Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wanted to first start off by saying that I am not a parent (yet). I am not a kid either just got out of college.
A trend I have noticed here on city-data is this obsession regarding "best school district". Now to clear things up, when moving to a new place with a family, I can certainly see that as being a top 3 choice of neighborhood to move into.
However, it strikes me as odd, when helicopter moms freak out about the situation. I mean, I recently bought a house in San Diego. Its beautiful here in San Diego, but the "school district" where I live, is not the most prominent nor is it at the bottom when it comes to API or performance index scores.
It seem parents get crazy about these scores and the apply it to their child(children). What am I missing here?
When I grew up, my parental units were very involved in my life, for which I am grateful for. It was their close eye that kept me inline, made sure I made good deisions and gave me the freedoms I required growing up.
I was never a great student in school and chose to put more focus on my athletics.
Now, my "scoring" as a student probably skewed statistics for the whole of the school because I was again, mediocre but by no means was I a bad kid, nor a kid that was NOT going to be a productive member of society at some point. School was just something that never engaged me and it wasnt because of a 'bad' environment due to overall API scores, it was me.
Why do parents worry so much about this? Do some parents just want the schools to do all the work?
There are plenty of kids that dont go to very good school distrcits that go on to very well respected universities and become somebody in life. My neighbors kids are going to USC and UCLA. The families they come from a modest, blue collar folk. They are just good kids that have the aptitude to take on more that others.
But again that has more to do with the individual and the parents influence than anything else.
Fast forward to today and I am what most would call 'successful'. But I am also someone that makes sound decisions and have a good moral compass.
Can someone please shed some light on this? I am really having a hard time coming to grips with this. As I potentially start arriving into parenthood, this strikes me as odd.
As a society and culture, we like rankings and quantitative data. And there is a certain status to having that which is ranked first. What people forget is that not every top-ranked district is right for every kid, and a lot of other factors, like parental involvement for example, play a role in a child's success in school. Furthermore, success in school doesn't always equal success in life.
So while I can understand wanted a well-regarded district for the kids, I agree with your premise that people may go overboard in thinking they have to be in the 'best' district.
A lot of upper middle class parents don't want their children mixing with lower class kids. That's pretty much what drives it. Where I live we have large school districts so this selectiveness goes all the way down to the school level, even though all the schools in the district have same levels and quality of teachers, facilities, curriculum, and funding.
Thanks cava and maf763. Its disturbing and curious. I can even hardly imagine that parents reading this that do fit the criteria, dare to answer this post.
I have to say though, that this phenomena is a suburb thing. I grew up in a very well to do part of NYC. NO PARENT would ever say some of the rubbish that I hear from the upper middle class suburban folks. Modesty goes a long way in life, but I guess that is not the status quo.
There seems to be absolutely no correlation between success in life and the schools or school district. Ultimately dont we all want kids to be a success at whatever it is they are going to apply to?
An individuals performance and support system seems far more relevant to that notion. Granted I can see this applying for 'out of the norm' kids that are really academically, athletically focused and need further stimulation, thus going to specialized schools for math wizards etc. But again , they are not the status quo.
This really is very characteristic of the bourgeoisie: image and reputation matter more than actual content. One thing that I have learned is that reputation and status these days mean nothing and are determined by everything but actual character or tangible content. It's usually a case of one well-respected person (or a few people) characterizing something as "good" or "bad" and others following suit without thinking for themselves or testing the premise according to their own standards. In such a case, parents lull themselves into a false sense of security wrt their child's education: they figure that a "good" school district will ensure an education and attendance to a "good" uni. Parents such as these are usually very competitive and want "only the best," regardless of any real, positive results that it has on their lives or the lives of their children. It's definitely a status thing.
Moreover, self-conscious parents want people to know that they care about their kids, so they make sure that they are in a "best" or "good" school district so that they are not seen as neglectful/crazy by other parents. There is often no real evaluation of the district or the school by one's own standards, which is perfect for the busy, status-conscious parent who simply wants to pick a school that will ensure that they and their children fit in with the "right" people to acquire a "good" reputation and be done with it.
There are certainly those parents who care about their children's educations, and there are certainly districts that deserve "best" status. However, more often than not, you find parents stating that the school that their child is attending is a "great" school, regardless of whether it actually is or not, b/c the parents see the school as a reflection of themselves and their kids and they are not about to admit that their child's school is crappy (b/c then that would mean that they are crappy).
It certainly has become problematic, as more and more schools are described and labeled erroneously so that people and children are not negatively labeled and treated accordingly by status-conscious bullies.
So, to the OP, yeah, I completely agree. But then, this is why the kids from the "best" school districts are often not going to top schools, b/c, although they've gone to the "best" schools, there is very little "best" content there. Thus, in the end, you find that the label of "best" is not always indicative of the "best," even at the university level.
I attended a really, really crappy school district, the poorest in the city. I am doing quite well for myself and a fellow alum is a Stanford grad. When people ask what high school I went to, they sometimes get a little disturbed. I can sense it.
As a new parent I initially worried about these things so I can understand the desire or wanting "the best", but the longer I was a parent the more insight I came by and I let myself relax.
I've really made my life motto "good enough"..lol.
As a new parent I initially worried about these things so I can understand the desire or wanting "the best", but the longer I was a parent the more insight I came by and I let myself relax.
I've really made my life motto "good enough"..lol.
Ceece,
Exactly what I was thinking.
At least when the kids get older, you dont have to have " I sacrificed EVERYTHING to put you into the best schools" speech. No pressure. lol
Its because the "kids dont any better" and you have to think for them right? lol
I attended a really, really crappy school district, the poorest in the city. I am doing quite well for myself and a fellow alum is a Stanford grad. When people ask what high school I went to, they sometimes get a little disturbed. I can sense it.
Thanks skeet09. What happened?!!
You werent supposed to be successful!!! City-data said the schools you went to would have predicted you being a complete failure in life lol
Great points!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
