Hatred of Cities (Orland: apartments, condos, how much)

[Mike121]

I've been reading this forum for quite a while, and, largely, it is depressing. One would get the impression that LA is hell on earth, and that people are fleeing.

So, out of curiosity, I've spent the last week or so reading the forums (fora?) of the other major cities in the US, and I've found that every large city's forum is very similar: traffic, schools, cost of living, can't get ahead, need to be rich to make life livable, yadda yadda.

I'm oddly reassured.

A hypothesis: many (most?) people just aren't cut out for 21st century megacity life. Many people shouldn't try to live in the megacities and should instead try to find a smaller communities that are a better fit.

LA has its problems, but, it is not a unique in having problems.

[ConsideringLA]

It's a shared trait as humans that we tend to externalize our problems and focus on the environment as the reason for our ills. In fact, our problems follow us around no matter how seemingly utopian a move may be. Happiness starts inside the home with the people you're with (or not with...). In my experience, this should be 99% of one's attention: on those that are close to us.

The rest is window dressing -- but it is arguably the easiest to control.

[Sorcerer68]

Originally Posted by Mike121

I've been reading this forum for quite a while, and, largely, it is depressing. One would get the impression that LA is hell on earth, and that people are fleeing.

So, out of curiosity, I've spent the last week or so reading the forums (fora?) of the other major cities in the US, and I've found that every large city's forum is very similar: traffic, schools, cost of living, can't get ahead, need to be rich to make life livable, yadda yadda.

I'm oddly reassured.

A hypothesis: many (most?) people just aren't cut out for 21st century megacity life. Many people shouldn't try to live in the megacities and should instead try to find a smaller communities that are a better fit.

LA has its problems, but, it is not a unique in having problems.

I've been saying this since I joined this forum. Some move away and send us pictures of the boonies telling us how much better it is (vomits a little in my mouth). Of all the ones I've seen move away on this board, only ONE moved to another large city. He was a New Yorker and moved back to Manhattan and I can totally respect that, Manhattan rocks. Of the others, they all left for much smaller places.

I need the city and everything that comes with it. I have no interest in the boonies which includes large towns with tall office buildings in the center.

[katenik]

Originally Posted by Sorcerer68

I've been saying this since I joined this forum. Some move away and send us pictures of the boonies telling us how much better it is (vomits a little in my mouth). Of all the ones I've seen move away on this board, only ONE moved to another large city. He was a New Yorker and moved back to Manhattan and I can totally respect that, Manhattan rocks. Of the others, they all left for much smaller places.

I need the city and everything that comes with it. I have no interest in the boonies which includes large towns with tall office buildings in the center.

i'm torn, because although i need the big city, i don't need EVERYTHING that comes with it. unfortunately, the things that i do need are only found in big cities, and i am loathe to give them up. if i could find some boonie town with a mediterranean climate, reasonably fashionable shopping and eclectic dining, and one or two well-stocked specialty food markets, i'd be there yesterday. everything else i need, i can get on the internet.

[EscapeCalifornia]

Originally Posted by katenik

i'm torn, because although i need the big city, i don't need EVERYTHING that comes with it. unfortunately, the things that i do need are only found in big cities, and i am loathe to give them up. if i could find some boonie town with a mediterranean climate, reasonably fashionable shopping and eclectic dining, and one or two well-stocked specialty food markets, i'd be there yesterday. everything else i need, i can get on the internet.

Unlike some posters, I don't see it as an either or proposition. Some people seem to think that if a city isn't LA or NYC, its a podunk little town with one Walmart and nothing else. I too need many of the things available only in a city but that doesn't mean I need to live in the middle of a 10,000 square mile sea of concrete to get it. There's plenty of good sized cities in this country that have 99% of what people need in their daily lives but with less of what makes overgrown messes like SoCal unpleasant.

[katenik]

Originally Posted by EscapeCalifornia

Unlike some posters, I don't see it as an either or proposition. Some people seem to think that if a city isn't LA or NYC, its a podunk little town with one Walmart and nothing else. I too need many of the things available only in a city but that doesn't mean I need to live in the middle of a 10,000 square mile sea of concrete to get it. There's plenty of good sized cities in this country that have 99% of what people need in their daily lives but with less of what makes overgrown messes like SoCal unpleasant.

yes, there are many perfectly fine mid-sized cities throughout the country that have a lot to offer...but only if you don't contrast them with what is available in the mega-cities. unfortunately, once you've lived in a place where anything you can even conceive of wanting is a short (or long) drive away, possibly in several different directions, it's hard to adjust to less. i also think it's impossible to overestimate the role of the weather in keeping people here, because it simply can't be reproduced anywhere in the country outside of southern CA.

