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Hey everyone. I made an account just to ask this question (lol).
As of right now I live in Toledo. I hate Toledo and everything about this godforsaken city. I can honestly say there's nothing keeping me here. My family hates me, I have no close friends or relatives other than my parents. I feel as though if I stay in Toledo, hell, Ohio in general I'm going to be working at target sitting in my parents basement smoking weed for the rest of my life.
I'm 19, I graduated high school last year but never went to college. My marks were poop so I didn't take the time to apply anywhere and just focused on working. I'm bored with working now, I'm bored with everything here because everything is just so routine. I really want to move away and goto community college, get a part time job and a small apartment and work my way up from there but I know it's easier said then done. As much as it'd be nice to have a family member that I could stay with that lived in another state...I don't. Pretty much all of my family lives around Ohio and as I said I'm not close with really anyone but my parents. I have some aunts that live in Detroit, but for obvious reasons that's not the route I'm trying to take. I have an older cousin in Florida that I clicked with really well but we've only met once. We've kept in touch via facebook & texts, but I highly doubt shed let me room with her. Also Florida's marijuana laws a little too strict for my liking. Other than that, I have no one so I'd be doing this move completely...alone.
I just want some advice on taking the first step? The first step to leaving. I don't have much money but I do have a job so I can begin to save. How much should I save? I was thinking 10 grand would be a good start, if I found a roommate and what not. My goal for saving was 15, once I hit 15 grand I planned on leaving regardless. Also what would be a good city to move to for someone as new to the real world as myself? Nothing fancy or expensive like LA because clearly I cant afford that. Somewhere with an affordable cost of living that's relatively safe. I've never been anywhere outside of Ohio besides Detroit and Maryland and neither of those I have any interest in. I've always been fascinated with NYC but that's more than likely out of my price range too. Me and my friend made this plan in like 10th grade to move to Toronto together. We're not as close anymore or anything I havent really talked to him since high school but Toronto would be perfect I think however isnt there a whole immigration process I would have to go through? And changing currency and just...idk it sounds so difficult. So I'm asking from you guys opinions if you where in my situation, where would you start looking? Also do you think it's going to be harder to enroll in school? As I said before I plan on going to a community college but being that I'm from out of state would it make it harder for me to goto school? My parents are on board with helping to pay tuition so fortunately that won't be a major issue. I was thinking of using craigslist to find a place wherever I decide to migrate to, is this a good idea? I just want the basics, maybe a step by step guide or something to leaving the nest. I know google is my friend but I'd really like some advice from someone in a more personal manner, ya know?
Sorry for the long life story I just thought it'd be better to give a little background info, to help understand my situation (if you care lol) so thanks in advance
A long time ago, i left my home when i was 19 but i came from a very good loving caring family . I moved 4,000 miles from England to the USA (Illinois) with 2 suitcases, 1 guitar, and about $800 from selling everything i owned . Fortunately, i had an apartment which a family friend was allowing me to stay at for just 2 weeks then i was to be out of that and on my own. During those 2 weeks, i scrambled to find a job , a very cheap used car, and a new place to live which was to occupy this Ladys house in her sons bedroom that was away at college. I stayed there free in exchange for cutting the grass and doing lawn work. It was a great deal for the time the Son was away but i had to be gone when he came back. I then found an ad to rent a room at this private residence where other renters were living too. It was cheap and i had alot of good times there with the owners and the renters. Well, i could go on and on...but...it all led to me finally getting an apartment where i had a roomate to share the cost.
Heres my advice if you need to move and dont have alot of money : BEFORE you move out and go to your new town , go online and see where you can live very cheapily like maybe at a local YMCA that has rooms for rent or a private homeowner who wants to rent a room out in the basement or whatever. You should be able to get something easily providing a background check on you checks out ok. If youve gotton in trouble with the law or dont look too respectable then its going to really hurt your chances. Be prepared to put down as a deposit some money plus first months rent whereever you stay. If you have another guy who will be going with you then so much the better cause all the expenses are divided by two. Take a look at the local newspaper in the classified ad section under 'Housing' and there should be some rooms for rent or an apartment/condo/small house to share . Do the same for a job search and try to line up interviews BEFORE you arrive there. The trick is to live cheapily , watch your expenses, live very frugally, obey the laws, and take good care of your job that you acquire and work hard. Dont hang with the wrong crowd, give up the drugs for your own good, and ask God to give you alot of wisdom and direction. Thats the best advice i can offer up to you . SO, good luck.
If you're considering Cincinnati or Columbus, I'd vote for Columbus. It seems to be a far livelier, younger town in many ways.
And - even though you're budgeting for pot, consider going without. It takes a hit on your finances, can mess up your thinking and attention span and memory both long and short-term. I have friends who aren't ancient, but who are experiencing memory loss from regular use twenty or thirty years ago - not good at all, and the stuff presently on the market is a lot stronger than that of twenty or thirty years ago. It's also illegal. Find some other high, preferably not drug or alcohol-related. Or if it's your way to relax, rethink that and try alternatives that don't have the side effects.
