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I think that, as parents, we should force our kids to go to the birthday party of unpopular children (especially those with special needs). It would teach them to be compassionate and sensitive to other people's feelings, to be open minded about interacting with people whom you don't normally mingle with (you just might like them), and to not care about what others think. I am glad that the parents of those 300 kids did this.
Mick
How do you teach someone to be open minded by forcing them to do something?
I think that, as parents, we should force our kids to go to the birthday party of unpopular children (especially those with special needs). It would teach them to be compassionate and sensitive to other people's feelings, to be open minded about interacting with people whom you don't normally mingle with (you just might like them), and to not care about what others think. I am glad that the parents of those 300 kids did this.
Mick
Ah, the freedom....
If I was forced to attend a birthday party I did not want to go to, as a kid, I would not only have gone, but I would have raised hell there. Encourage to attend - yes, force - no. I don't think the parents of those 300 kids did any forcing either. Most kids will be only happy to go to a birthday party.
I wouldn't be too harsh on the other kids. I have kids. We don't attend all of the parties for which we receive invitations. Sometimes it is just too much. If my child really wasn't friends with the other child, then I can see the other kids not attending.
Your post is a prime example of why kids grow up thinking only of themselves! This was a special girl, a girl with a serious health issue. Perfect time to teach your children to think of others and go out of their way to help and be kind to another person.
How do you teach someone to be open minded by forcing them to do something?
It's called socializing them, teaching them how to behave in the world. This reminds me of my little 5 year old nephew's birthday party we had last summer at an amusement park. I have a friend who was taking care of a grandbaby the same age...the boy was almost pathologically shy and had no friends (he wasn't in school yet). So I asked my nephew's Mom if he could come, and I'd buy his ticket....all went well...except my nephews and their cousins almost went out of their way to lock out the little boy from the festivities...when we tried to get one of them to sit next to him on a ride, they'd say "I don't want to sit with HIM". Their mom didn't do a thing! I was appalled. I thought she should have pulled them aside and told them to include this boy and to be nice to him. She was like "they're only 5!" That is the first and only time I can ever remember being ashamed of my nephews.
Kids aren't born knowing what behavior is expected of them, they need adults to teach it, and that invitation was a teachable moment that unfortunately many parents don't care about anymore.
Your post is a prime example of why kids grow up thinking only of themselves! This was a special girl, a girl with a serious health issue. Perfect time to teach your children to think of others and go out of their way to help and be kind to another person.
No. My kids do make friends with disabilities such as autism. They have gone to their friend's parties. When you're a kid, there are parties or events just about every single weekend. We sometimes have to say no to going to parties of even really good friends because of various reasons. As a parent, I don't always know who has a disability and who doesn't. I only see the children's classmates for a few minutes when I walk into their classrooms. Pointing out other people's disabilities isn't something I've taught my kids. I also don't teach my kids to exclude other kids. If the only thing I know about the other child is that my child doesn't really hang out with them and my child doesn't push to attend the party. I'd be happy to say 'Whew. I get a chance to sleep in this morning."
We don't know what happened from the side of the invited kids. They were sort of vilified without us knowing the reasons why they didn't attend. It's easy to say the kids should have gone for someone not involved in the situation, but we don't know the full story there.
I'm not totally buying that story. Unless she has a very small amount of class mates, it seems strange that 100% of her classmates didnt show up or at least call and say they cant make it. Unless everyone of her class mates and their parents are downnright rude and inconsiderate there has to be more to this story.
In a younger grade my daughter was invited to a boys party. He had developmental delays (not super serious but enough to make him "odd"). We did encourage her to go even though there was another event that day - she was one of 2 kids out of 10 that went. They had a great time but my heart broke as much for the mom as the boy. The younger we teach kids to consider how much their decision matters to others the better.
It's called socializing them, teaching them how to behave in the world. This reminds me of my little 5 year old nephew's birthday party we had last summer at an amusement park. I have a friend who was taking care of a grandbaby the same age...the boy was almost pathologically shy and had no friends (he wasn't in school yet). So I asked my nephew's Mom if he could come, and I'd buy his ticket....all went well...except my nephews and their cousins almost went out of their way to lock out the little boy from the festivities...when we tried to get one of them to sit next to him on a ride, they'd say "I don't want to sit with HIM". Their mom didn't do a thing! I was appalled. I thought she should have pulled them aside and told them to include this boy and to be nice to him. She was like "they're only 5!" That is the first and only time I can ever remember being ashamed of my nephews.
Kids aren't born knowing what behavior is expected of them, they need adults to teach it, and that invitation was a teachable moment that unfortunately many parents don't care about anymore.
I'm playing devil's advocate here.
While I know your motivation was kindness, you forced a child on the other kids that they didn't appear to know on a special trip that wasn't an every day event. They didn't invite the child. You did. I don't know the situation with the other child. Accepting new people takes time. Introducing a child that doesn't interact well takes even more time especially when being introduced to a clique of cousins. I think your intentions were good, but maybe it was the wrong time and place. A shy child would probably do better with one other kid at a time until they get they know them better. Would it have been nice for her to make the kids include the boy? Yes. She may have seen how the kids were avoiding the other child and didn't want to hurt his feelings even further when the other kids had a meltdown or said something. The mom was in a tough place and probably had other things on her mind. If this problem was known to be common for this child, then she just let it be.
It's called socializing them, teaching them how to behave in the world. This reminds me of my little 5 year old nephew's birthday party we had last summer at an amusement park. I have a friend who was taking care of a grandbaby the same age...the boy was almost pathologically shy and had no friends (he wasn't in school yet). So I asked my nephew's Mom if he could come, and I'd buy his ticket....all went well...except my nephews and their cousins almost went out of their way to lock out the little boy from the festivities...when we tried to get one of them to sit next to him on a ride, they'd say "I don't want to sit with HIM". Their mom didn't do a thing! I was appalled. I thought she should have pulled them aside and told them to include this boy and to be nice to him. She was like "they're only 5!" That is the first and only time I can ever remember being ashamed of my nephews.
Kids aren't born knowing what behavior is expected of them, they need adults to teach it, and that invitation was a teachable moment that unfortunately many parents don't care about anymore.
You talk about preparing them for the world, but what about the kid with the birthday party? They ought to be forced to learn(or socialized, to use your term) that the real world doesn't revolve around them and in that real world you must be accepted by a group before you can be part of one. That takes some initiative.
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That is the first and only time I can ever remember being ashamed of my nephews. 
