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If you're going to pick on men for being sexually unattractive, surely you'll acknowledge that the record rates of obesity among young women have the same effect?
It isn't just fat or unattractive, there is mental illness. For instance Elliot Rodger was not a bad looking guy, he was mentally ill and didn't understand how that impacted his relationships or lack of. It was all about Chad this and Stacy that, not Elliot is really sick in the head. Take someone as sick as Elliot and put him in a basement with unlimited Hot Pockets and porn, and you have these completely unaware and unhygienic neck beards who think the world has wronged them.
There are plenty of fat normal people who have relationships, male and female.
I don't think dating or relationships would change much if everyone lost weight.
I don’t think she’s picking on them, just pointing out the absurdity of them complaining that there’s something wrong with the women in society because they can’t get women. The overweight obese women are not out there starting websites complaining how life is unfair because they can’t date “Chad”. Most women date within their league, which men used to do as well. Seems only in recent times that every man thinks they’re entitled to a hot cheerleader no matter what they look like or even have in common with her.
While the overweight and obese women are not "dating Chad", overweight and obese women do not have a shortage of sexual prospects. If you look at the match queues for most overweight women on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge, they have enough horny men who are interested in them for shorter term sexual relief.
The bottom to the middle tier of dating pool is the major difference between men and women. Bottom/middle women have more sexual options than bottom to middle men. While these women may not get commitments and illusionary monogamy via a 1+ year long relationship or a marriage, they can get their sexual needs met instantaneously. According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the physical act of sex is more important than the intimacy/emotional connection/companionship needs of a romantic relationship. For the bottom to middle tier of women, they are more likely to be lacking only a middle of the hierarchy needs, whereas a man is more likely to be missing both of base human need on par with food and water, and a middle of the hierarchy need. The woman is in a better position.
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Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
I actually think the biggest reason that people have a harder time meeting a mate today is the increased isolation from community. People used to meet their mate through their social circles through their friends through their neighbors, at church etc. now people move to places where they don’t know anyone and they don’t have establish social circles and they don’t have a community of people introducing them to other people. The modern methods we have to meet people mainly via the computer, just don’t work neither for men or for women. I did online dating on and off for probably 10 to 15 years I never had great success with it. And then my best friend’s brother introduced me to one of his friends who is now my fiancé. It was natural, and it was easy. I think that is what’s missing in today’s culture.
This is mostly correct.
The increased isolation from the community is truly on point. Church attendance is down and it is more difficult to meet people at work, partially due to #MeToo but more practically due to the fact that job interviewing has gotten more difficult over time, hitting peak difficulty during the late 2000s/early 2010s.
Your point about apps is correct, but ignores the fact that apps are highly male. In Calfornia, 78% of apps are male, and the state with the best ratio is Wyoming, which is 64% male. Wise men should avoid that venue due to the inherent disadvantage. The Bay Area and San Diego are highly male in general, but apps are even worse than the general market. This is also how overweight women are able to mate upwards, at least temporarily on the apps.
I have been isolated from the communities in which I live due to multiple childhood and adulthood moves. The people that tend to be most successful with having longer duration relationships are people that tend to stay close to where they lived from ages 0-18 and never really left, with possibly an exception of a 4 year college stint. These are the people who are able to date through their social circles, most importantly because they actually have social circles capable of producing introductions. The people who frequently move can find friends upon moves, as I have, but they usually don't break into the meaningful social circles in whichever cities that they are in at a given moment, forcing them to rely upon some combination of apps, cold approaching (men)/fielding cold approaches (women) at bars, or cold approaching (men)/fielding cold approaches (women) at grocery stores, malls, gyms/fitness classes, or on walking paths/the street/public transit. Since I know that apps are bad, I've been a maniac cold approacher, which has a greater degree of difficulty than meeting through social circles.
You're exactly right on what is missing. While I've had some success in cold approaching, everything would have been easier without the frequent moves and having had the ability to nurture a social circle in one given location.
Last edited by RJ312; 11-03-2019 at 10:25 AM..
Reason: syntax error
Yes like your average Joe has the means to pick up and move abroad.
Many immigrants coming to the USA are quite poor, and probably scrimped and saved for their immigration move. Moving from a high-cost-of-living country to a lower-cost-of-living country isn't as labor-intensive financially. The real problem is finding a job once you immigrate, if you're not of retirement age, combined with learning a new language well enough to conduct business in it. As well as adjusting to a new culture and food, like eating baked potatoes with aji sauce instead of sour cream, and seeing all the stores closed during Holy Week.