[gypsystar]

Originally Posted by katenik

yes, there are many perfectly fine mid-sized cities throughout the country that have a lot to offer...but only if you don't contrast them with what is available in the mega-cities. unfortunately, once you've lived in a place where anything you can even conceive of wanting is a short (or long) drive away, possibly in several different directions, it's hard to adjust to less. i also think it's impossible to overestimate the role of the weather in keeping people here, because it simply can't be reproduced anywhere in the country outside of southern CA.

I totally agree. My husband and I recently moved from L.A. to Orlando, and are now back in L.A. Although there are lots of great things about Orlando, and I LOVE Florida in general, we felt like L.A. had spoiled us SO much! We would always compare the two cities, and say that Orlando was lacking so many things. If I had never been to L.A., I am sure I would have been perfectly happy there. And I wish I could have been because for as much as I love L.A., it does have its problems. Orlando and Florida offered a much calmer way of life (which we were desperately seeking when we fled L.A. in May), but I have to admit that I was bored a lot. I probably just didn't give it a fair shake.

[katenik]

Originally Posted by gypsystar

I totally agree. My husband and I recently moved from L.A. to Orlando, and are now back in L.A. Although there are lots of great things about Orlando, and I LOVE Florida in general, we felt like L.A. had spoiled us SO much! We would always compare the two cities, and say that Orlando was lacking so many things. If I had never been to L.A., I am sure I would have been perfectly happy there. And I wish I could have been because for as much as I love L.A., it does have its problems. Orlando and Florida offered a much calmer way of life (which we were desperately seeking when we fled L.A. in May), but I have to admit that I was bored a lot. I probably just didn't give it a fair shake.

i understand. i moved from the second largest to the fifth largest city in the country, and even that required an adjustment. i stayed for almost three years, but i had a reason to be there that took priority over my desire to leave. had that not been the case, i would have been home after six months. contrastingly, my friends who were from small towns were thrilled to be in the "big city," and weren't at all bothered that there were no clean supermarkets, no reliable mid-range restaurants that weren't chains, and customer service universally sucked. it's all about what one knows.

[matt345]

I agree that some people clearly just aren't right for megacity life. And that's fine. But don't be so surprised that there are those of us who love living in cities like LA or NYC. As someone who moved here from DC, I hear the same complaints about LA that I heard back home. The traffic, the pollution, the immigrants, overcrowding, expensive cost of living, flaky people...it's almost the exact same thing.

I've noticed that some people here live in a metro area of 10 million, yet act all surprised when life isn't as quiet and serene as a small midwestern town. And then there are those who live right in the middle of LA, yet expect it to be a 1950's suburban utopia. They complain about the "evil developers" building apartments/condos, yet totally ignore the fact that LA's population is still growing and we need to put these people somewhere...and we have totally run out of land to build upon. Can't build out anymore. There is no choice but to build up.

LA's no longer the quiet suburbia it marketed itself as in the 1950's. It's a world city of millions, and people need to recognize that they live in a big city, not a suburb or small town.

[jc76]

Originally Posted by katenik

yes, there are many perfectly fine mid-sized cities throughout the country that have a lot to offer...but only if you don't contrast them with what is available in the mega-cities. unfortunately, once you've lived in a place where anything you can even conceive of wanting is a short (or long) drive away, possibly in several different directions, it's hard to adjust to less. i also think it's impossible to overestimate the role of the weather in keeping people here, because it simply can't be reproduced anywhere in the country outside of southern CA.

The last line in your post, that's 95% of what attracts me to SoCal. Born and raised in the midwest the older I get the less my body can handle these 6 month winters (don't believe anyone, they last 6 months, Mid Oct- Late April is cold and dreary). I have been all over the USA and while many other areas have tolerable weather, none compare to the weather in SoCal. Texas is a new safe haven for those escaping LA, but still, it's not the same (IMO). Yes the traffic sucks, yes the COL is brutal, yes the overcrowding sucks too, but the place still attracts many newcomers, some who stay the rest of their lives, some who run back home to the safety and comfort of cheap living (myself included).
I love SoCal and I hope in January my move is permanant. It's the last time I'm trying.