Move back to MSP for family only to regret it? (Minneapolis: low income, best neighborhoods)

[uptown_urbanist]

Originally Posted by SForMNLee

I'm considering it. My wife and I moved to San Francisco about 2 years ago. We miss our friends and family, but there is something about California that is making it hard to think about going back.

I think for many people it's either having kids or family health issues that lead them to move back. But really, I think that's true of many of my friends from other places, too (wherever they come from originally); it's just that the lower cost of living, good job market, and easy access to good public schools makes Minneapolis especially alluring for people who fit into those categories, and an easier sell to possible spouses not from MN themselves.

[rtloucks]

So I see points from both sides. And you guys are hitting the nail on the head. Our biggest fear is that we make the sacrifice to go back only to find that our friends are a busy a everyone else is, that our family is only there for holidays, and maybe the people we move back to be around the move away. It's a Gras is Greener thing. We haven't truffles with this for years and always made "practical choices" and stayed in cities that gave us good jobs and experiences. Never went with the passionate choice, some place that gets us back to family or someplace that we really want to live. We feel like we are ready to do something for us, but don't want to waste it on a move to MN. I like MN as I mentioned, but if my smoky and friends we not back there, I would never move back in a million years. Not a knock on it, I just don't care to live in that climate unless I had other reasons too.

Really glad this forum is so active, it definitely shines light on topics for people. See my family wa always really close and that's what makes this decision hard. But my father is gone, my grandfather is gone now and we lost my oldest sister a few years ago at 48. I'm 36, and feel like I have some good years ahead of me and so does my wofe. I want to make some good memories with my boys. I just didn't want thn tmiss out on growing up around cousins. But atvthe same time they hand been around them anyway for 10 years others an visits,and try were so little when we left. They don't even seem to care. So it may be us trying to push our values on them. They would both prefer to live in a warm weather climate over MN they hate it there.

So how do you guys get over the ideas of placing such a stronghold on the values you grew up with and trying to pass them along but also realizing that things have changed and maybe it's time to progress and adapt rather than revert?

[Thedosius]

Originally Posted by rtloucks

So I see points from both sides. And you guys are hitting the nail on the head. Our biggest fear is that we make the sacrifice to go back only to find that our friends are a busy a everyone else is, that our family is only there for holidays, and maybe the people we move back to be around the move away.

This sounds like a more personal situation specific to you rather than an 'about the Twin Cities' question. The reason I mention this is because I think people tend to get places mixed up with what's happening in their personal lives ("I'll never live in Dallas again! That's where my marriage fell apart!" or "Baltimore sucks! I couldn't get a job as an x for nearly a year after I moved there!"). When you mix up the two I think you muddle the question, and getting clarity first is the most important step to making a decision that works for you and your family. Sorry if I sound too much like a therapist.

To me, you're asking two separate questions:
1. Will my friends and family really have time for us? This is a question we can't answer.
2. Relative to DC (or many other locales) will my career take a hit if I move to the Twin Cities? This depends on what field. In many fields, I don't think the Twin Cities would hamper your career. I cite the tired old "one of the highest concentrations of Fortune 500 companies in the country" which means opportunities in upper- to mid- management should be top tier. Clearly every metro area has strengths and weaknesses. Without knowing your field, we can have no idea what the environment is like.

We haven't truffles with this for years and always made "practical choices" and stayed in cities that gave us good jobs and experiences. Never went with the passionate choice, some place that gets us back to family or someplace that we really want to live. We feel like we are ready to do something for us, but don't want to waste it on a move to MN. I like MN as I mentioned, but if my smoky and friends we not back there, I would never move back in a million years. Not a knock on it, I just don't care to live in that climate unless I had other reasons too.

I think your auto-correct might be going a little haywire.

Again, there is so much that is personal about this it is hard to advise you. My personal choice is to live in Minneapolis, but I don't know that helps you much. Nonetheless, I'll give you my personal point of view on weather:

Yes, winter here is hard. Very hard. I definitely go into a sort of hibernation/torpor mode in the winter which I do not like. I do not like the cold, dark 5-block walk to the train in the dead of winter.

