Unhappy in Indiana (Indianapolis, Fort Wayne, Bloomington: home, transfer, theater)

[AliJ523]

I mean absolute no disrespect to people who are from Indiana or who enjoy living here, but I have to admit that the time I've lived here, I've been the most unhappiest. The people are just not what I'm used to - they're very cliquish and standoffish. We've lived here for many years and still only know a few people - ironically, the people we do know are from out of state as well.

I got used to the land being so flat and seeing cornfields everywhere I went, but it doesn't feel like home - it feels more like a prison. I'm perplexed because I've been to neighboring states (OH, IL and MI) and don't get the same vibe as in Indy.

Where I'm from, if you make eye contact with someone you don't know, you smile and acknowledge that person. Here if you make eye contact with someone, he/she just glares back. It's eerie.

My husband is being transferred to TX within the next 2 years and will be happy to move. I won't have any desire to ever come back or will I miss anything about Indiana. Again, not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to understand why things are the way they are

Also, the food is very bland here. I don't understand why they cut their pizza in little squares and not slices - I had never seen that before!!

I'm posting out of frustration. I do want to enjoy my time here, and I have tried. Anyone else experience this?

[ischyros]

Originally Posted by AliJ523

I mean absolute no disrespect to people who are from Indiana or who enjoy living here, but I have to admit that the time I've lived here, I've been the most unhappiest. The people are just not what I'm used to - they're very cliquish and standoffish. We've lived here for many years and still only know a few people - ironically, the people we do know are from out of state as well.

I got used to the land being so flat and seeing cornfields everywhere I went, but it doesn't feel like home - it feels more like a prison. I'm perplexed because I've been to neighboring states (OH, IL and MI) and don't get the same vibe as in Indy.

Where I'm from, if you make eye contact with someone you don't know, you smile and acknowledge that person. Here if you make eye contact with someone, he/she just glares back. It's eerie.

My husband is being transferred to TX within the next 2 years and will be happy to move. I won't have any desire to ever come back or will I miss anything about Indiana. Again, not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to understand why things are the way they are

Also, the food is very bland here. I don't understand why they cut their pizza in little squares and not slices - I had never seen that before!!

I'm posting out of frustration. I do want to enjoy my time here, and I have tried. Anyone else experience this?

Where are you from originally? I've had no problems meeting people in Indianapolis, though I am from Indiana originally, but not close to Indianapolis. My wife moved here from New Jersey and has made several friends, some from out of state (including one originally from Canada) and some that grew up in Indianapolis.

I've very rarely experienced making eye contact with someone and them not smiling or saying hello. I encounter that all the time, not just in the Indy area but also when I lived in Fort Wayne, Mishawaka, and my hometown of Goshen. So I'm not sure what to tell you about that.

As for food being bland, it may depend what you are used to. I've found several restaurants in Indy that I love. There are a handful of pizza joints that cut pizza into squares but most do slices. Are you just going to the same places over and over again??

One man's trash is another man's treasure. Indiana is certainly not right for some people. Maybe you're just one of those people. But I have no idea why you have experienced the things you have unless you just haven't broken out of your shell and just live in one little bubble.

[Toxic Toast]

Originally Posted by AliJ523

Also, the food is very bland here. I don't understand why they cut their pizza in little squares and not slices - I had never seen that before!!

Thin crust pizza is commonly cut into squares everywhere, surely you jest.

[msamhunter]

Originally Posted by Sulfate

Indiana sucks, dude. I hate every single second of it. The state lacks any culture, vibrance, and certainly any indentity of its own. Rather, Hoosiers seem to absorb the social norms that society and media dictate oh so harshly.

I'm moving as soon as I graduate high school.

Explains a lot. Still in hs. So what are those social norms that we just absorb from the media?

To the op, while i've never had that experience in indiana, usually fear saying hello and hearing someone's life story, no place is utopia for everyone. Hope you find what your are looking for.

[kayanne]

Originally Posted by AliJ523

I mean absolute no disrespect to people who are from Indiana or who enjoy living here, but I have to admit that the time I've lived here, I've been the most unhappiest. The people are just not what I'm used to - they're very cliquish and standoffish. We've lived here for many years and still only know a few people - ironically, the people we do know are from out of state as well.

I got used to the land being so flat and seeing cornfields everywhere I went, but it doesn't feel like home - it feels more like a prison. I'm perplexed because I've been to neighboring states (OH, IL and MI) and don't get the same vibe as in Indy.

Where I'm from, if you make eye contact with someone you don't know, you smile and acknowledge that person. Here if you make eye contact with someone, he/she just glares back. It's eerie.

My husband is being transferred to TX within the next 2 years and will be happy to move. I won't have any desire to ever come back or will I miss anything about Indiana. Again, not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to understand why things are the way they are

Also, the food is very bland here. I don't understand why they cut their pizza in little squares and not slices - I had never seen that before!!

