Ppl from Massachusetts are incredibly rude (Boston, Brockton: high schools, earthquakes, shop)

[mommytotwo]

Originally Posted by syracusa

We're about to move to MA (not by choice, by Recession).
You're giving us quite the scare. I am praying you exaggerated a bit.

I don't have any idea what that person is talking about.

We here in Massachusetts are a lovely, welcoming bunch.

(Except for anyone who doesn't like people from Massachusetts. To them we say "Go to hell!!) LOL.

All kidding aside, it depends on where you are, like someone else said.

The town I live in has so many people from different places that I couldn't even begin to tell you who would snub who or be rude to who. I've only met two people that actually originated in this town and still live here.

I can tell you that people are slightly reserved here. There is no 10 minute conversation about nothing at the check out line at the grocery store. Someone may not talk to you the first time they see you, they may talk to you the fourth or fifth, etc.

As I said, I am a newcomer to the town where I live. (I am from Massachusetts, though). I haven't had a problem here. You just have to be friendly and not expect that the person you sit down next to at the dentist is going to become your new best friend, or that you will run into someone at the grocery store, start talking about a recipe, and that person is going to invite you over for dinner. As long as you have realistic expectations I don't think you will be disappointed.

Btw, Mainer, I didn't notice if you are from Maine or not, but we have heard the same thing about people from Maine, that they are reserved, cool, and don't talk to outsiders. (We have a camp up in Maine, I absolutely love it there)

I think these are all just rumors.

[ColorsOfMe]

My oh my.....it seems that everyday I run into rude M*******s (sorry but the name is fitting). Today I was making a joke of the fact that I was watching the reflection of the dvd movie she was watching). You should have seen the pitiful "who ARE you?!?!?" look on her face when I only lightly tapped her on the shoulder while we were seated on the charter coming from Pittsfield. Whether I take thw bus or train, there is a distinct difference between the "coldness" of Bostonians and "outsiders".

[femmefatalezz]

I was born and raised in Boston and lived here all of my life. I am kind of reserved and don't like to talk to strangers and don't like to be looked at or stared at which happens often. That doesn't mean that when I get to know you and feel comfortable with you that I wouldn't open up. I am a warm and genuine true friend. When someone I don't know tries to start a conversation with me I feel somewhat suspicious and a little bit afraid. I am half introverted and half extroverted. I think I might be one of those terrible drivers as well because of the fast pace of lifestyle of the city. Everyone here has 100 million things to do every day and are stressed out and needs to get everything done in a clockwork manner, putting themselves before others. It's just the way of the city, or any city

[lrfox]

I love the attitude in Boston/Massachusetts. Some may consider it cold, or rude, or whatever. But outside of corners of this country, it's how the majority of the world is. It's real. We may not go up and shake everyone's hand on the sidewalk, or give every new neighbor a pecan pie; but we're certainly not oblivious to others. If someone wants to interact, they need only to do that... interact. I've found that if effort is put in, generally, effort is returned in the response.

That said, Boston isn't for everyone. Is there anywhere that IS for everyone? I know many people who would just go insane in North Carolina, California, Texas, etc. Just like I know many people who would go insane in Boston. There's nowhere in the world that is perfect for everyone, and Boston is no different. However, the pace and attitude of Boston is perfect for me. If you read the posts in this thread you'll notice a trend... "Boston is different than what I'm used to" (in summary)... That's not a bad thing whether you like the change or not. That's fine... in fact, it's a good thing. People may not like the pace of Boston or the fact that you have to work to get yourself initiated in social circles... for them, Boston is a terrible fit. For me, it's just fine. I like to work for my friends because it's a good way to pick the right ones.

Boston is wonderful in that people really don't care about your differences. If you're loyal and worthy (again, you have to prove this and some people don't like it), it doesn't matter if you're black (forget busing, it was in the 70's and wildly misunderstood), white, Asian, gay, etc; you can find a social circle that suits you in this town.

There's a lot in Boston that you can't really find anywhere else. The excellent transit, walkability, history, architecture and compact nature of this town are just the tip of the iceberg. The feel is something special in and of itself. I've always felt that growing up in the Boston area has better prepared me for the rest of the world. The fact that nothing is handed to you makes it easier to adjust and succeed almost anywhere which part of the reason you can find "Ma**holes" thriving not only all over the country, but the world.

Again Massachusetts and Boston aren't for everyone, but if you CAN make it here, you're set up well for success in many other places. This state has character that's hard to find and I love it. The fact that we can have a thread in which people from this state can calmly respond to criticism (much of which is clearly impulsive ranting that many people feel when moving anywhere) about their state says it all. People from Boston and Massachusetts are comfortable where they live and with who they are. Take it or leave it, that's how we are and we're not going to change. If that doesn't work for you, you're more than welcome to look elsewhere and thanks for stopping by.

