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Being a child of the 70's, I don't remember people leaving their kids in the car to die as much as I see it now a days.
The article states that these deaths have increased since the 1990s, when it was determined that children in car seats were safer in the back seat of the car.
Thank you for sharing that, Ivory. That must have been a terrifying day for you.
One of my coworkers said that she always puts her purse on the floor in front of the car seat so that she has to check the back seat as a matter of course. She said having a sticky purse full of cheerios is a small price to pay for peace of mind.
As human beings we have more in common with each other than we really believe is possible. Instead of persecuting these parents I offer prayers that they may stay strong, find peace to forgive themselves someday and move forward with their lives.
Additionally, I'm sure that baby was crying like crazy as the temperature escalated-- did nobody in the parking lot see or hear the child??
Once everyone in our building is at work, there's VERY LITTLE activity in our parking lot. If you're parked at the far side of the lot, it's very possible that very few people will even walk near your car until the end of the day.
My heart breaks for this family. There but for the grace of God go I. I will never forget the day I forgot my dd was in the car with me. It was a hot summer day. Dh normally dropped her off at day care on his way to work but I needed to drop her off that day because he had to go in early. To go to the day care, I needed to turn right out of our sub but without thinking made my normal left (she was very quiet in the back seat in a rear facing seat). Once I made that left, I swear I was on auto pilot. She never made a peep the entire trip. I have no idea what made me look back at the car when I got out after parking but thank God I did. I saw her move her hand. For a moment I was confused as to why she was in the car. I don't get how I could completely forget that she was in the car but I did. Once I made that left, it was any normal day and in my mind dh was dropping her off to day care. I thank God I looked back and saw her move her hand.
I recommend that all parents have a teddy bear that sits in the car seat when the child isn't in the car seat and up front with you when the child is in the car seat. The human brain does not process everything we experience. It would overload if it did. It will go on auto pilot to conserve energy. Years ago, I had a 45 mile commute to work and the number of days when I pulled into the parking lot and had absolutely no recollection of having driven those 45 miles is scary. We are creatures of habit and that unfortunately can result in tragedies like this.
You must have been so terrified at the thought of what almost happened. And people don't seem to understand that we are on autopilot so much of the time during daily activities; it can easily happen to anyone.
Thank you for sharing your story, and I am so glad that it wasn't a tragedy.
Thank you for sharing that, Ivory. That must have been a terrifying day for you.
One of my coworkers said that she always puts her purse on the floor in front of the car seat so that she has to check the back seat as a matter of course. She said having a sticky purse full of cheerios is a small price to pay for peace of mind.
Good practice.
What really shocked me here is my initial response wasn't "OMG I forgot the baby". It was "What's she doing in the car?". I didn't remember putting her in the car. It's like my brain overwrote that morning's evens with those of a typical morning the moment I made that left. In my mind she was with her father and headed off to day care. So much so that I was momentarily puzzled as to why she was in my car. I started keeping a stuffed animal in the car seat after that that I moved to the front seat if she was in the back. I like the purse too. We always pick our purses up when we get out of the car.
I think I had an angel watching out for me and my daughter that day.
From what I've read on this, it's usually a combination of stress, fatigue and deviation from the normal routine that leads to these tragedies. I was working full time, getting up at night to nurse and the normal routine was that my husband dropped her off to day care. The article linked goes into what happens in the brain. Our memories are not what we think they are. Have you ever noticed when you think of your childhood that it's very difficult to recall a typical day? They all blend together into one homogenous typical day. I grew up living with my mom. My father visited every few months. I have more memories of being with him as a child than I do of my mother. She fits into the typical day. He doesn't.
I can recall the day I almost left dd in the car like it happened 3 seconds ago. I can tell you the color of the car next to mine (dark blue). I can tell you the angle of the sun hitting the window (I thought her hand moving was the sun for a moment). That moment is burned in my memory. I've played it back to many times. There but for the grade of God go I.
Location: Prince Georges County, MD (formerly Long Island, NY)
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I'm going to give you all the benefit of the doubt here, since I'm not a parent.
Personally, if something small disrupts my routine, I'm usually cognizant instead of going into to cruise control. BUT, I don't usually remember the first five minutes of when I wake up, so if the Mrs. had to leave for work early and asked me to take little junior to daycare, I would've said okay and honestly forgotten ten minutes later-- possibly leaving the baby at home accidentally.
