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Surely it is possible to give kids a better life without spoiling them. I mean since when are the two terms synonymous??
Would you explain how it's possible for a parent to give their kids a better life without spoiling them?
In order for a parent to give their kids a better life, the parent has to give their kids more than they had growing up. When you give your kids more than you had growing up, that makes them spoiled compared to you.
You know what I don't understand? When parents say they want to give their kids the life they never had (in other words, a better life). But then when the kids get older, the parents complain how spoiled they are
Umm, we're spoiled because you wanted to spoil us. You wanted to give us a better life.
Excellent observation!! I've always wondered the same thing. Do you suppose it has anything to do with the "gratitude card"? Perhaps the "giving" parents weren't grateful to their parents, or resented the fact that their parents didn't give them as much, whether it be freedom or monetary "stuff".
Those parents try to give their kids so many things, so much more than they felt THEIR parents gave to them. Ironically, their children don't appreciate THEIR parents any more than their parents appreciated their grandparents! It doesn't matter how much you give people.....for some, it's never enough and they're always wanting more.
Would you explain how it's possible for a parent to give their kids a better life without spoiling them?
In order for a parent to give their kids a better life, the parent has to give their kids more than they had growing up. When you give your kids more than you had growing up, that makes them spoiled compared to you.
I suppose this is true if you're only looking at this from a "monetary" viewpoint! How is it possible to give your kids a better life than you without spoiling them?
Hmmmm how about kids raised in a household where the parents never went to any of their sports functions (or let them be in sports), never went to music concerts, never did anything outside of the home with the family, never helped the kids with homework or let kids come over to the house to play? That child might grow up to be the kind of parent who makes sure their children get to be in sports, are the kind of parent who attends all of their child's functions, allows them to have sleepovers, takes them to the park or the movies.
How about kids who were raised in abusive homes where alcohol and/or drugs may have been prevalent? How are you spoiling your child if you determine that your child will NOT be raised in that kind of home.You can be the kind of parent who doesn't berate, neglect or abuse your children. You can be the kind of parent who does not abuse alcohol or drugs. It IS a better life....and has nothing to do with spoiling a child. Again...you're only looking at money and "stuff" here, CD91.
I suppose this is true if you're only looking at this from a "monetary" viewpoint! How is it possible to give your kids a better life than you without spoiling them?
Hmmmm how about kids raised in a household where the parents never went to any of their sports functions (or let them be in sports), never went to music concerts, never did anything outside of the home with the family, never helped the kids with homework or let kids come over to the house to play? That child might grow up to be the kind of parent who makes sure their children get to be in sports, are the kind of parent who attends off of their child's functions, allows them to have sleepovers, takes them to the park or the movies.
How about kids who were raised in abusive homes where alcohol and/or drugs may have been prevalent? How are you spoiling your child if you determine that your child will NOT be raised in that kind of home. It IS a better life....and has nothing to do with spoiling a child. Again...you're only looking at money here, CD91.
But money plays a big factor in raising kids. Kids are expensive. And like I said, they get more expensive with each generation.
If parents aren't willing to spend a lot of money on their kids, they shouldn't have kids. Kids deserve the best. I know I wouldn't be willing/couldn't afford to give my kids the best, so that's one of the reasons I'm never having kids.
Parents know what they're getting into when they have kids. Or at least they should know. If they don't know what they're getting into, they shouldn't have kids.
You gave examples that have nothing to do with money. And yes, your examples are examples of a better life. There are some things money can't buy. But there are some things only money can buy.
Also, a better life will be different depending on how the parent grew up. If the parent grew up in the ghetto, it won't take much to give their kids a better life. If the parent grew up in a middle class household, the parents need to spoil their kids if they want to give them a better life.
But money plays a big factor in raising kids. Kids are expensive. And like I said, they get more expensive with each generation. BTW...another bologny statement!! Tell that to all the folks who raised their kids on a $2.50/hr minimum wage job! In so many ways, it's cheaper to raise my children than it was for my parents. Get this...when my parents were raising their kids....we had no Walmart, no Kmart, thrift stores were few and far between...no dollar stores. Imagine such a prehistoric time! I used to have to pay at LEAST $20 per pair for jeans...I can get my kid's jeans some jeans, on sale, at Walmart for around $10..if I watch the sales. I can buy him T-shirts for $2 on the clearance rack, IF I shop wisely. Yeah....back in the late 70s, you barely got a 1/2 decent wardrobe for under $300! You have NO idea, what it costs to raise kids these days. All kids do NOT have cell phones, all kids do NOT have their own computers, some homes don't even have one! In my day, you didn't have "unlimited distance" home phone plans. Depending on where you lived, your "local" call range, might be 10-20 miles in each direction.....anything past that was long distance! I know...prehistoric, huh?
