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Let clarify: I don't want kids, regardless of whether I date someone who already has one, or whether I date someone who wants to have them. Someday in the future, if I get my act together, and if I find the right person, there is a slim possibility I might desire them. I'm not even sure I want a lifelong partner.
If anyone assumes I currently posess the capability to be a positive influence towards youth, I will offer to babysit their children. The youth and I will have interesting discussions about whether or not marajuana should be legalized, and how modern culture needs to be torn down and replaced with a more efficent system. They will probably end up playing videogames till 5:00 am in the morning, and eating a solid pound of sugar for breakfast...more or less depending upon their age.
It's far worse to pretend (and even pretend to yourself) that you want to be with a single mother's kids and get involved and the kids and mother find out too late that you really did not want to be around kids.
And single mothers should stop trying to plead with men to disregard the fact that they have kids and so date them anyhow. Why not put your kids' interests first? In fact the single mothers are who need to be the choosiest. They really need to look at how much a man wants to be around kids and if he doesn't - he might be a pal but she should not try for more than that.
I would consider it a date request. Unless you and her were honest with each other about it not being a date. You would have to bring that up with her.
I would consider it a date request. Unless you and her were honest with each other about it not being a date. You would have to bring that up with her.
I have a concern about her being wierded out by my bringing up the possibility of it being a date...even to say that it's not. I'm very, very good at judging people, and I think this would be the much greater risk factor. This may sound like a small factor, but there are countless factors not so different from this, and if we pay attention to all of them, we'll never gain anything positive.
Seems like it may be a "date" from your perspective..You state you don't want a kid...and are not interested in long term relationships. So what are you interested in? The word "date" these days seems to equal sex to some..Enjoying the company of the opposite sex is an art..flirtation is a wonderful thing and should be practiced freely in order to get the most out of life.
When I read something - I always look for the sub-text. It may be that when you mention "single mom" - you assume that they are a type..that might lead to easy re-creational sex...Not sure where you are going with this...but...I do suggest you be a gentlemen and show these ladies a wonderful time...It appears that you assume that every "single mom" is some sort of desperate person...who you assume would assume that it was a "date"....If I were a female...I would avoid you...I don't see any benefit in knowing you from how you described your needs. The only benefit for the single mom here is to get out and socialize...You are not that important.
Seems like it may be a "date" from your perspective..You state you don't want a kid...and are not interested in long term relationships. So what are you interested in? The word "date" these days seems to equal sex to some..Enjoying the company of the opposite sex is an art..flirtation is a wonderful thing and should be practiced freely in order to get the most out of life.
When I read something - I always look for the sub-text. It may be that when you mention "single mom" - you assume that they are a type..that might lead to easy re-creational sex...Not sure where you are going with this...but...I do suggest you be a gentlemen and show these ladies a wonderful time...It appears that you assume that every "single mom" is some sort of desperate person...who you assume would assume that it was a "date"....If I were a female...I would avoid you...I don't see any benefit in knowing you from how you described your needs. The only benefit for the single mom here is to get out and socialize...You are not that important.
Wrong. (regarding the first bolded text)
(regarding the second bolded text) I agree...but there is the bonfire though. She's likely to find that more amusing than I am. I'm hoping it will be fun for her. Therefore it will be enjoyable for me.
Why does everyone seem to put so little emphasis in the small things, the important things due to them adding up over time, such as chatting with a stranger, or going on a five minute walk...or a bonfire (Again, maybe our brains work differently.) I'm not implying that your life is unpleasant, but many people seem to have a strange goal of getting married...and complaining about their spouse...then having children, and complaining about their children, and lets not forget the most successful endeavor...mindless rampant sex with strangers, followed by old, sad, slightly disturbing lonesomness. No thanks. I plan on being unintimidating towards everyone, fed by short term, simple relationships, potential long term relationships if they happen to develop, and sex if mutually and honestly agreed upon. Just so long as I get my bonfires...and maybe a stripper or two once in awhile.
Your input is appreciated though. I disagree with your posts at times, but they tend to be well thought out and noteworthy.
CD strikes again - someone with a terribly pressing problem (of their own making) posts on here, asks for advice, then proceeds to pick it all apart, contradict, argue, ignore.
Most who reply are telling you you're behaving like a fool, but in nicer words...but like a typical fool, everyone else has misunderstood, only you know the TRUE circumstances....in which case, WHY BOTHER ASKING????
Everyone's wrong and you're right, so go ahead. Who cares. If things go terribly, terribly wrong you may well end up ON the bonfire.
I would consider it a date request. Unless you and her were honest with each other about it not being a date. You would have to bring that up with her.
I would think that the fact that she's bringing her own car means it's not a date and she doesn't take it as a date. What kind of date would it be if she drove herself to it?
So, ladies, if you were a good looking single mom in your early twenties, and a single male about four years your senior asked if you'd like to go to a bonfire where no one you knew other than the asker would be, would you consider this a date request?
This from your original post Clintone...you make it sound like you're hoping it will be (unless you told her your other girlfriends(sorry, aquaintances) were going as well,how could she possibly not think that?)....you're all over the board....she's pretty and fun to talk to/ I don't want kids.......I really can't figure out what it is, if anything, that you want from this girl....hopefully not just a one night stand.
why are you worrying about having kids with this person if all you're doing is asking her to go to a bonfire? You should know what you mean. It's not for a forum of strangers to get into your head to figure out how you feel or what you mean when you say things. If it's a one night stand, make sure that's all she wants too.
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