Like I said, I still don't see how you could leave a baby in the car (wouldn't you see it when you got out the car?), but there's enough responses here to substantiate that this is a real thing. I liked the idea of leaving a bag under the carseat, so when I have kids, I'll be sure to put my messenger bag under the baby's car seat-- no sense in leaving it to chance.
ETA: As I think about it, fatigue may play a role in it. I remember one Monday morning accidentally driving towards church instead of work because I didn't get much sleep and had spent the weekend volunteering at some church activities and then had a big project coming up at work. I guess it just goes to show you the importance of taking care of yourself
Being a child of the 70's, I don't remember people leaving their kids in the car to die as much as I see it now a days.
In this day and age there should no reason to leave your kid in the car for 2-6 hours
Throw the book at Him/Her
You didn't tie a child up and strap him down in a car seat in the 70s and people didn't have windows shut tight because of air conditioners, and it was common then for children to ride in the front seat, next to their parents. Putting infants in the back seat is just asking for trouble -- especially when people get into a routine and then change it, baby falls asleep, the parent is busy, tired, stressed, preoccupied, and can forget that it was their day to take the child to the sitters.
Now they're telling people to also put their cell phone in the back seat because for some reason people remember their cell phones better and when they go to get their cell phones, they might see the baby is there.
It was hearing horror stories such as these...or stories about people leaving pets in their vehicles, when I was a CHILD...that created that "common sense", "hyper-vigilance", survival mode sequence in my brain. Honestly, there are times when I've been completely spaced out and overtired, but at those times....there was always self talk going on in my head!
I mean....hey, there have been times when I've been so exhausted and out of it, that I've gone into frickin' panic mode, because I couldn't find my child....only to finally (on the verge of tears!!! ), remember that hubby had taken said child to TOWN with him!!!!! Forget my child or animal in a car? Not once...not ever, and for that, I am extremely grateful for that OC-hyperactive, protective mode. Call it paranoia....but LOL, my children are ALL alive and well and fairly un-traumatized!
The idea of teddy bears or bags or cell phones in the back seat as reminders- wouldn't these placements also go onto autopilot?
I think the big honking' cars/SUVs that so many people drive make it easier to forget what is in the back seat, and the tinted windows make it easier not to look inside once out of the car. I appreciated the article about upper and lower brain functions- that makes sense. I am not a parent but I certainly have wondered how a parent could make such a mistake and cause such a horrible death.
With all due respect, sincerely...you are definitely entitled to your opinion and I'll leave it at that.
I've said it here before...and I'll say it again!
There, but for the Grace of God, go I
If you're interested in how something like this could possibly happen, read the article that Emeraldmaiden posted; it is well written, thorough, incredibly sad, and nothing short of an eye opener. Read this article.
“Memory is a machine,” he says, “and it is not flawless. Our conscious mind prioritizes things by importance, but on a cellular level, our memory does not. If you’re capable of forgetting your cellphone, you are potentially capable of forgetting your child.”
...under some circumstances, the most sophisticated part of our thought-processing center can be held hostage to a competing memory system, a primitive portion of the brain that is -- by a design as old as the dinosaur’s -- inattentive, pigheaded, non-analytical, stupid.
I think that's the problem. For a lot of routines, we are on auto-pilot. How many of us remember the actual drive home from work 3 days ago, how long did you stop at a red light, what cars did you pass on the way home. Where were you parked that day.
It has to do with a routine, if for example we have a work holiday on Monday, it's easy to go through much of Tuesday thinking it's Monday. Or if you have several kids and find yourself going through several names to get to the right name for that kid -- it's not that you forgot the name of that kid.
And it's like coffee or anything, if you usually put the coffee in first, then one day put it on top of the car and put something else in first, you have a good chance of totally forgetting the coffee until you see the cup go flying off. Or when you intended to make a stop on the way home from work but ended up all the way home before you remembered you needed to make that stop.
If the parent had the child next to him or her in the front seat a whole lot less of this would happen. Put things that are needed for the day like purse, wallet, briefcase, and cell phone with the child so you always have to open the back door and retrieve them. Never leave your back windows all the way up until your kids are teenagers.
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), remember that hubby had taken said child to TOWN with him!!!!! Forget my child or animal in a car? Not once...not ever, and for that, I am extremely grateful for that OC-hyperactive, protective mode. Call it paranoia....but LOL, my children are ALL alive and well and fairly un-traumatized! 