If parents aren't willing to spend a lot of money on their kids, they shouldn't have kids. Kids deserve the best. I know I wouldn't be willing/couldn't afford to give my kids the best, so that's one of the reasons I'm never having kids.
Parents know what they're getting into when they have kids. Or at least they should know. If they don't know what they're getting into, they shouldn't have kids.
You gave examples that have nothing to do with money. And yes, your examples are examples of a better life. There are some things money can't buy. But there are some things only money can buy.
Also, a better life will be different depending on how the parent grew up. If the parent grew up in the ghetto, it won't take much to give their kids a better life. If the parent grew up in a middle class household, the parents need to spoil their kids if they want to give them a better life.
If parents aren't willing to spend a lot of money on their kids, they shouldn't have kids. Sorry son, absolute, total bologny, although that's certainly how businesses entice parents to max out their credit cards! If parents are not willing to put their child's "well-being" first, they shouldn't have kids. Putting a child's well-being first, includes teaching them how to survive on their own, without their parents! Teaching them independence and responsibility is paramount! Part of teaching your child how to survive, is teaching them and modeling for them the difference between wants/needs. Parents who cater to their children's every "want", have a tendency to have children who are unable to survive on their own.
Kids deserve the best The best according WHO? YOU? You're still a kid!
Do you really have any idea just how many parents out there, who should be looking at their "retirement" years closing in, don't own ANYTHING? So many folks live month to month, paying the interest on their credit..they'll never have any of it paid off! Meanwhile, their grown children are sitting on their butts, carrying around in their heads the illusion that their parents have so much....THEY should have it too! Wake up...most parents didn't have squat! Not until they EARNED it! Earn it yourself! Why should parents everywhere have to work for so many years that they never have the opportunity to enjoy their retirement. They should be able to SAVE for their retirement, not continue to work for their grown children!
You know what's really sad CD? You sit there at your computer (that your parents probably bought for you), never even have been able to get a girlfriend, never having actually supported yourself, yet telling people how they should be raising children. Really?
Would you explain how it's possible for a parent to give their kids a better life without spoiling them?
In order for a parent to give their kids a better life, the parent has to give their kids more than they had growing up. When you give your kids more than you had growing up, that makes them spoiled compared to you.
Spoiled implies ungrateful, entitled and unappreciative. It is possible to raise children who have "more" in both the tangible and intangible sense without them being ungrateful or unappreciative.
If parents aren't willing to spend a lot of money on their kids, they shouldn't have kids. Sorry son, absolute, total bologny, although that's certainly how businesses entice parents to max out their credit cards! If parents are not willing to put their child's "well-being" first, they shouldn't have kids. Putting a child's well-being first, includes teaching them how to survive on their own, without their parents! Teaching them independence and responsibility is paramount! Part of teaching your child how to survive, is teaching them and modeling for them the difference between wants/needs. Parents who cater to their children's every "want", have a tendency to have children who are unable to survive on their own.
Kids deserve the best The best according WHO? YOU? You're still a kid!
Do you really have any idea just how many parents out there, who should be looking at their "retirement" years closing in, don't own ANYTHING? So many folks live month to month, paying the interest on their credit..they'll never have any of it paid off! Meanwhile, their grown children are sitting on their butts, carrying around in their heads the illusion that their parents have so much....THEY should have it too! Wake up...most parents didn't have squat! Not until they EARNED it! Earn it yourself! Why should parents everywhere have to work for so many years that they never have the opportunity to enjoy their retirement. They should be able to SAVE for their retirement, not continue to work for their grown children!
You know what's really sad CD? You sit there at your computer (that your parents probably bought for you), never even have been able to get a girlfriend, never having actually supported yourself, yet telling people how they should be raising children. Really?
You're right. Not all kids have cell phones. Not all kids have computers. And some households don't even have a computer.
But compared to your day, way more houses have computers, way more kids have their own computer, and way more kids have cell phones.
As I said, this puts pressure on parents to give their kids material goods or they look like a bad parent. But in your day, it was just expected that no kids (or households for that matter) had cell phones or computers. Parents these days don't need to buy so many material goods for their kids. But the pressure is there. In your day, there was no pressure.
Sure, maybe clothing was expensive in your day, but it was a lot cheaper than all the material goods that so many kids these days have.
And you know another reason why kids are more expensive these days? College. That's right, college. Once upon a time, you could get a job with a high school diploma and work your way up. But those days are over. These days, a college degree is necessary if you want any hope of being successful (but there are exceptions). This is the reason why so many parents support their kids during college these days.