But you know what else I don't like: oppressive heat or oppressive humidity. You will get one or the other in most of the parts of the country with 'nice climates'. I think you're aware of the swamp-like heat and humidity of the south-eastern seaboard. Frankly, for me enduring that is nearly a wash with enduring winter. Arizona has oppressive heat. I wonder if we compared days where people shuttle between air-conditioned environment to air-conditioned environment in Arizona versus warm environment to warm environment in Minnesota how big the difference would be? I've been miserable in Florida with its 'marvelous climate' due to heat and humidity.

None of this makes me endure Minnesota winters any better. I still hate them (largely, though they are often so very pretty...). But knowing that the trade off is not really between bitter winters and beige neutrality but actually some other type of negative climate implications I can live with it a little better.

Still: all this is personal preference: you need to suss out how you and your family will live with winter.

[tjasse]

You've mentioned a lot of reasons not to move here. Your career won't be as good, you would never move here "in a million years" if your mom (?) didn't live here, your kids hate the winter, etc. I think a lot of people move here for family, either to take care of the folks or to start a new family, but you've already got a family...who doesn't want to move here, if I read that right. Not exactly sure why you are considering it. Personally, I would not move here, or anywhere else without a job that was better than my previous job. That's just me though, work is like my main thing. Most of the Minnesotans I know have the opposite attitude.

[rtloucks]

Well I think my original question is more of a personal stance rather than a direct reflection of MSP

I'm not debating what MSP has to offer compared to other locations. I guess going back to my main point/questions, I was gearing it more toward other's personal experiences they'd like to share and not so much advice giving. I know that no one can tell someone what they should do. sometime people that have actually been through it have some insight though that could shed some light on things. It's easy to get caught up with the idea of running back to our friends and family, but they may not even notice that we are back! Just wondering if other people have found it truly worth it in the end to go back home or of they still end up leaving again after that or wishing they wouldn't have done it.

[Good Red Road]

Originally Posted by rtloucks

We feel like we are ready to do something for us, but don't want to waste it on a move to MN.

We went through this struggle as well, and I know It's complicated and personal. We felt guilty when we left, but felt we would be making a sacrifice to return.

After eighteen years in central Florida we were ready for a change. Our families begged us to come back home to MSP, but we both knew that wouldn't work.

We settled on the Denver area which has worked out well for us. Flights to MSP are cheap and short, or you can make the drive in a day, although it's a grind. We get home far more often now then we did while living in FLA. Good Luck.

[Hate Minnesota]

Originally Posted by tjasse

I looked this up actually.

Minnesota gets about 100K people moving in a year, and 110K people moving out. Out of those moving in , 28% are returning. The main age group returning is those who just finished college. After that it drops off. Less than 5% of people moving into the state each year are over age 35, whether they previously lived in MN or not.

http://mn.gov/admin/images/mn-on-the...dc-jan2015.pdf

You beat me to it.

[rtloucks]

Originally Posted by Good Red Road

We went through this struggle as well, and I know It's complicated and personal. We felt guilty when we left, but felt we would be making a sacrifice to return.

After eighteen years in central Florida we were ready for a change. Our families begged us to come back home to MSP, but we both knew that wouldn't work.

We settled on the Denver area which has worked out well for us. Flights to MSP are cheap and short, or you can make the drive in a day, although it's a grind. We get home far more often now then we did while living in FLA. Good Luck.

This is so ironic and funny. We have been debating on Demevr Vs MSP. We like denver a whole lot more and also considered the same things in regards to travel time back to MSP. IM CURIOUS HOW YOU LANDED IN Denver? Any opinion on the afterthought? Just curious if you see a bright future ahead for yourselves and how you're liking the Denver area. We can spend all day convincing ourselves that a return to MSP IS BEST, but then we get triggered by one little detail that makes us feel stupid for considering it and feel we should go be adventurous and live where we want rather than where we should

[Glenfield]

Try asking this in the relationships forum as your questions are not really about the Twin Cities. You might get better responses if you make it location neutral.

[Good Red Road]

Originally Posted by rtloucks

IM CURIOUS HOW YOU LANDED IN Denver?

For us and for many who move here, it was never about Denver. It was always about living in the Rocky Mountain West and enjoying what this region has to offer. A point that's often overlooked on city vs. city comparisons.

On a four day weekend you could choose between glaciers and geysers or rivers and red deserts. We wanted our kids to experience and appreciate the outdoors and even more importantly the national parks (which are constantly being threatened, but that's for another thread).

Both Denver and MSP are nice cities, however Denver is getting expensive and crowded while MSP is more affordable.