Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't think a grandparent is owed a list of every possible gift a kid might want.
I'm sure parents could have any number of reasons to not disclose every gift. I'm not saying this is true for OP, but maybe they just wouldn't want to deal with the potential judgment on the part of the grandparent if the list contained controversial items.
Well if the grandparents insist on buying them a second or third Ipod, the kids can return it and use the moeny for something else they want. Naturally grandparents woudl provide the courtesey of including gift reciepts.
Why don't you create a trust for your grandchildren, and then when you have the need to buy something just add more money to it. Then at gift giving times, you give them a letter saying that you have added to their trust.
Then when they are old enough, you can let them have it. That will go a lot farther than an electronic toy or pajamas.
This is not just a "holiday" issue. This same scenario plays out on birthdays, Easter, etc.I am not interested in being a hero or getting the big gift. I just don't like being deceived.I think it is possible to parent without being deceptive.Then again there seem to be a lot of other power-hungry liars out there, especially in this thread
like it or not, the parents have the power. you are the one who is hungry for it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nolij4
I was just reacting to all the people in this thread who have said "yes, parents get first dibs on the big gifts, too bad"
There is no excuse for deliberately lying about what the kids want
no excuse whatsoever
i gave several possible reasons up thread but you didn't respond.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nolij4
I am going to have a little chat with my daughter. The chat is going to go like this:
"Why do you feel the need to lie to my face when I ask you what the children want or Christmas?"
that will go over well...
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
I guess my sarcasm did not sound through the written word.
It is extraodinarily rude and controlling for my daughter to deliberately keep secret what my grandkids want for Christmas simply because she doesn't want me to buy them a specific gift.
Okay - I confess that did not read through the entire thread. But have you ever thought of asking your grandkids directly?
Also - must we always buy kids what they specifically ask for?
I recommend finding out what the are interested in and then developing a gift idea around that.
I wonder if the OP wants to be the "big hero" and buy the grandkids the big presents so that they love you the most?
Gifts don't buy love. For various reasons my parents never bought ANY presents (no birthday, no Christmas, no graduation presents, none) for any of their grandchildren. Occasionally, my father would find a special rock or colored leaf or pretty wildflowers while on nature walks and give them to a grandchild or write a poem for them. Or my mother may share a special recipe or cooking tip but no presents, ever!
Yet, their love and caring for their grandchildren was so strong that all of their grandchildren loved them deeply. My son wrote a paper in high school describing how his grandfather was the person who he admired most in the world. My brother, his wife & his children wrote a 500 pagebook which started out as stories about my parents and their grandchildren.
OP, I wouldn't worry about who buys what big present for what grandkid, just be the kind of grandmother who can give your grandchild a piece of ribbon (that had wrapped a present that you received) and your granddaughter loved you enough to use that ribbon for years as an extra special bookmark and a reminder of your love. Just like my daughter did for her grandmother, my mother.
THIS. This post, and some others, gave a perfect example of what REALLY matters to grandchildren, and for some reason, OP, you completely disregarded them and are still hyper-focused on who gets to buy what. You are missing out on the real joy of being a grandparent, and depriving your grandchildren on the gift of having a grandmother. I can guarantee you they won't give a hoot about ipads or wii's or whatever other gadget they get, as much as they would value time, a relationship, and some wonderful memories of being with their grandmother.
My child does not have grandparents at all. When my mother was alive, she didn't have a lot of money to spend on grandchildren, but she loved to cook. Her grandchildren who remember her all remember her cooking their favorite dishes, their birthday cakes, Christmas dinner, Thanksgiving, they remember helping her make cookies for every occasion, cakes, pies, etc. She also never missed a swim class, a school play, a Christmas program, any activity any child was involved in, no matter how poor her health was or how bad she felt, she found a way to be there...because she WANTED to be there. Any ipad she could have bought would have been broke and forgotten about by now, but those memories will last forever. I can't imagine her getting a burr up her behind about something so stupid. All she wanted was to spend time with her grandchildren, and they will always remember that time...not gifts.
THIS. This post, and some others, gave a perfect example of what REALLY matters to grandchildren, and for some reason, OP, you completely disregarded them and are still hyper-focused on who gets to buy what. You are missing out on the real joy of being a grandparent, and depriving your grandchildren on the gift of having a grandmother. I can guarantee you they won't give a hoot about ipads or wii's or whatever other gadget they get, as much as they would value time, a relationship, and some wonderful memories of being with their grandmother.
My child does not have grandparents at all. When my mother was alive, she didn't have a lot of money to spend on grandchildren, but she loved to cook. Her grandchildren who remember her all remember her cooking their favorite dishes, their birthday cakes, Christmas dinner, Thanksgiving, they remember helping her make cookies for every occasion, cakes, pies, etc. She also never missed a swim class, a school play, a Christmas program, any activity any child was involved in, no matter how poor her health was or how bad she felt, she found a way to be there...because she WANTED to be there. Any ipad she could have bought would have been broke and forgotten about by now, but those memories will last forever. I can't imagine her getting a burr up her behind about something so stupid. All she wanted was to spend time with her grandchildren, and they will always remember that time...not gifts.
Great post!
My grandfather died when I was 4, and my most vivid memory of him is when he taught me to ride my bicycle. Those are special memories, I have no recollection of gifts he may have given me.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