My parents are interested in teaching me how to live on my own without them. That's why I'm in college. My parents are willing to support me during college if it means I will be able to get a good job after college and support myself. If I never went to college, it would be hard to make enough money to support myself, so my parents would end up supporting me forever. Sure, they might save on college costs, but it would be more expensive in the long run.
When I say kids deserve the best, I'm thinking of what I want/wanted. I know I won't be able to provide that to my kids, so why have them? Right now, there are certain things I wish I could afford but can't. And my parents aren't willing to provide me with them, so I have no choice but to go without. I wouldn't want to live this way forever though (one of the reasons I'm in college...better job, better life). And my dad makes a lot of money. I don't expect to make anything near what he makes, so I would have to give my kids even less. Why should I put a kid through that?
If I had kids, I would suffer financially and the kid(s) would have a bad life growing up. That's a lose-lose scenario. I don't want to bring a kid into the world under those circumstances.
It's selfish to have kids if you want to be a miser toward them. If you don't want to spend much money on kids, then don't have kids in the first place. At least I admit I wouldn't be willing to spend money on kids so I'm never having them.
It's manipulative when parents try to dictate the way their kids live and they say "if you don't like it, you can leave." Kids are unable to support themselves so they have no choice but to live with their parents. Parents are taking advantage of the weak when they try to make their kids live a certain way. Believe me, if the kids had a chance of supporting themselves, they would leave. It's not their fault that they're too young to support themselves.
My dad's retirement is not in jeopardy. He makes a lot of money and has a lot of stuff. I won't say his income, but he showed me what it is, and it's high.
I know someone that's 29 and relies on his parents just as much as me. And his parents don't have much money. They truly are missing out on retirement because they support their grown kid. My dad's not missing out on retirement. He's 44, so retirement is a ways off for him. But like I said, it's actually cheaper in the long run for him to support me during college because I'm less likely to need financial support from him when I'm older.
And if you want spoiled, here's spoiled: I know someone that's 30 and has rich parents. His parents support him and he has a big house all to himself.
And I'm not telling other people how to raise their kids. I'm just saying, from my point of view, how I think kids should be raised. And I'm admitting I wouldn't be able to raise them that way, so I'm not having them.
And yes, my parents bought this laptop. But you know what? They wanted to buy me a new laptop for Christmas but I told them not to. I said I want to use this laptop until it dies.
Do you really have any idea just how many parents out there, who should be looking at their "retirement" years closing in, don't own ANYTHING? So many folks live month to month, paying the interest on their credit..they'll never have any of it paid off! Meanwhile, their grown children are sitting on their butts, carrying around in their heads the illusion that their parents have so much....THEY should have it too! Wake up...most parents didn't have squat! Not until they EARNED it! Earn it yourself! Why should parents everywhere have to work for so many years that they never have the opportunity to enjoy their retirement. They should be able to SAVE for their retirement, not continue to work for their grown children!
You know what's really sad CD? You sit there at your computer (that your parents probably bought for you), never even have been able to get a girlfriend, never having actually supported yourself, yet telling people how they should be raising children. Really?
That is pretty intense. It also presents a situation that I don't think is the norm. On top of that I think it can be counter productive. Very few parents of young adults I know just let their grown children sit on their butts, and not do anything. Generally, they require some sort of plan, or action from their children. I imagine that no good parent just lets their kids flounder without encouraging them to get/search for a job/purpose. I remember after living on my own for a while after college I took the LSAT, and did well enough so that I would consider applying to schools. I was fortunate enough to have parents that let me stay with them for several months so I could save up enough money from my job to live off of for a while when I went back to school. My mother and father did the same when they were just starting out. The reason being that "independence" can be terribly wasteful in unnecessarily duplicating bills, at least when you are trying to build up a cash reserve so that you can take the next life step.
bunch of stuff about my personal life that no one cares about
Dude, stop. What the other poster said was true of many. If it doesn't apply to you, it doesn't apply to you. You don't need to write a thousand words explaining it.
Would you explain how it's possible for a parent to give their kids a better life without spoiling them?
In order for a parent to give their kids a better life, the parent has to give their kids more than they had growing up. When you give your kids more than you had growing up, that makes them spoiled compared to you.
My parents gave me a better life by working hard and sacrificing to put more nutritious food on the table than their parents were able to give them, and sending me to better schools where I was challenged and put on the right track to getting into a good college where I could start my career off right, and by building a home in a good neighborhood where it was safe to play and develop a rich and healthy imagination.
I can't even comprehend a mentality where a 'better life' means spoiling a kid by filling their life with 'things' and not teaching them the value of hard work and sacrifice.
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