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My daughter has a four year old son and is in an abusive relationship with the father. Her son is emotionally scarred from seeing his dad abuse his mom. The last time that they came over her eye was red. I pulled the kid aside and asked him what had happened to his mom. He said that his dad had poured hot milk into her eye. He asked me to stay at my house. He said, "I am afraid to go to my house, my dad hurts my mom, and I hide under the table." As a family her sisters and I have tried to do everything to help her, but you cannot force anyone to leave an abusive relationship. It's not so easy to say hey why doesn't the kid stay with you, etc because the man controls her and everything that she does, it's not like she will just willingly bring the kid over to my house. I have sort of lost hope as to trying to help her, but the child does not deserve to be in this situation. He is innocent, he did not choose to be in this situation, his mother did. I have tried getting DCF involved, but all she does is lie to them in order to keep her son with her. Is there any sort of legal action that I could take or something in order to gain custody of this child? Or at least to get him out of this house. I know that it may seem wrong to the mother, but if you are not caring for your child properly by keeping them safe and exposing them to dangerous situations, then you are not capable of caring for a child. A child should feel safe and secure in their environment, and they shouldn't have to be exposed to seeing people hurt each other.
I'm sorry you're in this situation. I think you should be persistent with DCF. I'm also not sure of the legality of this, but I think it would be a good thing to tape record your grandson when he talks about this kind of thing - keep the questions as "non-coaching" as possible (and consult a lawyer or a cop on this issue). You might want to look into the legality of taping your conversations with your daughter as well - the laws vary GREATLY from state to state.
The ideal situation (I'm assuming you're in the states) is to get DCF to appoint a guardian ad litem to look after the child's interests. You may want to speak with someone who works in that capacity to see what you can do.
you need professional legal help. contact an attorney asap before you regret not doing enough. the most important thing right now is the well being of this child, not your relationship with your daughter or her relationship with the man. the welfare of this child should be your first thought.
Yes, the welfare of the child is my first thought, or I would have never called dcf. The police cannot do anything, I can report abuse to them, but unless I am witnessing the abuse or unless she files a restraining order they can do nothing. They cannot go on someone's word. (Hearsay) I don't really have the money to pursue a lawyer...
Oh, and I have been very persistent with dcf, but I am feeling that it is almost pointless. Why have they not forced her to get a restraining order? This abuse has been going on for years. He held her and her child at knifepoint. Yet DCF allows the child to remain in the house with her and the father? How would I get DCF to appoint a guardian?
I have tried getting DCF involved, but all she does is lie to them in order to keep her son with her. Is there any sort of legal action that I could take or something in order to gain custody of this child?
Push harder with the child protection agency (DCF) for them to take action. Perhaps going up the chain-of-command at the agency might get results.
I'm with everyone else. He's pouring hot liquids into her EYES? What happens when she's in the hospital and he has the child? I'd go to whatever lengths I could to get someone involved in protecting this child and his mother.
Contact your local domestic violence shelter. Explain the situation to them. They may have some tips for you on how to get your grandson out of harms way and how you can speak to your D. Let them know you've called DCF. Victims of domestic abuse do things the rest of us could not imagine doing or putting up with. The abuser makes them dependent upon them and tears down their self-esteem.
Does your grandson go to any type of preschool or daycare? They are required to report child abuse. I know you don't think your grandson is being abused now, but they may also be required to report his home situation IF they know it. Perhaps an "anonymous" call to the daycare or preschool giving them a heads up would help. I suspect that would require them to report it. If they ask if the boy is being abused--say "I don't know."
You might also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. They may have some advice to offer you and will at least listen to your concerns for your daughter and grandson.
My daughter has a four year old son and is in an abusive relationship with the father. Her son is emotionally scarred from seeing his dad abuse his mom. The last time that they came over her eye was red. I pulled the kid aside and asked him what had happened to his mom. He said that his dad had poured hot milk into her eye. He asked me to stay at my house. He said, "I am afraid to go to my house, my dad hurts my mom, and I hide under the table." As a family her sisters and I have tried to do everything to help her, but you cannot force anyone to leave an abusive relationship. It's not so easy to say hey why doesn't the kid stay with you, etc because the man controls her and everything that she does, it's not like she will just willingly bring the kid over to my house. I have sort of lost hope as to trying to help her, but the child does not deserve to be in this situation. He is innocent, he did not choose to be in this situation, his mother did. I have tried getting DCF involved, but all she does is lie to them in order to keep her son with her. Is there any sort of legal action that I could take or something in order to gain custody of this child? Or at least to get him out of this house. I know that it may seem wrong to the mother, but if you are not caring for your child properly by keeping them safe and exposing them to dangerous situations, then you are not capable of caring for a child. A child should feel safe and secure in their environment, and they shouldn't have to be exposed to seeing people hurt each other.
You should have called the Department of Family Services, Child Protection a long, long time ago.
20yrsinBranson
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