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<SNIP> Many people come here expecting to find paradise with little to no challenges and most of them move away within a few months.
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My main concern is regarding making friends. I have made some great friends here and many of them move away. I mean, it is nice to have friends all over the world but definitely a lot lacking in life to not have quality friends here. <SNIP>
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When I leave, it will not be because of the high cost of living, or island fever or whatever else people use as excuses. My reason will clearly be that I miss friends and family and the quality of friendships I have made here is not nearly the same level as back home.<SNIP>
And I have not even gotten to the topic of dating yet. Dating here sucks. Back in Minnesota, I had no issues dating or having girlfriends but here is so different. <SNIP>
You've pretty much hit a lot of the basic downsides that we really try to get across to people thinking of moving here. Although, generally, folks tell us we're being negative when we try to tell them of these possible concerns.
As you noticed, a lot of people move to Hawaii expecting Paradise and then move away within a few months. Generally, the ones who fly away first are the ones who say they are "moving to Paradise". You, as a new resident, have made friends with a few of them and are understandably upset that your new friends are now moving away. Skype is no substitute for a beach buddy or someone to have lunch with. So, it is also very understandable that folks who live in Hawaii would prefer to make friends with people who will stay here.
The only way to get friends who won't move away is to make friends with folks who grew up here, have family or a business here or some compelling reasons to live here other than they don't like where they came from or they want to live in a mythical fantasy land. However, these folks aren't going to want to make friends with you - other than a superficial friendship - until they know that you are going to stick around yourself. And, they don't know you're gonna do that, unless you've already done it or you've done something with permanence. Marry a local, buy a house, start a business, something that shows roots. Join community clubs, too. Lions, Rotary, Friends of the Library, etc. They will still be superficial, but you'll get folks to interact with who will be sticking around and in two or three years, then they will see that you're sticking around and you may start becoming better friends with some of them. But even back in Minnesota, how many friends did you have where you visited their house and had dinner with them?
As for dating, if you're still comparing things to "back in Minnesota", well, unless you find someone interested in moving to Minnesota you're not likely to find many prospective girlfriends. A lot of your woes are all from being temporary. From the sounds of your post here on the forum, it sounds as if you're pretty much planning on being temporary. And it is very much the fall out from that temporariness that is causing the temporariness in the first place.
If you want good friends and girlfriends, you'll pretty much have to decide to stay in Hawaii no matter what and do everything to be a permanent resident. And then give the friendships time to develop. Buy a house, plant a tree, join local's clubs, join civic clubs, and never ever say you're going to move back to Minnesota.
I find it funny that it is assumed I have a low education level when indeed I have a masters degree. I just found that on Maui I make more money as a server than in my field of eduction.
Sadly, folks here seem to educe that your "field of eduction" is in something that makes it difficult to find happiness on Maui.
Well OP, again a thread is taken over by the 'usual suspects' so eager to try and prove how 'different' Hawaii is. Nope, like any over-hyped tourist trappy locale basically anywhere in the world, high costs, low wages and native-borns feeling a lack of opportunity and varying levels of resentment toward the tourists and 'outsiders' who take up residence.
There are definitely friendlier places to live in the US and the world. Maui is best suited for retirees I think since it is so small and rural. For younger or dating people I would imagine Honolulu would be easier for finding the type of happiness I believe you are talking about.
I like reading some of the posts here in Hawaii and especially like seeing pictures of Hawaii. I read this thread and couldn't help but notice the OP had made other posts about what a great time he had bar hopping but then started another thread about how hard it was to find happiness.
To the question: "Why is it so Hard to Find Happiness on Maui?"
Location: From chocolate, cheese and mountains to aloha
96 posts, read 145,092 times
Reputation: 254
I fully agree with your Yoda!
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