, I'm sure this Sunday will result in my looking for a new church home.
Exactly; on Sunday (after the trip), I plan to approach the YP and ask about the status of the youth trip. His reaction will tell me what I need to know. I do like the church and (for the most part) the people there, so I hope my suspicions are wrong. BUT, *knowing* the people at the church, I'm sure this Sunday will result in my looking for a new church home.
I hope you are wrong, too, because that would be very mean for them to do that to you. Let us know how it turns out.
Absolutely not! This is what I found uncalled for:
That's ok, I respect your opinion, but I also believe (from real world experience) that I'm correct in my assumption. Does intolerance disallow you respecting my opinion
Without boring you with a lot of background, I’ll just say that I’m on the Youth Committee at my church and I help organize events. One event was a fundraiser for a summer trip for the youth. I’ve recently learned that a small group of kids are going to an amusement park (the very same one that was to be the site of the youth trip) on the same date (this Saturday) that the youth trip was supposed to be on. When I’ve asked in the past about the status of this year’s youth trip, the answers have been “I don’t know’s”. Now, I learn about this trip; my children were not invited. On Sunday, after the trip, I plan to ask when the youth trip will take place using the funds we have raised. I’m almost 99% sure the trip on Saturday will be using the fundraiser money; an event that my family spent time and money helping to make successful, yet we weren’t invited on this outing.
Would this be enough to make you leave your church? If the church indeed uses the fundraising money for their trip on Saturday (which I’m almost positive they will), I will feel VERY betrayed and hurt that my family was excluded.
No, I would go lovingly and talk, be honest how you feel and ask where the funds are for your trip.
Pray for their and your heart to be softened before you go. Try not to assume, get it out in the open.
It may not be what it seems. Take a chance and believe God will make this right.
People are going to do things wrong and things are going to happen but if you don't give them a chance to speak and hear your side, how will you know for sure they have done wrong. Just leaving is running away from something without the true facts. Ask why you were not invited, maybe per chance, they think your going or maybe not. Take a chance on God not people. Plus you are on the commitee, ask questions. Luke 17:3
So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.
Just a strong sense, God will take care of this with alittle honest, open communication.
God Bless,
Mercy
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