I do admire your ambition and determination to get ahead. Don't fret too much over your poor high school grades - instead, see if you can retake the SAT or ACT or whatever tests are being used these days for college admission. Many colleges place a lot more emphasis on this sort of thing, and perhaps an application essay, than they do on high school grades, particularly if you are a non-traditional student who has taken a couple of "gap years". So even if your high school grades are truly awful, if you do well on standardized tests and an essay (and it's clear you can write rather well), you should be admitted, though perhaps on probation for your first semester.
Think about what interests you, and pursue it. Once you're in college - community or otherwise - take a couple of courses related to wherever your heart lies, even if it appears there's no financial benefit. You'll quickly find out if it's a lasting interest or a passing fancy, a potential career focus or a hobby. Nothing wrong with any of those, but you do need to sort them out. Also, take some electives which seem only remotely interesting to you - you might find yourself pleasantly surprised. And of course, do get those required courses out of the way, so you can concentrate on your real interests, once you pinpoint them.
See if your local community college offers free or inexpensive counseling - they can certainly advise you about what is required to enroll either full or part-time, costs, possible financial assistance, what classes they offer, and so on. Do the same with the colleges and/or universities elsewhere in Ohio or other places which interest you.
I'd also suggest you stay within a day's drive of home, at least initially, if you are going to leave Toledo. That way, you're in a fresh place, but still within ready range of your support team (that can be emotional support, not just financial).
Daisylea, Atleast you have the brain to save money before moveing.Wherever you decide to go,do some recon on the area. Take a couple of days and visit. you might want to rent a car so you can get around.I have lived in many states. My father was in the military for 22yrs. I went to 14 diferent schools bfore I quit in the eighth grade. If your like me you get bored very fast.One thing I learned is that in the bible belt people are nicer and easier going. I live 11 miles from N.Y.C. right now. The good thing I like living where I'am (N.J.) is that I can go to the mountains the beach or the city. I can have a great time anywhere I go even if the people around me are drab. Lifes to short so do what makes you happy.We can only learn from our experiences. Enjoy.
All I want to say is, you are young and that alone is a huge plus. Maybe see what's on craig's list but be careful of weirdos posing as regular people ... I understand you wanting out of your town and to get a new life going. Try to make connections and maybe even check out CD's different state forums and learn about different places before moving anywhere; the more people you know, even from online, the better. There are lots of opportunities in life...good luck!
I'm going to second the suggestion to ask for a transfer with your company. It's how I've made almost all my moves and it makes the move much easier. If you stay in OH you would have a chance to make a few trips to look around for cheap housing before you make the move.
I always budget my money for pot. Thats one thing I did learn from my parents, how to save money I guess I can say I agree with you saying that my parents might hate my behavior, and not myself. But I do feel as though they resent me. My mom asked a few months ago if I felt she failed me. This broke my heart. In a way they enable me and always have enabled me to do the things I do. I was an only child so growing up, I was spoiled. I never had to work for anything. I didn't even get my first job until this year, and that was handed to me on a silver platter as well. I'm not blaming my parents AT ALL for how I turned out but it's hard to want to work for something when it's being handed to you anyway, and I've lived like that all my life. I want to get away & get used to earning things for myself. My parents arent going to be pampering me for the rest of my life and I want to show them I CAN do something on my own and make something of myself without their help. I don't feel like I can do this living under their roof because theres always that 'easy way out' option. And quite frankly it's depressing looking at my parents knowing they feel as though they failed me and living here is a constant reminder of that.
You guys responses have me really considering just moving out of Toledo, and staying in Ohio for the time being but I still don't know where to start?
Good! you have made the first step because you know that you NEED to get out on your own. As long as you stay under their roof.....you will feel that you have let them down. So, move on to a college that has on campus housing. It's cheaper and you won't need to go home to do your laundry.
You must get more education. Find the place that will provide you with the distance away from your parents that you need. Distance, in your case will be a state of mind, not just miles.
A State funded college in OHIO will be much cheaper than one in another State. Do the best that you can in the class room and get in the habit of skipping the social life....it can cost a bundle! Soon you will surprise yourself at what you can do. Make the choice for yourself. Not because you want put distance between you and your parents.
So, the first thing is to make a list of the colleges that would suit. Then, see what you need to apply. Get your high school transcript,etc. Apply to more than one.
It also made me realize how naive I sounded, saying I want a part time job and a small apartment. I guess it'd be pretty hard paying rent with a part time job? Or maybe it's just me making an assumption but when I think of part time I don't really think $$big bucks$$ lol. This is obviously going to be more difficult then I thought...
no, you will not be able to live on your own working part-time on minimum wage. you might be able to rent a room working full time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sll3454
You didn't say where you work, but it's best if it's a company that will allow you to transfer to another city or state eventually. If it isn't that kind of company, start looking for another job. (Work two jobs if you can!)
When you're ready to make the move, having a job lined up in your new city will make a big difference, and transferring within a company is the best way to do that.
Thanks so much for the replies guys!! I really appreciate it
As I said before I work at target, but I'm just a 'team member' I'm not anything fancy...would I still be able to transfer? I'm not keen on staying at target for much longer but a job is a job and if I actually could transfer to wherever I'm going that'd be a great start.
