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Old 10-09-2008, 10:08 AM
 
Location: NW Nevada
13,341 posts, read 10,948,196 times
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To sded some light on things...my wife was always a believer but she became more devout a couple years into our marriage. I'm a believer also, just not the same way she is. We interpret scripture differently and I am also more scientific in my beliefs. About certain things any way, some things you just HAVE to accept on faith. My main concern is that I have seen some large issues develop in the marriges of freinds that revolved around this issue. I'm not going to allow things to go down that road so the more insight I have the better equiped I am to keep things on an even keel. Thank you to all of you....Your replys are forthright, non judgmental, and just what I've been looking for.
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Old 10-09-2008, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Midwest
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I am married to a wonderful non Christian man. He was raised in a different belief system than I was, but we have the same moral values and I don't have to compromise any of my beliefs for him.

I do not "witness" to my husband or try to convert him to Christianity because he is very respectful of my beliefs and I am respectful of his in return. We are raising our children to think for themselves and allthough we are bringing them up going to Church with me, we are also letting them know that Daddy believes something different (He is agnostic). All children will at some point choose for themselves what they believe and that is true regardless of whether they have two Christian parents or two Non-Christian parents.

I think that it teaches our children to respect other beliefs and to understand that not everyone believes the same thing, but we can still get along wonderfully and love each other, even though we are different.

I love my husband very much and I do pray for him, but I do not have any turmoil over his plight, my husband is a grown man and he is very capable of thinking for himself. He chooses not to believe and I belive he has legitimate reasons to choose that way.
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Old 10-09-2008, 10:30 AM
 
8,989 posts, read 12,466,211 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Martha View Post
I am married to a wonderful non Christian man. He was raised in a different belief system than I was, but we have the same moral values and I don't have to compromise any of my beliefs for him.

I do not "witness" to my husband or try to convert him to Christianity because he is very respectful of my beliefs and I am respectful of his in return. We are raising our children to think for themselves and allthough we are bringing them up going to Church with me, we are also letting them know that Daddy believes something different (He is agnostic). All children will at some point choose for themselves what they believe and that is true regardless of whether they have two Christian parents or two Non-Christian parents.

I think that it teaches our children to respect other beliefs and to understand that not everyone believes the same thing, but we can still get along wonderfully and love each other, even though we are different.

I love my husband very much and I do pray for him, but I do not have any turmoil over his plight, my husband is a grown man and he is very capable of thinking for himself. He chooses not to believe and I belive he has legitimate reasons to choose that way.
If your husband dies in his sins, where will he go?
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Old 10-09-2008, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Oxford, OH
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I think we witness without a word many times. We want them to see something they want in their lives. When I was dating my DH he was not a believer. He turned his life over to Christ while we were dating. If not I would not have married him, and certainly did not tell him that at the time, since I didn't want him to do this because or for me. Belief in Christ is the whole core of Christainity and not having that would, to me, seem like we were not on the same page. But also we are always at different maturity levels. The main issue is if they believe in Christ as their savour and everything else is a side issue. I can't imagine wondering if my DH was going to Heaven. It would weigh on my heart.
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Old 10-09-2008, 10:56 AM
 
8,989 posts, read 12,466,211 times
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Originally Posted by driftwoodpoint View Post
I think we witness without a word many times. We want them to see something they want in their lives. When I was dating my DH he was not a believer. He turned his life over to Christ while we were dating. If not I would not have married him, and certainly did not tell him that at the time, since I didn't want him to do this because or for me. Belief in Christ is the whole core of Christainity and not having that would, to me, seem like we were not on the same page. But also we are always at different maturity levels. The main issue is if they believe in Christ as their savour and everything else is a side issue. I can't imagine wondering if my DH was going to Heaven. It would weigh on my heart.
I agree, BUT you should witness to your loved one at least once.

