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Old 04-20-2015, 10:19 AM
 
451 posts, read 356,938 times
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When my little girl was in the second grade, she had a classmate (let's call him "John") who appeared to be a quadriplegic in addition to some other problems. He came to school in his wheel chair with an oxygen tank etc.

Some days I'd ask her what she did at recess and her reply was "oh, I just went over and sat with John, he looked bored and lonely".

She said pretty much all of the students would make it a point to try to include him in their fun even though he couldn't participate. They could see him smile!
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Old 04-20-2015, 10:20 AM
 
1,270 posts, read 760,162 times
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Jeez, when I was a kid the idea of cake would've been more than enough to motivate me to attend a birthday party. Special needs be d@mned

That said, if I didn't want to go, but was forced to, I seriously doubt I'd be very fun to hang out with. I get the teachable moment thing, but I don't want to be the kind of parent who has to use the threat of discipline to teach my children how to be nice to people with disabilites. Mine are young right now, but if this comes up, I hope I can persuade them to go using empathy. If they really insist they don't want to, then I won't force it.

OP, this is a nice story, and it made me smile. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-20-2015, 10:25 AM
 
17,265 posts, read 14,837,493 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivory Lee Spurlock View Post
I'm not totally buying that story. Unless she has a very small amount of class mates, it seems strange that 100% of her classmates didnt show up or at least call and say they cant make it. Unless everyone of her class mates and their parents are downnright rude and inconsiderate there has to be more to this story.
Some of them did call and cancel, and between those and the kids who never RSVP'd, the mom knew no one was coming, and her child would be sad, so she put the call out on her FB page asking friends with girls ages 9-11 to please come even if for a minute just to say Happy Birthday. As we know, the tale spread and she ended up with 300 guests, along with donated food, etc....what's not to "buy" here, I don't get it...
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Old 04-20-2015, 10:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
I'm playing devil's advocate here.

While I know your motivation was kindness, you forced a child on the other kids that they didn't appear to know on a special trip that wasn't an every day event. They didn't invite the child. You did. I don't know the situation with the other child. Accepting new people takes time. Introducing a child that doesn't interact well takes even more time especially when being introduced to a clique of cousins. I think your intentions were good, but maybe it was the wrong time and place. A shy child would probably do better with one other kid at a time until they get they know them better. Would it have been nice for her to make the kids include the boy? Yes. She may have seen how the kids were avoiding the other child and didn't want to hurt his feelings even further when the other kids had a meltdown or said something. The mom was in a tough place and probably had other things on her mind. If this problem was known to be common for this child, then she just let it be.
They are kids, I don't care what they want and don't want, they are 5, and they are being given a gift of a party at an amusement park, and if told to share, you better share...no kid WANTS to share toys or the TV or anything else...you make them and that's it....since when do 5 year olds get to dictate things like that? It's nuts IMO to not correct them, and highly irresponsible.

IF the kids are 16 they can have a say, not at 5, sorry. IMO they behaved like ungrateful brats that day and their mom should have been appalled by it IMO.
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Old 04-20-2015, 10:37 AM
 
17,265 posts, read 14,837,493 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by O.C. Ogilvy View Post
You talk about preparing them for the world, but what about the kid with the birthday party? They ought to be forced to learn(or socialized, to use your term) that the real world doesn't revolve around them and in that real world you must be accepted by a group before you can be part of one. That takes some initiative.
She showed initiative by inviting them to her party, did she not? They're classmates, doesn't that make her part of the group? You think the problem here is that this little girl who has struggled her entire life hasn't been told yet it's a harsh world? Somehow I think her and her family already know that...it has nothing at all to do with socializing our own kids in a way that they contribute to the world in a positive way.
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Old 04-20-2015, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Way up high
14,072 posts, read 20,152,634 times
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I saw this and felt really bad for her but glad it had a happy ending!
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Old 04-20-2015, 11:05 AM
 
3,207 posts, read 2,816,017 times
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Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
She showed initiative by inviting them to her party, did she not? They're classmates, doesn't that make her part of the group? You think the problem here is that this little girl who has struggled her entire life hasn't been told yet it's a harsh world? Somehow I think her and her family already know that...it has nothing at all to do with socializing our own kids in a way that they contribute to the world in a positive way.
I believe the other poster was referring to the situation with the nephew, not the girl in the story.
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Old 04-20-2015, 11:08 AM
 
3,207 posts, read 2,816,017 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
They are kids, I don't care what they want and don't want, they are 5, and they are being given a gift of a party at an amusement park, and if told to share, you better share...no kid WANTS to share toys or the TV or anything else...you make them and that's it....since when do 5 year olds get to dictate things like that? It's nuts IMO to not correct them, and highly irresponsible.

IF the kids are 16 they can have a say, not at 5, sorry. IMO they behaved like ungrateful brats that day and their mom should have been appalled by it IMO.
I wasn't there as a witness so I don't know the actual behavior involved. Even as an adult going to another adult's family party, it gets uncomfortable sometimes. A stranger's birthday party simply may not have been the right venue.
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Old 04-20-2015, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Princeton
1,078 posts, read 1,052,942 times
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Happy Birthday Mackenzie. All the best wishes..
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Old 04-20-2015, 11:14 AM
 
4,749 posts, read 6,152,867 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by O.C. Ogilvy View Post
In the not too distant future, it will be a hate crime to not RSVP to a child's birthday party invitation, especially if they have a "disability". Penalty: minimum 5 years imprisonment.
Yes, but it appears it will never be a hate crime for black men to stand on a street corner and yell, "We're gonna kill all white people!!" and talk about killing their babies, putting a sword to people's throats, etc.

I do think it was very sweet of all the people to show up, but the posters who were on the side of not forcing children to go to parties of people they don't know well had some valid points also. I'm on the fence, undecided....
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