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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1
I think sometimes we need a reminder because it IS so easy to dis-respect 'old people'. I look at my 89 year old father and see, not the doddering old man that others see, but a member of the 'Greatest Generation" ~ who weathered the depression, fought in SEVERAL wars, was a decorated Officer in the Army, and who lost a son when he was only 8 years old. And did it all with grace and dignity and without complaining. That kind of life experience ~ cannot be learned in books or reading on the internet. He continued on, no matter what, to make a good life for himself and his family.
It's hard to see that man now, when you look at him, but he's still there and worthy of respect.
My teen-age son sees only the doddering old man and I get so mad when I see his eyes rolling around when he stumbles and fumbles. That 'old man' paid for his braces, sat through every sporting event, and will be providing him a car. I remind him of that from time to time.
At times like these try to remember that alot of these old people were arrogant teens who disrespected old people too, so it has come to bite them back in the bottom.
But I agree that today's generation is spoilt rotten, yet are even more ungrateful towards their forefathers and mothers than previous generations.
No, it's not just a matter of semantics. That is unless you think someone openly "dissing" your "dancing prowess", is the same thing as being courteously silent even though they may be quietly thinking that you probably suck at it. Just as an example...
You better not "diss" me - verbally or courteously - I'm a Blackpool finalist, AND ..... I'm probably older than you!
At times like these try to remember that alot of these old people were arrogant teens who disrespected old people too, so it has come to bite them back in the bottom.
But I agree that today's generation is spoilt rotten, yet are even more ungrateful towards their forefathers and mothers than previous generations.
No....nearly ALL old people who are now 70 and older came from an era where there was good respect for others , property, and the Civil Laws of the Land. There was a clear deliniation between right from wrong and absolute moral laws were something to embrace. . Restaurants in their day werent full of people using foul and vile language at the next booth nor glamorizing their sexual conquests in an open public atmosphere.. or customary grotch-grabbing by music entertainers on TV . Ones sexuality was kept private like it should be and for very good reason ; adultery was looked down upon and if you did it, it was kept private because of its shame . I feel sorry for the Old People today who have to endure, first hand, the drastic moral degradation of America all around them .
No....nearly ALL old people who are now 70 and older came from an era where there was good respect for others , property, and the Civil Laws of the Land. There was a clear deliniation between right from wrong and absolute moral laws were something to embrace. . Restaurants in their day werent full of people using foul and vile language at the next booth nor glamorizing their sexual conquests in an open public atmosphere.. or customary grotch-grabbing by music entertainers on TV . Ones sexuality was kept private like it should be and for very good reason ; adultery was looked down upon and if you did it, it was kept private because of its shame . I feel sorry for the Old People today who have to endure, first hand, the drastic moral degradation of America all around them .
I thnik the degree of respect that makes people recongnose one above the other is earned. Common respect for others really is quite different than the respect that mnay get because they hav earned it overtime.
Just for being alive longer? Is their opinion more valuable? On one hand, old people do have a long archive of experience, but on the other hand, some people are idiots no matter what age they are.
Assuming equal intelligence, then you betcha. Because there's a vast difference between intelligence and wisdom.
A 75-year-old has seen a great deal and has learned a great deal. A 20-year-old hasn't experienced jack. And if you listen carefully, a wise 75-year-old will tell you a great deal. And a wise 20-year-old will listen and take those lessons to heart.
A couple of months ago, I flew out to California. an 80-year-old Mississippi woman sat beside me on the plane. It was her first time out to California but, as we flew across country, I had one of the most enjoyable conversations of my life.
Towards the end of the flight, I found myself missing my own grandmother and all the things that she knew--things that I was always blowing off when I was 20 years old.
So, yeah, the old are entitled to your respect. Because they've done almost everything you have. And then some.
Ringo, here's an idea for you. I have almost always been in professions in which I've interacted with "seniors", or at least older adults. Here is what completely changed the way I saw these folks, besides the obvious sharing of words. I saw pictures of them when they were young!! Find some pictures of your father when he was younger. If there are any relatives who have pictures, or if you're able to connect with relatives online who have pictures of him throughout his life.....GET THEM! Display those pictures of your father when he was young. Nothing reveals the person "inside" as much as a photo gallery that has pictures of that elderly person at different (younger) stages of their lives.
