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Old 11-10-2012, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
23,244 posts, read 28,053,071 times
Reputation: 28683

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Quote:
Originally Posted by snooper View Post
Some more details from the original poster:

They should not be broke because they make $3100 from social security and a $1400 pension from the fathers job. Their mortgage is only about $1000 a month and they live in a real low cost small town and own their cars without payments. They just spend lots of money on silly things and go on lots of vacations and eat out a lot. And they are maxed out on all their credit cards and have a very low credit rating. They are way behind on their bills because of poor decisions and overspending.

Good advice so far.
First thing they need to do is sell all but one car. Use the money to pay the mortgage. Then they have only one vehicle to maintain and insure.

How old are they and how much is owed on the house? How much equity do they have?

If you are going to help pay for the house, then you should own it. You borrow enough to pay off the loan, they sell it to you for $1, and they live in it and pay you rent. As a condition of getting to continue to live in the house, they get their spending under control. They cut up their credit cards. They catch up on their other bills. Otherwise, they move out and you sell the house.

If they are not underwater on the loan, this would preserve whatever equity they have. Another option would be to see if your wife's siblings would like to participate. The biggest value in doing this is that no one in the family has to make the decision to have these people live with them.

I agree with those who say not to give them cash under any circumstances. They would just use it for another vacation.

Edited to add: We are all assuming they are not renting and do have a mortgage. Are they facing eviction from a rental or foreclosure on a mortgage?
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Old 11-10-2012, 12:09 PM
 
1,266 posts, read 1,517,399 times
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Do they live near a casino? I am serious. This could be fallout due to a gambling problem.
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Old 11-10-2012, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,823 posts, read 6,344,711 times
Reputation: 4885
maybe they're living in a place they can no longer afford and giving them the money is only putting off the inevitable? I wouldn't do it, why can't the rest of the family help? Don't they have an extra couple of dollars? If everyone chipped in, maybe then I would help a little too..2000 is alot of money
If you do give them the money, you may as well see it as a gift because if they're having such financial problems, paying you back is not on the to do list anywhere in the near future.
If they have money for dinners and vacations, they have money for mortgage. Tough love!
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Old 11-10-2012, 02:49 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
31,731 posts, read 36,396,875 times
Reputation: 38054
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
I practice what I preach. After my youngest son mismanaged his life and had been kicked out of my home and everyone else's, he called me coming from Virginia to Texas on a Greyhound bus, flat broke, and wanted me to pick him up at the station. I picked him up alright - and took him straight to the Salvation Army.
KA... that had to be tough. Hats off to a good mom.

OP... I've learned in Business and life that sometimes the best answer is no answer at all. Just ignore their request and see if they don't come back. They need to ask in person.

Last edited by Rakin; 11-10-2012 at 02:58 PM..
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Old 11-10-2012, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Coos Bay, Oregon
7,142 posts, read 8,838,278 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snooper View Post
If you read my other posting about my wife's cold distant family that treats each other and my wife poorly you may understand how family dynamics can impact a marriage.

The latest news is her parents left a voice mail that said that unless they can come up with two months of mortgage payments ($2000) they will be evicited from their home and be homeless. No one else in the family has any money and we have to help them.

Should we?
Depends, do you want to see your in-laws living on the street?
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Old 11-10-2012, 05:34 PM
 
Location: Coos Bay, Oregon
7,142 posts, read 8,838,278 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
Do not give them the cash. Offer to send it to the mortgage company and you want to see their "past due" notices. Verify.

If you do pay .... Be sure to let them know you'll do it 1 time only. If you don't lay down any rules they will be back in 6 months wanting you to do it again.
They could also just write out a check to the mortgage company, and give to them to send. If they come back again in six months asking for more, then they should just say: sorry we're broke, we already gave you everything we have.

Honestly though, I think asking to see past due notices, shows a lack of trust.
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Old 11-10-2012, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,270 posts, read 35,818,552 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaaBoom View Post
They could also just write out a check to the mortgage company, and give to them to send. If they come back again in six months asking for more, then they should just say: sorry we're broke, we already gave you everything we have.

Honestly though, I think asking to see past due notices, shows a lack of trust.
Maybe you missed the part about how rude the inlaws have been to the OP.

There is no way I would just write a check without asking for mortgage company contact information. Good grief, we're talking about $2000 here - not $20, or even $200. If my inlaws or any other relative had the gall to leave me a voice mail message saying they needed to borrow $2000 or they'd be evicted, I'd have the presence of mind and fortitude to demand that the information be verified. They can't be trusted to put their own mortgage obligation above vacations and eating out regularly - I'd say they're probably pretty untrustworthy in general.
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Old 11-10-2012, 06:13 PM
 
738 posts, read 964,541 times
Reputation: 996
I would go over there early one morning and tell them they are having a garage sale. Start taking everything that is not a necessity outside. I think you will hear the real story in a few minutes. If they start to help you carry things out I think they are telling you the truth.
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Old 11-10-2012, 08:33 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,573,170 times
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This one is up to your wife. Trust me on this. Her call.
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Old 11-10-2012, 08:51 PM
 
5,721 posts, read 5,446,456 times
Reputation: 3604
Quote:
Originally Posted by snooper View Post
If you read my other posting about my wife's cold distant family that treats each other and my wife poorly you may understand how family dynamics can impact a marriage.

The latest news is her parents left a voice mail that said that unless they can come up with two months of mortgage payments ($2000) they will be evicited from their home and be homeless. No one else in the family has any money and we have to help them.

Should we?
Maybe. Try to get them to exhaust all options with eviction prevention agencies and charities before you help them.
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