Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,574,783 times
Reputation: 8044
Oh, wow, Tami, that was a big step. I remember when I finally realized I should close out the joint checking account and open an account in my name only. That was so hard. It was like erasing him. Same with the mortgage account, the titles to the house and car, insurance policies for house and car, close out his AOL account, turn off his cell phone (I was able to keep the phone so I had his greeting~~still do and listen to it occasionally~~but my contacts), and all those other things that really hurt to do. Honestly, I did them before I was ready so I truly did feel like I was eradicating him from my life.
Time has gone on, and I rarely listen to his voice greeting anymore, and finally re-recorded my own message for the home phone about 2 years after he died. It's like slowly letting a balloon string slip through your fingers as the balloon soars to the sky. It's a sad, but necessary release...
Ah, you understand exactly, Marcy. Sorry you weren't ready then. Sounds though like you needed to do some of that stuff legally though. I don't listen to Earl's rendition of Happy Birthday too much anymore either. It just hurts too much. I have found out I'm not much of a masochist. I'm thinking it may be better to just let go and live with the memories.
Good for you that you re-recorded a new incoming message. Funny, 2 years seems like a "milestone" year. Something happens. Mine is coming up next month.
Are you excited that your SIL will be arriving soon? It'll be so good for both of you to talk and cry about Bob with each other. My warmest thoughts will be with you.
Sean's emails are still in my "messages read" box. His cell number is still in my phone. A week after he died I cancelled his cell phone because it was in my name. I was so desperate to hear his voice I searched through messages on my phone but I'm pretty good about erasing old messages and there were none. Even though I had cancelled his phone I called the number anyway out of desperation. A canned womans voice told me that the phone was no longer in service.
I can still hear his voice. Still see his face. Still hear his stupid jokes. Writing about him is still too much. It still makes me cry and so that's why I don't post on here very often. It's still too...........much.
The day after Christmas will be 20 months. On the 30th of December he would have turned 30 years old. I haven't looked at a picture of him since the funeral. F**K.
Sean's emails are still in my "messages read" box. His cell number is still in my phone. A week after he died I cancelled his cell phone because it was in my name. I was so desperate to hear his voice I searched through messages on my phone but I'm pretty good about erasing old messages and there were none. Even though I had cancelled his phone I called the number anyway out of desperation. A canned womans voice told me that the phone was no longer in service.
I can still hear his voice. Still see his face. Still hear his stupid jokes. Writing about him is still too much. It still makes me cry and so that's why I don't post on here very often. It's still too...........much.
The day after Christmas will be 20 months. On the 30th of December he would have turned 30 years old. I haven't looked at a picture of him since the funeral. F**K.
Oh, Juneau, it's so much harder for a woman to lose their child. A spouse is hard but a child is SUPER hard. I've wondered where you have been. Take your time, dear. Know that we here are thinking of you. (((hugs)))
I finally took Earl off the checking account. It has my name only and "new" address/phone number on it.
I took him off my car insurance also.
Part of me is sad that I did these things but also am happy that I am becoming independent from being Mrs. Earl and a person in my own right.
Tami...Thanks for starting this thread. Congratulations on becoming more independent...My husband's name is still on most of our "store cards" but that's about it...I lost my Safeway card and opened up a new account in my name. But it doesn't seem important to change out the other cards right now. (They aren't credit cards.)...I changed my bank account and insurance and other VIP "stuff" awhile back ago.
Sean's emails are still in my "messages read" box. His cell number is still in my phone. A week after he died I cancelled his cell phone because it was in my name. I was so desperate to hear his voice I searched through messages on my phone but I'm pretty good about erasing old messages and there were none. Even though I had cancelled his phone I called the number anyway out of desperation. A canned womans voice told me that the phone was no longer in service.
I can still hear his voice. Still see his face. Still hear his stupid jokes. Writing about him is still too much. It still makes me cry and so that's why I don't post on here very often. It's still too...........much.
The day after Christmas will be 20 months. On the 30th of December he would have turned 30 years old. I haven't looked at a picture of him since the funeral. F**K.
Juneau,
What you write here stays here. No cross forum posting about something so tender, memories so precious and fragile.
You are on your own time frame of when you can do what. My trusted friends here are wonderful sources of support.
Isn't it odd, given the distance you travel, that YOU saw the special tree this year? Did Sean like Christmas trees?
I look forward to learning more about Sean when you want to tell us, IF you do.
Oh, Juneau, it's so much harder for a woman to lose their child. A spouse is hard but a child is SUPER hard. I've wondered where you have been. Take your time, dear. Know that we here are thinking of you. (((hugs)))
Well Tami, it appears you've met my friend, Juneau.
I agree, losing a child is so different than losing an adult or spouse.
I read what you did about your checking acct. and auto insurance. Those are tough jobs. I can't bring myself to close out a business checking acct. I probably could now, but initially I couldn't get a death certificate for Crick.
.
Sending hugs across the miles ; )
I noticed my wifes name is still on the personal and property taxes. I haven't done anything about that yet. Probably won't.
Good Bluff. Just make sure one more name can make decisions about banking.
MSR
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Did Sean like Christmas trees?