As America declines further and further, I can see a large-scale immigration out of the USA on the horizon. If not in my lifetime, then in the next generation's.
Yes like your average Joe has the means to pick up and move abroad.
The average Joe doesn't. I'm not entirely an average Joe but I did look into an international relocation in my mid-20s (in mid-30s now) and concluded that I couldn't make it feasible.
I looked into a few nations in South America due to my Spanish fluency. Work authorization was the primary issue for why I couldn't make the move, and getting hired there was seemingly impossible. If I could have built a location independent business, there's a decent chance I would have expatted out of the U.S., but business formation and launching is difficult, especially when the era in which I was looking to do this was the recessionary period of the late 2000s/early 2010s.
Even with expatting, I would have still run into one key problem that I have in the United States. I do not have a good social network in any geography. I have mostly been an offline cold approacher, and that's a tougher path to follow, even within the United States as opposed to some nation in South America. While I think the nations in South America would have provided a healthier mating environment, not having a social network there and doing everything in a 2nd language that I am less skilled in would have been tremendously difficult.
There is a glut of man-children, pajama boys, obese autistic neckbeards like never before. Of course there is going to be less sex and fewer relationships. These guys think it is women being picky but do they not see what they are. They think if it was thirty years ago they could get women, not true. Nerds back then were much more palatable compared to what is lurking in dark basements now. Some of these shut-in incels would even be housed in asylums in past generations, NOT getting dates with the girl next door. Nerds in the past didn't shoot schools up or run down sidewalks with vans either whether they ever landed a girl or not.
Your colorful descriptions really crack me up. "Pajama boys and neck beards"! Hate that stuff!
On a more serious note, I agree with your last sentence, too.
Oh yay, is this now the Incel Whine Thread about how women are so evil? Fun.
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Originally Posted by lieqiang
No. Many women are indeed attracted to material wealth.
Give visit Isan and see how many Thai women are married to shriveled white foreigners twice their age who offer nothing more than a steady pension check that is 3x higher than avg local income. Their man isn't high testosterone (any more), isn't dominant over anyone, but they have the nicest scooter and the only house in town with AC units in every window.
Somehow I don't think comparing a poor woman from the middle of nowhere who doesn't want to spend the rest of her life slogging through mud behind a ควาย (in the middle of nowhere) to the kind of woman these guys like to complain about who only dates guys with Porsches works out too well...
People are moving here for jobs and free stuff. If the economy hits the skids or the free stuff stops, immigration will cease to be so attractive.
More socialism will cause more companies to move out for greener pastures, and America will get much poorer.
What greener pastures? I think if America really hits the skids, it's going to be a glocal recession and the economy is going to crash just as much if not more in the poor countries that are sending migrants. So anyone leaving would just be going from the frying pan into the fire.
It isn't just fat or unattractive, there is mental illness. For instance Elliot Rodger was not a bad looking guy, he was mentally ill and didn't understand how that impacted his relationships or lack of. It was all about Chad this and Stacy that, not Elliot is really sick in the head. Take someone as sick as Elliot and put him in a basement with unlimited Hot Pockets and porn, and you have these completely unaware and unhygienic neck beards who think the world has wronged them.
Blah, blah, blah, you're just bashing men.
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There are plenty of fat normal people who have relationships, male and female.
I don't think dating or relationships would change much if everyone lost weight.
Then why did you mention overweight men in your previous post? And then pivot to mental illness when I pointed out that there are actually more obese women?
More than anything this highlights the need to move away from a capitalistic society where things like a depression really don't exist. A depression or recession is really just a tipping point of the consentual taking advantage of shared human emotions. An economy that ultimately doesn't actually try to improve the lives of one another, but demises new ways of taking advantage of each other is a cut throat, but effective way of aquiring all we ever need. The thing is we have aquired all we need, and this very real reality needs to be recognized, and a capitalistic society doesn't thrive off of this it thrives off of illusion, and we're reminded of this Everytime there's a recession or depression winch in reality don't exist especially in a society that has all it needs. We inadvertently hold our selves back by associating our darkest feelings to depressions and the like winch creates an invisible dellusonal mental bubble for our society ultimately holding it back. Every person is equal, and until we create a system that recognizes this REALITY, we'll always have a half assed society that will ultimately fall because the foundation that it's built on doesn't exist!!
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