[Crispo]

To me, Southern New England is like the rich Uncle who is obnoxious but you still put up with because of your expected inheritance. Once I get the money or the Uncle loses the money, I'm gone.

[hooverphonics]

Please, all this rubbish about people being "real" because they are rude and cold is mystifying. I am from Mass and I now live in New York City and I can confirm that Mass is cold and rude, and comparatively NYC is open, chatty, highly sociable. Why does speaking like a normal human being to a total stranger make you 'phony'? I mean is that really the mark of a civilized society, that suspicion if not overt aggression before benefit of the doubt? I will never return, much as I love the landscape, because of that knuckledragging clannish attitude. Mass is very very liberal but only conceptually -- face to face, less so. And the drivers in NY are speed demons and dont give a gd yes but up there (and I grew up with it) in Boston there is pointed particular flag-waving aggression. Besides that, no one knows how to dress! Or maybe they think it makes them look deep & cerebral, like they spend their free time nose deep in Proust, to wear birks, rs caps, and unisex peagreen cargos, that wicked cool beantown eunuch uniform.
Go Yanks. ;p

[personalensign79]

I don't want to be open and chatty with strangers...I guess I need to go back home

[aaronibus62]

Needless to say, people are rude here in Mass.
My wife (from West Virginia) and I took her mom to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum last week and someone whacked her mom by accident with a door without any kind of apology.
A week before that, we went to a PriceRite supermarket in Brockton where my mother-in-law had trouble opening a restroom door. A woman came by, opened the door easily as if she was gonna help her, but no, rudely enters the bathroom herself with a snidely smile. We had to take my mother-in-law over to Shaw's nearby. Thank God her bladder was able to wait!

[lrfox]

Originally Posted by hooverphonics

. Why does speaking like a normal human being to a total stranger make you 'phony'?

Who said it does?

The point that most people that enjoy living here are trying to make is that they don't mind that strangers don't approach them on the streets. It's a real sign of insecurity that so many people are offended by the fact that passersby on the street don't say, "hi." Why is it so bad that it takes more effort to break into social circles here?

People in Massachusetts live their own lives and that by itself IS a liberal attitude. I won't claim that New York doesn't have a good, live and let live attitude (it does... AND I like the drivers there... fast like in MA, but with more method to the madness), but Massachusetts does too. The "friendly" South and other parts of the country are only truly friendly/ accepting if you adhere to the common social norms (namely, religious values but others as well) of the area. In MA this isn't the case. You can be the most outgoing, open and friendly person in the world (there are plenty here) in MA and do just fine; but not everyone is going to be the same way.

The reserved attitude is part of Massachusetts culture. It doesn't make it a bad place. YOU may not care for it, but it hardly means the state sucks as a whole because it doesn't comply with what a few individuals feel are "proper social standards." I don't care for watching high school football every Friday, but I don't think Texas sucks.

[Crispo]

Originally Posted by lrfox

Who said it does?

The point that most people that enjoy living here are trying to make is that they don't mind that strangers don't approach them on the streets. It's a real sign of insecurity that so many people are offended by the fact that passersby on the street don't say, "hi." Why is it so bad that it takes more effort to break into social circles here?

People in Massachusetts live their own lives and that by itself IS a liberal attitude. I won't claim that New York doesn't have a good, live and let live attitude (it does... AND I like the drivers there... fast like in MA, but with more method to the madness), but Massachusetts does too. The "friendly" South and other parts of the country are only truly friendly/ accepting if you adhere to the common social norms (namely, religious values but others as well) of the area. In MA this isn't the case. You can be the most outgoing, open and friendly person in the world (there are plenty here) in MA and do just fine; but not everyone is going to be the same way.

The reserved attitude is part of Massachusetts culture. It doesn't make it a bad place. YOU may not care for it, but it hardly means the state sucks as a whole because it doesn't comply with what a few individuals feel are "proper social standards." I don't care for watching high school football every Friday, but I don't think Texas sucks.

I mostly agree with you here. I do believe, however, that the uncooperativeness/reserve of New Englanders is objectively an inferior trait. In urban areas there is a higher amount of this trait, by necessity. I've lived in large cities in the West and Midwest (mostly Chicago,) and there is a selfish agressiveness there too. However, there is a positive sum benefit to cooperation. Small things like holding doors and sales help/strangers offering help/answering questions may not matter greatly, but doing business with others in a cooperative manner is.

Game theory is clear that giving others the benefit of the doubt amidst a culture of trust and cooperativeness is an optimal solution. New England evolved many years ago when our culture was rougher and more selfish. As we progress economically, there are greater benefits to cooperativeness in our relations. New England lags here.

Now, I'm not saying New England is inferior overall. In areas such as intellectual sophistication it is superior. I only argue that the rudeness is currently maladaptive, and its removal or amelioration would benefit the region.