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My daughter's now ex-fiance's dog had puppies a couple years ago. He decided to keep one even though his father made him immediately get rid of the mother and father dog for having puppies. How dare they!!!! So my rescue took them both in, had them vetted and found them good homes. All's well.
Shortly there after my daughter said he couldn't afford to get her vaccines done so I told her to bring 'Munchi' to the house and I'd vaccinated and de-worm her and give her a dose of Frontline. I did all of her vaccines (DAPPv) and had her spayed and her rabies done, as well as de-worming her myself or sending the meds home with puppy. Over the next year and a half I paid for an emergency vet visit (thankfully was nothing) as well as bought them or donated food to them for her.
About six months ago or so my daughter called and said that her at the time fiance's father (who they'd been living with) had started putting Munchi outside while she was in school (her senior year). She'd get home and find her panting like crazy. No dog house or shelter of any kind, and no bowl of water. It was in April or May and temps were well into the 80s and 90s. She kept bringing her back in and telling him he can't put her outside during the day like that; it's too hot. Because she's a brachy mix breed she doesn't need to be in extreme temps. Then she came home one day to him complaining that all she does is dig holes in the yard all day and she can't stay and they've got to take her to the shelter.
My daughter's like me, there's not a dog alive she doesn't love. And this dog is her 'baby'. She was sobbing. I was ticked; if you're that upset pack you bags and come home. You can even bring the jerk fiance if that's what it takes. But she wouldn't come back, just asked me to take the dog. So I did. It's my grandpuppy after all and I've really been taking care of her most of her life. I told my daughter I'd get her on line and find her a family but she begged me to keep her. Said she'd start looking for a place of her own where she could keep her. So here she's been for half a year, maybe more.
In that time I've housebroken her and got her to where she's actually a good dog. She was a beast when she came here. They'd obviously never done much in the lines of training her. She still acts like a puppy a lot; recently she and the special needs chi mix foster boy I have ate the arm of my couch for example. But other than that, she's really a very sweet little girl.
All along he's been here one time. Now, when he was here it was obvious he loves her. But that's the only time in six months or more that he's seen her. He's never given me a penny for food, preventative meds, etc. I've updated her shots and had a micro-chip implanted.
So, daughter finally pulls her head out of her butt and breaks off the engagement to the now ex fiance. Phew! The next day he texts her and says he's coming to pick up Munchi. I said 'no he's not, she's my dog'. My daughter was shocked and said she wanted him to have her back. I told her too bad, he's not visited or helped support her and he surrendered her to keep her from going to the shelter. Her argument is he loves the dogs and she has been his since he picked her out of the litter. My argument is he's still living with his father who is a VERY irresponsible pet owner. He's bought more puppies from BYBs and then given them away within months for stupid reasons (they're not housebroken at 4 months, they chew things up, they bark, etc) and has had dogs he lets run the neighborhood get hit by cars and killed.
I don't doubt he loves the dog. I've seen him with her. However, he's in no position where he's living to have a dog. His father has pulled this too often and I'm not going to have him take her back and ruin the training I've put into her just to have his dad get a feather up his butt and say she's got to go. I don't want her coming back and having to go through training all over and I don't want her in a shelter. He's also not working so he has no way to support her. She shouldn't have to go without dog food and only eat table scraps, she shouldn't have to have her vaccines lapse and she definitely shouldn't have to go without heartworm and flea prevention.
My first answer had been when he's in a place of his own where he's allowed to have an indoor dog and he can financially support her he's welcome to have her back. Now I'm feeling that even on the very off chance that happens he wouldn't keep her trained or taken care of properly. There's more to having a dog than putting dog food in a bowl. I've not said anything to either of them, but hubby and I talked and agreed and we feel she's our dog and we should leave it that way. I really doubt he'd ever be in a position to care for her and doubt he'd really push it and want to. So this may not even be an issue anyway. But if it is................what do you think?? Am I being over protective? Am I feeling this way because - quite frankly - I don't personally like him??
With as long as you've had that dog, and all you've done for it, that's your dog IMO. No way would I let him have it. And if the guy argues, your name is on vet paperwork, isn't it? What is his name on? Nothing. I'm surprised your daughter doesn't feel the same way.
from a legal standpoint, you have provided for the dog financially (medical food ect) and its yours...so from that standpoint your safe. as long as your name is on the vet paperwork...
from a personal opinion standpoint, id be about as likely to give that dog back to that guy as pigs are to sprout wings and fly.
i think your daughter probably just feels guilty about the break up and figures by "being nice" on the dog front shes making up for it..
but NO your not being unreasonable or overprotective...
to me whats going on here would be the equivalent of someone hading you their 2yr old child because it wasnt cute anymore and comming back 20 some years later after the kid graduates college and becomes a dr or something and demanding them back...
you do all the work and they reap the rewards...i dont think so, this dog deserves you, the one whos provided it not only financially and medically, but love and structure too!
With as long as you've had that dog, and all you've done for it, that's your dog IMO. No way would I let him have it. And if the guy argues, your name is on vet paperwork, isn't it? What is his name on? Nothing. I'm surprised your daughter doesn't feel the same way.
Yep, our name is on everything. Actually, I think the rescue's name is on everything.
I think daughter feels the same but she's torn. She knows he cares about the dog and she doesn't like confrontation. He's still texting and harassing her about it. I keep telling her to give him my number. He's more than welcome to call me but he won't. He knows he can manipulate her. Me..........not so much. LOL
Honestly, with the texts she's forwarded to me from him, I think the only reason he wanted her back was an excuse to get to my daughter again. You should see the stuff he's sending her. One minute he wants to talk. The next she gets a picture of him and his new GF that he was living with less than two weeks after daughter moved out. Text saying it's from the new GF from his phone and saying she wants daughter to see how happy she makes him. *gag* Then text from him he misses her and wants to change. Then text that she's a horrible person and he's so happy they split up. Good grief. Grow up. So I think she just wanted him to have her back so he had no reason to contact her again. When he packed her things he added some of his clothes and a picture of him. She had a guy friend take them all back to him. LOL I think he's just beating her down. Told her to change her phone number and block him on Facebook. Doesn't need such childish antics from him.
yeah she needs to remove that idiot from her life completly...hes going to keep playing these games with her because he knows it gets a reaction...
but that parts up to her...
the dog...thats up to YOU and your making the right choice!
How would you like to call this jerk your son in law? What if he had gotten your daughter pregnant? Is this how he would treat a child? You are a good person and are entitled by love to keep this lucky dog...lucky to have you in her life. Your daughter has one screw loose ....can't pick boyfriends to save her soul.
How would you like to call this jerk your son in law? What if he had gotten your daughter pregnant? Is this how he would treat a child? You are a good person and are entitled by love to keep this lucky dog...lucky to have you in her life. Your daughter has one screw loose ....can't pick boyfriends to save her soul.
i don't think very many of us made wise boyfriend decisions when young and blinded by "love" .....
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Like him or not...
Text saying it's from the new GF from his phone and saying she wants daughter to see how happy she makes him. *gag* Then text from him he misses her and wants to change. Then text that she's a horrible person and he's so happy they split up. Good grief. Grow up. So I think she just wanted him to have her back so he had no reason to contact her again. When he packed her things he added some of his clothes and a picture of him. She had a guy friend take them all back to him. LOL I think he's just beating her down. Told her to change her phone number and block him on Facebook. Doesn't need such childish antics from him.