If your son has pictures displayed of your father at HIS age, younger and somewhat older, it is more likely that he won't view his grandfather as simply a "doddering old man". He will likely begin to see your father as a young person who has grown old with time. It's also a way of showing your son the meaning of "mortality". We all get old. Our physical appearance is not who we are....but a product of the passing of time. Show him who your father really is! I did that for my chidren....and it's amazing the way they started viewing their grandparents... with much more respect. They stopped treating them like "they wouldn't be interested or understand", because they ceased to be distracted by their outward appearance! If you have a younger "reference" visual of the elderly, you simply see them differently. It's amazing!
In working with elderly in nursing homes, I actually started seeing my elderly friends as they WERE, not as the "waiting to die" individuals. We encourage elderly clients' families to bring pictures of them when they were younger, because it actually makes the clients FEEL younger, as well....especially when their caregivers stop treating them like "doddering old people".
I think this is a wonderful post, beachmel.
I have started a partnership with my Girl Scout Troop (my girls are ages 8-13) and the activities director at a local Assisted Living facility. We meet once a month and my girls share stories with the residents, do crafts together, and even play Wii. It's so wonderful for the residents in the ways you mention, and even more so for my girls. Young kids and teens have a very narrow and selfish view of the world. Learnign to respect their elders, teaches them to acknowledge that the world they live in is not just a creation of their own doing. It teaches them to be thankful for the world around them because it was those who came before them that paved the way. The residents share stories with my girls about WW2 and what life was like before Civil Rights and even just things like what type writters and chalk boards were, gives my girls a realization that there were people who left a legacy for them....and that they will be leaving a legacy for someone else.
To me that is why we should respect our elders. We are standing on the backs of our ancestors and our elders. The least that deserves is respect.
I have started a partnership with my Girl Scout Troop (my girls are ages 8-13) and the activities director at a local Assisted Living facility. We meet once a month and my girls share stories with the residents, do crafts together, and even play Wii. It's so wonderful for the residents in the ways you mention, and even more so for my girls. Young kids and teens have a very narrow and selfish view of the world. Learnign to respect their elders, teaches them to acknowledge that the world they live in is not just a creation of their own doing. It teaches them to be thankful for the world around them because it was those who came before them that paved the way. The residents share stories with my girls about WW2 and what life was like before Civil Rights and even just things like what type writters and chalk boards were, gives my girls a realization that there were people who left a legacy for them....and that they will be leaving a legacy for someone else.
To me that is why we should respect our elders. We are standing on the backs of our ancestors and our elders. The least that deserves is respect.
I think it's just wonderful that you're bringing your girls into the AL facility. It is phenomenal, what the presence of (well-behaved) children can do for folks, truly. I have brought in and introduced all of my children and now my grandson, had them get to know the folks in there. They have made wonderful friends and it gives the folks in the facilities a personal connection with those who are their caregivers. Some of the oldest, withdrawn, and yes, even "coarse" individuals can become the most outgoing, talkative and yes, even gentle, folks you'd ever want to meet.
At a facility where I was working, many years ago, there was an old biker. Staff did NOT like him....I'm telling you, did not LIKE him at all. They would refer to him in the most derogatory ways you could imagine. Well, it's been my experience that many people will test you, see what you're made of, how tough you are, if you've got a sense of humor, etc. This guy was a TESTER! Most of the staff failed his tests miserably! Within on week, we were excellent friends and he respected me like crazy, in fact, grew quite protective over me. Within a month, I was bringing my family ....my CHILDREN, most often, in to meet this "monster". The staff was blown away...never thought it was possible. The trouble is, they had developed and in fact, perpetrated an image of him and spread it to newcomers.
I kid you not, he didn't treat them like good people because they didn't treat HIM like good people! He was doing unto them as they were doing unto him and they didn't even realize it. Many of the staff never even changed their minds about him after they saw how good he was to me, because they had developed an unhealthy relationship already. These staff members could not, for one second, imagine what he was like before his heart attack that paralyzed one side of his body. They never gave him a chance. They met him and he was pi$$ed at the world....they took it personally. It's sad....and LOL I just got off on a tangent! LOL Oops!
Respect is not given out because you are older.
Respect is Earned.
If you do not earn respect - you do not get it
Plain & simple
Older people do not deserve it just because they are older.
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