I'm posting out of frustration. I do want to enjoy my time here, and I have tried. Anyone else experience this?

Wow, sorry to hear you feel so unhappy. I grew up in Indiana (lived there until my mid-40s actually), and since then I've lived in a few other states. In my experience, Indiana was much friendlier than most other places I've lived. But I do know how you feel, for example, when I lived in Boston, I felt it was very cliquish and unfriendly, but people who had grown up there loved it. Their reality was very different than mine. I don't know, maybe when you grow up somewhere, it just becomes part of your inner core, your place of comfort, your place that just feels right. Because my vibe of Indiana is completely different than yours.

I'm the kind of person who always smiles and says hi to people I pass, and in my experience most people in Indy will say hi back. In other states I've lived, I've actually been told that people find it creepy or weird for strangers to say hi. To each his own I guess.

What part of town are you in? Are you working? Do you and your husband have an active social life? There are some great meetup groups for all sorts of activities. Do you have a few fun friends to hang out with? That can make all the difference.

I'll agree with you that a lot of food in Indiana is on the bland side, but there is good to be found, you can even find pizza cut in slices not squares, LOL! (funny how a little thing like that can stand out as "wrong," but I understand.) I loved Jets Pizza and Noble Roman's Pizza when I lived there. (although now that I think about it, the deep-dish at Noble Roman's, which is heaven-on-earth to me, is cut in squares.)

I don't know what you enjoy doing for fun, but here are some of the things I used to do there: Friday nights in the summers at Chateau Thomas winery in Plainfield, live music outside. Symphony on the Prairie up at Conner Prairie in Noblesville. Walk the canal in downtown, ride up to the top of the Soldiers and Sailors monument, tour Scottish Rite Cathedral, WWII Memorial, Indy zoo and White River Gardens. Museum of Art. Vogue Theater for concerts. Eagle Creek for hiking and picnicking. Ricks Boatyard Cafe on the weekend for good food and jazz music. Slippery Noodle Inn downtown for music and drinks. Carmel Arts District. State Fair. Day trip to Nashville Indiana (really pretty in fall) or Oliver Winery. There are golf courses, frisbee golf, cross-country skiing, (even downhill skiing on little hills in various parts of the state), softball, volleyball, etc teams to join, and of course pro sports Colts, Pacers, Ice, Indians.

I hope this helps, and don't hesitate to ask any questions you might have to help you make the best of your time in Indiana. Having moved around so much the past several years, I've learned that I have to jump in and learn what's available, to make friends, to make the most of each place we live. I think Indiana can be much better than how you now perceive it!! It would be a shame to waste the next two years of your life feeling like you're in "a prison."

Hugs, and good luck, from someone who will always be a friendly Hoosier-at-heart

Edited to add I just realized that your post didn't say you are in Indianapolis, but somehow I thought it did. So my suggestions of things to do in Indianapolis may be irrelevant.

[ischyros]

Originally Posted by kayanne

Edited to add I just realized that your post didn't say you are in Indianapolis, but somehow I thought it did. So my suggestions of things to do in Indianapolis may be irrelevant.

I just noticed that when you posted this. I guess it was in the Indianapolis forum so I just assumed they were talking about Indianapolis.

[msamhunter]

[quote=Sulfate;29493282]

Originally Posted by msamhunter

Explains a lot. Still in hs. So what are those social norms that we just absorb from the media?

Expected, typical rebuttal when someone doesn't have an argument. Saying I'm naive and I don't know anything because I'm in high school, that is.

I apologize, I haven't conformed yet and have had not Indiana become my reality. Seems like people that grew up in Indiana and lived their entire life are afraid to say anything bad about it.

What I mean though, is that indiana lacks self identity, as we do in fact have few prominent bands, art, theatre, really cultural in all to call our own. Because of this, the youthful generation falls to common trends whether its music or shoes. This is why Indiana looks like the rest of corporate America.

Guess what, you are in high school under mommy. You don't know jack. I know teenagers think they know everything, the whole 15 going on 45. The remaining portion of your post doesn't make a lick of sense.

[wh15395]

Originally Posted by msamhunter

Guess what, you are in high school under mommy. You don't know jack. I know teenagers think they know everything, the whole 15 going on 45. The remaining portion of your post doesn't make a lick of sense.

You're the one coming off as ignorant right now. I agree with everything his post said about most of Indiana. Indianapolis is a bit different and has a decent vibe and some culture, but it's the only city in Indiana that has either. I suppose Bloomington does too, but that can be largely attributed to its out of state college students.

[rrah]

I find it interesting that a poster that often defends the resident, immature hs student now finds it appropriate to attack one.

[missik999]

Originally Posted by rrah

I find it interesting that a poster that often defends the resident, immature hs student now finds it appropriate to attack one.

So true! And this high school student appears to be much more mature then the resident student of this forum.