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Like I said, I have called dcf numerous times but the situation hasn't changed. If she ever were to go to the hospital the child would stay with me. But that is certainly not a permanent situation. Besides, if she didn't go to the police after he poured hot liquids into her eyes and refuses to file a restraining order, who knows how many other things she has refused to call the police or seek medical attention for. When he held them at knifepoint it was when they were living at my house. This was when I first became aware of the abuse. I of course called the police etc. but she ended up dropping the charges against him. DCF has been in contact with the childs school , her landlord is also aware of the situation. The father is not even supposed to be in her apartment alone with her, but he lives there. She just tells him to leave whenever she has a dcf appointment. I have notified dcf of this as well as her landlord. Her landlord cant do anything to make him leave even though he is not on the lease, unless she has a restraining order. Pretty much, I feel that the real problem here lies with dcf if I am trying to get this child out of this situation. Child welfare service, yeah ok. I suppose as long as he is fed and clothed what do they care, right? I guess the kids who are actually being abused take priority. I have called DV hotlines, they said that there is nothing that I can do except try to support her. They gave me a number to give to her for support. They even told me that although she may not want to get a restraining order she can get a "no abuse" order. Yeah, obviously she is not reporting abuse...at this point it seems like every system that is supposed to help someone in this situation is just giving me the run around.
When he held them at knifepoint it was when they were living at my house. This was when I first became aware of the abuse. I of course called the police etc. but she ended up dropping the charges against him.
The "wife" cannot drop charges against a man who is endangering a child at knife point. The charge of endangering the child has nothing to do with the wife or desire to press charges or not. Something is amiss in this story.
The "wife" cannot drop charges against a man who is endangering a child at knife point. The charge of endangering the child has nothing to do with the wife or desire to press charges or not. Something is amiss in this story.
They are not legally married, not sure if this makes a difference. As this was the beginning, dcf or law enforcement had not been previously involved. He did not have any previous charges, so yes, she dropped the case against him and no further action was taken. Perhaps endangering a child was not among his charges? Even so, if she dropped the case, there would be no legal record of it, I assume.
If an adult endangers a child at knife point, it does not matter who the adult is, it is illegal. A father cannot endanger a child with a knife. A mother cannot do it. The mother's boyfriend cannot do it.
If the police came, and were informed that the child was endangered by an adult with a knife, nobody else could protect the offending adult from arrest. There will be a police report on the incident. If for some reason the cops failed to arrest the man at the time, it does not mean that the incident has "gone away forever". The prosecutor's offices makes decisions on such things, not the police department. Get a copy of the police report, and then call the prosecutor's office for followup on potential charges.
You know the man has violent tendencies, and has even pulled a knife on the child. That demands your action to protect the child! The child is lucky you are there to help them!
This incident happened awhile ago, there is no way that he can be taken to court now. He was definitely arrested, but she dropped the charges against him in court. This was over a year ago.
SHE CANNOT INSTRUCT THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM TO DROP CHARGES WHEN SHE IS NOT THE VICTIM. THE CHILD WAS THE VICTIM (too), the mother cannot let someone else "off the hook" for an illegal act against the child. You can still follow up on what has transpired, especially if it means trying everything possible to help your grandchild. Are you up to it?
Another thing to consider is that if this couple stay together what if your daughter gets pregnant again?
One of the highest causes if death(many sources list it as THE highest cause of death) for pregnantwomen is MURDER by their boyfriend or spouse.
I'm not saying that it will happen but it is also something you to be thinking about.
You say that the boyfriend still lives at the apartment. Doesn't Child Welfare make surprise visits? How can he always sneak out? Wouldn't all of his clothes & possessions be right there?
This incident happened awhile ago, there is no way that he can be taken to court now. He was definitely arrested, but she dropped the charges against him in court. This was over a year ago.
As others have stated your daughter can not drop the charges if anyone else was threatened by the knife. If your grandchild was also threatened someone else (his mother) can't "drop the charges".
Go to the police station this morning with the approximate date, since it was at your house you already have the address and wait there until they give you a copy of the arrest record. Perhaps, at the time, your daughter lied and said that her son wasn't even in the house.
If you were a witness to the knife threat you may still be able to do something about it. Go the district attorneys or city attorneys office, with the arrest report & the actual truth of what happened that day, as they may be able to reissue the charges if your daughter lied at the time. Keep in mind that there is a slight chance that she would be charged with perjury for lying in court but it is unlikely if she claims that she was very afraid for her safety if she told the truth.
She could have been such an uncooperative witness that the prosecutor decided they could not pursue the case. It happens all the time. OP, I am so sorry about the situation. All you can do is keep reporting - but it is worth talking to a lawyer about guardianship (I wouldn't tell mom about that incase she cuts you off).
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