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There is no sense in everyone stating how many parents they know regretted sending or not. I have my experiences of teaching hundreds of children, and you have yours, whatever they are. Here is the real point:
The most important thing is to do what is right for your child....not for you, the parent. I say that because I have seen way too many crazed parents arguing at K registration to let their child start school, even though they miss the cut off and the truth always came out....daycare costs was top of the list.
Regardless of whether you keep them home or send them, you have to know what your district's curriculum is like and know your child - and I dont mean in the academic sense..I mean their emotional and social skills...make sure they are ready in those areas first. Academics will come when a child is ready to learn. If they aren't mature enough, they are being set up for a struggle.
my issue isnt a matter of day care as I am a SAHM and don't pay for child care and I'm probably sending my kids to private schools so I'm paying more anyway.
To me, the cutoff date is such an arbitrary date. some districts its Sept 1, others oct1. some sept 15th others mid october. Some are Novemer 14th and other states choose Dec 31.
It IS a BS rule that should be level across the board. either choose Day one of school or the end of the calender year. Allow children born within X days the option of testing in and thats that.
We DO have the option of testing in in our school district, so for me its not a huge issues other than I am not happy with our school district in general.
I think I read in NJ monthly that 26% of NJ parents are redshirting their kids now. That is so helicopter parent to me and truly scares me for what the future is going to hold for them
I am fully aware that that its NOT just academics, but at the end of the day, I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that one of my girls will def. be ready and if she were a singleton, I would be pushing the issue no matter what.
With twins, to me, its more important at this stage that they start school together.
This could all be a moot point for me, but its still a pet peeve
I agree it is arbitrary, but unfortunately, it's just one of many arbitraries in life. I also agree it would be wonderful to have the same date across the country, but with "local control" that's impossible. Different people read the research (or don't) and come to different conclusions. Lest you think I'm one of those lucky ones who didn't have to make a decision . . . not so. My youngest has a July birthday and it's common here to hold the summer birthday kids back. (Official cut-off, Sept. 30) Fortunately she had a kdg teacher who wasn't opposed to summer birthday kids starting at 5 (some are). She was in the youngest 1/4 of her grade and often the second or third youngest in her classroom. She struggled with learning to read, which I think would have happened even if we had held her back. Fortunately she did well in high school and graduated in the top 10% of her class. Now in college and doing well.
I agree it is arbitrary, but unfortunately, it's just one of many arbitraries in life. I also agree it would be wonderful to have the same date across the country, but with "local control" that's impossible. Different people read the research (or don't) and come to different conclusions. Lest you think I'm one of those lucky ones who didn't have to make a decision . . . not so. My youngest has a July birthday and it's common here to hold the summer birthday kids back. (Official cut-off, Sept. 30) Fortunately she had a kdg teacher who wasn't opposed to summer birthday kids starting at 5 (some are). She was in the youngest 1/4 of her grade and often the second or third youngest in her classroom. She struggled with learning to read, which I think would have happened even if we had held her back. Fortunately she did well in high school and graduated in the top 10% of her class. Now in college and doing well.
I've found that some Children that did wonderful when they were younger didn't do well when they got older, My daughter did Better in Jr HIGH, HS, and is doing very good in College. She is receiving a Lottery Schlorship here as she was here for her entire Senior year of HS and had over a 3.0 for 4 years on a 4.0 scale. She had a perfect 4.0 in her Senior year.
Her friend on the other hand missed the cutoff so was older, did great when she was Young, the teachers said how mature she was. In HS her mother had to put her in Private school because she was flunking out, even with lower level classes. She is now in a community college taking non credit Math and Reading Classes.IMO, being older did not make her more mature.
The same Kindergarden teacher wanted to keep my daughter there another year and said her friend was Mature. Now, you see how wrong she was. I didn't allow it and I'm so glad I didn't.
As I stated before, Marlboro has a Dec 31st cutoff. I'm sure there are other districts that have later than Oct 1.
In India ( where we may go back after a while), kids have 2 years of kindergarden starting at 3. The first grade starts at 5. So, Indian kids finish school a year earlier than their US counterparts.
I have not noticed that they tend to suffer because of earlier school admission.
My son was born on Nov 12 and he is such a firecracker that I am looking to put him in school for the 2009 year.
Does anybody know about these rules for Mercer county?
