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Old 10-22-2009, 11:57 PM
 
Location: Armsanta Sorad
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A friend said that Christians should never marry false idols. As a Christian, I guess I'll have to reconsider since 90 percent of the youth population is atheist, am I right?

Would you date someone of a different religious background?
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Old 10-23-2009, 12:13 AM
 
Location: Seattle, Washington
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Quote:
Originally Posted by West of Encino View Post
A friend said that Christians should never marry false idols. As a Christian, I guess I'll have to reconsider since 90 percent of the youth population is atheist, am I right?

Would you date someone of a different religious background?
Well it depends... Don't tell my husband

Just kidding.. I think if it causes a fight then no, you should not date someone of a different religion. But if you accept them for who they are and they accept you then all you need to do is figure out how you will raise your kids if you choose to have them.

The bottom line is that if it causes tension then it is not a good idea as marriage is already hard enough.. but that has nothing to do with idols..

My husband and I both grew up Christian but I have vastly different views of Jesus, the end times, and the gospel than he does... but we just have some very interesting discussions. He know that I love him just the way he is and I know he loves me. We agreed that we would raise our kids outside of the church and let them be exposed to the gospel in spurts rather than being conditioned to believe certain aspects that he and I don't agree on..

But.. I have to say.. my husband is actually coming around to my views. I guess because they are the correct ones.. LOL
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Old 10-23-2009, 05:24 AM
 
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Never get connected too close to a girl outsie your faith.

Oh in the beginning, you think that all you need is 'love" and you will make it over the little bump of faith, but thats error.

In the end is that bump getting bigger and bigger and bigger until one day I begin to understand that you have committed a sin in not going forth to your own faith for a wife.
I have seen it many times, even here on this forum where the reason for the divorce is always given as "My husband was not a Christian..."

So the advice I have, as well as the advice the bible has, is to stick to members of your own faith....it will be some much more easy in the future for you if you do.
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Old 10-23-2009, 06:24 AM
 
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I have been married for 20 years to someone who is of a non-Christian faith. Before we were married we agreed to raise any children in my faith. It has worked for us but at times has been difficult. I would never say don't marry someone you love because of their faith (love conquers all) but agree that it is easier to support your own faith journey if you find someone with similar beliefs.
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Old 10-23-2009, 06:35 AM
 
Location: Germany
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at the moment would say I would prefer a Christian wife very very much, the denomination I am close too, teaches that we should only marry believers and I see it makes sense and is most probably better.
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Old 10-23-2009, 06:43 AM
 
Location: USA
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Well the topic says marry but the OP says dating so guess I'll address both.

I believe faith plays a big role in relationships. It does have the ability to either draw people closer together or tear them apart. There is wisdom in scripture when it says "do not be unequally yoke", "can two walk together less they be of one accord", and "a kingdom (home) divided can not stand".

Marriage has a lot of stresses as two people try to come together as one. There are differences already involved just as a result of different upbringings and thus different views on any number of things such as parenting, finances, interests, etc. These stresses can easily be defused or fired up when adding faith to the mix. I am sure many can make it work. Speaking for myself, I would find it to be very difficult.

When your faith is such a core fabric of your being, it is extremely difficult to be unequally yoked in it. Being of two different faiths is going to bring up feelings of frustration, disagreements, arguments, and perhaps even dissatisfaction as one may feel their spiritual needs are not met by their partner. Even when the same faith is involved, there is still a risk of being unequally yoked in the application of or living out of that faith. One may be very passionate about their faith, seeking to grow and knowledge, seeking to serve in ministry, with their whole self being a reflection of their faith, while the other may be more laid back about it, where it's something that is there but in a more superficial kind of way. Take for example simple things such as going to church, reading/studying the bible, and prayer. If one is very passionate about those things, while the other is more "take it or leave it" about it, this can eventually cause frustrations in one or the other.

So when it comes to marriage. I'd say it is very important not only to have the same faith, but also a similar view towards that faith.

Now when it comes to dating. There may be more room in this. At the starting point, you may even go out with someone not fully aware of where they stand in faith. Eventually as you are dating you get to know each other and find these things out. However, at the point that you begin to evaluate whether or not to take the dating relationship to a deeper level, this is where consideration has to be given in terms of faith. In a serious relationship, a difference of faith can result with similar problems as it would with marriage. Take for example, someone who believes, based on their faith, that sex is only to be within the context of marriage, while the other does not believe the same way. Here some friction, dissatisfaction, etc. can begin to manifest itself.

Many people will take a relationship deeper based on having similar interests, i.e. liking the same hobbies, entertainment, etc., making each other laugh, feel good, etc., the physical and emotional attractiveness, etc. Often times these are the key elements that are focused on and faith is often overlooked or a belief that it is not that big a deal and they can work those things out. This may be true for a while, but eventually the risk is there for it to be a major stumbling block in a relationship. Especially if they go on to get married, establish a home and bring children in.

Therefore, I guess my opinion, or answer would be: in casual dating, dating outside one's faith may be possible or okay. In serious dating, having similar faith is very important. In marriage, it's almost essential.

So I'd have to agree with Alan's last sentence above... following the advice of the bible, stick with members of your own faith and be not unequally yoke. I agree, it should make things a bit more easy.
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Old 10-23-2009, 06:53 AM
 
218 posts, read 268,871 times
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Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).
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Old 10-23-2009, 07:38 AM
 
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The specific "religion" or expressed "belief" systems do NOT matter in unequal yoking. True belief in God . . . as revealed in the fruits of one's approach to life and others (not professed "beliefs") . . . should be the measuring stick for compatibility because it indicates the strength of the Holy Spirit within (the inner Jesus).
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Old 10-23-2009, 07:58 AM
 
Location: USA
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No, I would not. Shared beliefs, shared life goals, are fundamental to a good marriage. There may be some happily married couples of different faiths, but I imagine they are the exception, rather than the rule.

Besides, I wouldn't want to be with someone I could not share my faith with, that is the most important thing to me. That bonds you together.
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Old 10-23-2009, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Seward, Alaska
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No way! I've got enough troubles having married inside my religion!...


Bud
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