and how about when you have children?
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Old 10-09-2008, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Oxford, OH
1,461 posts, read 3,219,195 times
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Oh I agree and I did witness to him while we were dating. I even took him through Crusade's Four Spiritual Laws booklet. And then let God work on him in His own timing. He asked lots of questions and then when he was alone one evening gave his life to Christ. He later shared that with me.
I think when you have children it would be very difficult to have different spiritual beliefs. We had five children between us, very complicated, but now they are all grown up and we are in the wonderful grand parent stage.
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Old 10-09-2008, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Midwest
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Originally Posted by Reformed Liberal View Post
If your husband dies in his sins, where will he go?
My husband makes his own decisions. It is not up to me to make that choice for him. I love him very much, but I cannot make him believe everything that I want him to believe. It may sound calloused, but there are many people who mean a lot to me who make their own decisions and have decided not to be Christians. That does not mean that it is my job to bombard them and make them feel inadequate. That is between them and God, not me.

Also on the children aspect. Children who are raised by two Christian parents may not believe as their parents do. I had many friends growing up who had one parent who believed and one who did not. They were not in any turmoil over their parent's situation and they understood what was going on. It was not a stumbling block for them.
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Old 10-09-2008, 01:18 PM
 
8,989 posts, read 12,466,211 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Martha View Post
My husband makes his own decisions. It is not up to me to make that choice for him. I love him very much, but I cannot make him believe everything that I want him to believe. It may sound calloused, but there are many people who mean a lot to me who make their own decisions and have decided not to be Christians. That does not mean that it is my job to bombard them and make them feel inadequate. That is between them and God, not me.

Also on the children aspect. Children who are raised by two Christian parents may not believe as their parents do. I had many friends growing up who had one parent who believed and one who did not. They were not in any turmoil over their parent's situation and they understood what was going on. It was not a stumbling block for them.
I never said that but you should witness to him at least once and pray for him everyday which I am sure you are doing.

As far as the children, I don't agree with you at all from what I read in the bible but it's your family.

God Bless
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Old 10-09-2008, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Midwest
1,167 posts, read 1,348,356 times
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My husband knows where I stand on things, and he knows what I believe. I keep my cool in situations that most would fall apart in and when he asks me how I do it I tell him. HE comes to ME, that is the best way to witness to anyone, but I do not shove my beliefs down his throat.

As for our children, I think you may have misunderstood what I was trying to say. I raise my children teaching them what I believe, they go to Church and God is a big part of our family life. I do tell them though that there are other religions out there, it is free will for them, once they turn 18, to decide that they do not want to believe what I believe, I will try to raise them to be able to make that decision properly, but children are not zombies, they do make their own choices. BUT until they are 18 years old, they will live by my husband and my rules and one of those rules is that Sunday is a family day and that we go to Church on that day.
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Old 10-10-2008, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Romeoville, IL
1,238 posts, read 2,183,940 times
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Originally Posted by NVplumber View Post
This is a subject that has definate meaning to me and I am looking for a little insight deeper into it...from outside sources. My wife is a very faith based woman. Me..not so much. Occasionally this has caused some friction the particulars of which are not really important as we have always managed to resolve them in one way or another, yet she has professed to me that me not being a Christian does trouble her, sometimes deeply. Thus is my prediciment. I love her very much and have no desire to see her so troubled yet neither am I going to move myself into her faith. I have had my beliefs my entire life and they work for me. We discuss faith sometimes( I am well aquainted with the Bible and books of many other faiths) and as a philisophical exercise I enjoy these talks. I guess the nuts and bolts of what I wish to know is, at the core, are relationships between Christians and non Christians generally doomed to failure if one or the other partner does not want to convert? Is this a common problem?
I think it depends on how deep those religious views are. Myself, I would not want to date someone that does not share the same moral values and beliefs on me, as I believe these values are how I want to raise my children and I don't want someone with conflicting views to taint that. I also find that out of all the girlfriends I have had (only like four or five, I'm pretty young) the longest relationships I had were with women who I agreed with on many philosophical issues.

However, not all people who have deep beliefs on an issue really care one way or another what other people think. So it is different for everyone.
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