I totally agree with that every child is very individual and it is up to the parent to know what might be best for your specific individual child. When I moved back to NJ from Florida in March of 2004 I had a choice to enter my son (born in August of 1997) in either Kindergarten or 1st grade. I consulted with family, friends, and finally professionals and chose to hold him back for several reasons (in which I really in my gut already knew). First my son is a boy and fell into the not as mature as most girls category, physically my son was one of the shortest in class(his father is 5'7) and logically speaking I assume he will not be on the tall side as an adult, and of course the academic side...although I consider my son to be bright...I knew already he was not going to be one of the few gifted Einsteins . That being said, now that my son is 10 and very involved in sports..I am extremely glad that I did keep him back mainly because physical size is very important to boys and men growing up...especially in competitive sports. I say only you know your child best...because she is a girl and possibly more mature and perhaps she is showing signs of already being academically advanced then maybe putting her in early is an option. Worst case is you don't and she happens to become the most advanced person in her class...not so bad. I always go by the motto...when in doubt don't...but go by your inner motherly instincts.
My sons birthday is a week past the Oct. 1 cutoff. The school board would not budge and wanted hm to go to public Pre-K.
My son had been talking about going to Kindergarden for over a year. He had already done 2 years of a classroom style daycare/preschool and 1 year of Private Pre-K.
I thought about the size/sports issue, and to be honest he is a little immature.
What sealed it for me was academics. He was already reading at a first grade level, writing, doing double digit math, and rudimentary multiplication.
I thought it would be a disservice to make him sit and listen to kids learn letters, colors, shapes, and how to count for a year.
So we found a Private Kindergarden, with small class sizes and a teacher willing to challenge him. He is doing great. Of course that costs $$$ and now we have to figure out what's next...
My town has the same rule for first grade as well..but you can test in.
Oh yes...to the OP
Somerset/Franklin Township has an Oct 31 cutoff.
If you find an area that you like, perhaps there is a way to get her screened by the district to see if she would be accepted early, prior to buying the house. This will also have an additional sideeffect of helping you be sure she is ready for the program, which I am sure would be of concern to you, and districts will often accept a child even if they don't make the cutoff if they demonstrate readiness.
And re: the redshirting debate, while I don't have children I will say the following:
1) I have always found it odd when a child starts K at 4, when I was in elementary school some 28 years ago, there was only 1 child started at 4 & that was b/c her mother couldn't wait to get her out of her hair for the day. She was in remedial classes too. IMO there is a big difference btwn a child turning 4 to 5 and a 6 year old from an emotional maturity standpoint although I am sure there are exceptions.
2) I have several NJ teachers in my circle of family & friends; some teach Kindergarten. The curriculum is at least a grade ahead of what it was when I went to school (& I was one of the few back then attending an all day kindergarten). I was considered advanced, in enrichment tract & accelerated programs & I don't know how I would have passed the Kindergarten curriculum of today (& I was born in January so was a solid 5 1/2 when I started).
3) Yes redshirting did exist back then - my mother redshirted my sibling who had a mid October birthday.
4) Of course it depends on the individual child & I am sure with the prevalence of more children in daycare/pre-school they may be learning at a faster rate, but just from a size & social maturity standpoint I can't fault or term it overprotective if a parent chooses not to send their 4 year old into elementary school.
I think that Hawthorne might have a 10/31 cutoff. Not positive, but it might be worth checking.
My 2 cents? My b-day is Oct. 5th. I tested well above age and grade level and so was moved ahead during my Kindergarten year. I was also the tallest in my class at the time (wouldn't know that now, ha ha!) so it seemed like a good fit. It was not fun socially. Academically I did really well, but the social shock of being in 1st grade wasn't fun. Luckily, my parents let me go back to kindergarten. I always felt like it was better being a little older.
My 8 year old's birthday is also October 5th! Well, he is shorter for his age but also is well above age/grade level. I never gave it a second thought. I didn't try to put him ahead. I just think it's not worth it to push our kids. Even if they can recite the Gettysburg address at age 2, (just an example, mine didn't!) they still like playing with sand and play-doh and fingerpainting. Why let them miss those early childhood experiences? We put him in gifted Saturday classes for a while, and emphasized the social aspect of learning, too. Does he get bored sometimes in class? Yes, but the teachers have been very open to changing things slightly or letting him bring in books to read if he gets done early.
Good luck to you whatever you choose.
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from another Indian parent's perspective...