I'm also not too keen on renting rooms in peoples houses, I had actually never thought of it until I read 007.5's reply. Although it sounds like it'd be in my best interest financially it sounds a bit awkward. I'd feel kind of weird living in some random strangers home, but maybe that's just how I'm perceiving it. I'd really like more insight into this, is it always a private homeowner? Was it like...a home or family environment? I'd really feel like an intruder haha.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ojibway63
Daisylea, Atleast you have the brain to save money before moveing.Wherever you decide to go,do some recon on the area. Take a couple of days and visit. you might want to rent a car so you can get around.I have lived in many states. My father was in the military for 22yrs. I went to 14 diferent schools bfore I quit in the eighth grade. If your like me you get bored very fast.One thing I learned is that in the bible belt people are nicer and easier going. I live 11 miles from N.Y.C. right now. The good thing I like living where I'am (N.J.) is that I can go to the mountains the beach or the city. I can have a great time anywhere I go even if the people around me are drab. Lifes to short so do what makes you happy.We can only learn from our experiences. Enjoy.
Haha thanks! I've heard wonderful things about people that live in the bible belt, other than the typical rednecks but we have them in Ohio too, trust me. When I was thinking of where to relocate Atlanta actually popped into my head but I decided against that, I don't think I would fit in. At all. And from what I hear the cost of living is a little much but I'm not exactly sure if that's true.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Padgett2
Good! you have made the first step because you know that you NEED to get out on your own. As long as you stay under their roof.....you will feel that you have let them down. So, move on to a college that has on campus housing. It's cheaper and you won't need to go home to do your laundry.
You must get more education. Find the place that will provide you with the distance away from your parents that you need. Distance, in your case will be a state of mind, not just miles.
A State funded college in OHIO will be much cheaper than one in another State. Do the best that you can in the class room and get in the habit of skipping the social life....it can cost a bundle! Soon you will surprise yourself at what you can do. Make the choice for yourself. Not because you want put distance between you and your parents.
So, the first thing is to make a list of the colleges that would suit. Then, see what you need to apply. Get your high school transcript,etc. Apply to more than one.
I've actually never been to Columbus! That sounds awesome being that I'm going to be moving alone, a lively and younger population would be perfect since I'm out to make new friends. Also I don't plan on smoking forever. I was kind of kidding about budgeting my pot money. I actually plan to stop smoking at least 3 months prior to moving so that if any job opportunities arise I wont be panicking if I'm hit with a drug test. Truthfully the only reason why I smoke pot now is because there's legit nothing else to do around here, and I have the money for it so why not. I didnt take the SAT but I see where you're coming from in the terms that it's important. Is it too late to take them since I've already graduated high school? I was also told by someone who goes to the nearby community college that they (the community college) dont even care about your SAT/ACT if you don't have them, they only look at them if you do. I'm not sure how much truth is in that but it makes sense to me since that's all I've heard about it. I guess I could do a google search, in fact I think I will when I'm done with this.
When I first started high school my dream school was Kent State. I don't know why, I remember visiting a family friend who went there and I loved it. But of course, in typical 'me' fashion I didn't work hard to go there or achieve that goal at all. I'd still like to go to KSU one day, I'd like to attend university and live the college life period one day. That's ultimately my goal, I think.
if you got bad grades in high school, do you plan on doing better in college? what are you going to study? what do you want to do for work? does it require that you go to school? school is expensive, and it's probably hard to support yourself and go to school at the same time. you will probably need a roommate or live in situation. when i moved out, i rented a room for $400 a month until i could get a good job and get my own place. for this little $$ you could probably work, school and live at the same time.
if you got bad grades in high school, do you plan on doing better in college? what are you going to study? what do you want to do for work? does it require that you go to school? school is expensive, and it's probably hard to support yourself and go to school at the same time. you will probably need a roommate or live in situation. when i moved out, i rented a room for $400 a month until i could get a good job and get my own place. for this little $$ you could probably work, school and live at the same time.
I plan on doing good in college, I didn't care as much in highschool but I'm now more aware then ever of how important my education is. I eventually want to go into nursing, maybe become a pediatric RN. And yeah, when I was looking at random craigslist ads most people that wanted roommates wanted them to put up around $300-$500 a month.
Thanks for your reply!
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I guess I can say I agree with you saying that my parents might hate my behavior, and not myself. But I do feel as though they resent me. My mom asked a few months ago if I felt she failed me. This broke my heart. In a way they enable me and always have enabled me to do the things I do. I was an only child so growing up, I was spoiled. I never had to work for anything. I didn't even get my first job until this year, and that was handed to me on a silver platter as well. I'm not blaming my parents AT ALL for how I turned out but it's hard to want to work for something when it's being handed to you anyway, and I've lived like that all my life. I want to get away & get used to earning things for myself. My parents arent going to be pampering me for the rest of my life and I want to show them I CAN do something on my own and make something of myself without their help. I don't feel like I can do this living under their roof because theres always that 'easy way out' option. And quite frankly it's depressing looking at my parents knowing they feel as though they failed me and living here is a constant reminder of that. 
