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I do have a few female friends who stood up the test of time. Most don't. I can say I honestly its purely platonic. In my experience most don't last usually stems from drama.
I know this may come off as sexist but its seem to stem from the female hormones gone wild. Lets face it, most men to men frienship last. Many female to female friendship seem to end up some silly drama. For example, many many yrs ago a female friend said she wants to go into day trading out of the blue (she was in hoteling industry). I replied that was sort of extreme. She flipped out saying I wasn't supportive & I never heard from her again.
I do have a few female friends who stood up the test of time. Most don't. I can say I honestly its purely platonic. In my experience most don't last usually stems from drama.
I know this may come off as sexist but its seem to stem from the female hormones gone wild. Lets face it, most men to men frienship last. Many female to female friendship seem to end up some silly drama. For example, many many yrs ago a female friend said she wants to go into day trading out of the blue (she was in hoteling industry). I replied that was sort of extreme. She flipped out saying I wasn't supportive & I never heard from her again.
I think I use to struggle with this from both genders to be honest. I use to have best female friends but it would reach a point where they'd uncontrollably become possessive, needy, and/or envious of me and I didn't like that. I use to try and force the friendship and try to keep peace but it was...too much. They needed more of a support system than just me so I let them go so they could find that. They usually come back and try to be friends months or years later which is cool, but by then I'm already so changed that it's not naturally possible. I also don't like group think and I struggled with that when it comes to a lot of people. They always want to do things together and want their friends to have a say in their lives, etc. and for me things just don't work that way. I'm the decider of my life and if I really want advice that I really value, I'd go to close members of my family, not my friends.
Now a days, I only get as close to people as I can tolerate them so I'm close to people in varying degrees.
i swear sometimes female have a switch which is why i made that hormone comment. One one end, female can be extremely giving & nurturing....then comes the switch...they flip out on me and go full nuts on me. Recently a female friend actually came to me & apologized when she flipped out on me....i was a little touch she was the bigger person to admit the incident.
Watch "when Harry met Sally." Good discussion in that movie and reality played out. Face it, guys want sex, and a woman friend is always a potential sex partner. Sorry to break this to you, but most guys prefer guy friends for real friends. They don't have to worry about your emotions, your feelings etc. They don't have to watch everything they say with the guys. They can actually discuss and do the things guys like to do, etc. Sorry, but for a guy, most women make lousy friends. Girls always expect you to do nice theings to help them but not vice versa so much. This is a generalization but it is generally true.
Hetero males and females just friends ??/ Not likely
I think the topic was pretty well discussed during the car ride home in "When Harry met Sally"
That wasn't the message of the movie, they were friends. It was if you can have sex and still be just friends.
Women can be friends with men if they never put out the wrong vibes. The problem is that women will send out the wrong cues, they will act weak and helpless and make their male friends want to protect them, or they deny they actually flirt with their male friends and confuse them. Or they want to be feminine and nurturing and that sends the wrong message in many cases. You cannot mother your male buddies. You can sister them.
If a woman really wants to have male friends, she has to be available to help them move furniture or help them fix their car. She has to really be like a buddy. Once she goes to a more feminine role with them, baking them cookies and needing them as men, she's destroyed the buddy relationship. That's why it's easier in the workplace when the roles are identical and it's a strictly workplace friendship.
And certainly women can be friends with their own brothers and cousins. Women can be friends with male in-laws. They can be friends but they have to do it right.
That wasn't the message of the movie, they were friends. It was if you can have sex and still be just friends.
Women can be friends with men if they never put out the wrong vibes. The problem is that women will send out the wrong cues, they will act weak and helpless and make their male friends want to protect them, or they deny they actually flirt with their male friends and confuse them. Or they want to be feminine and nurturing and that sends the wrong message in many cases. You cannot mother your male buddies. You can sister them.
If a woman really wants to have male friends, she has to be available to help them move furniture or help them fix their car. She has to really be like a buddy. Once she goes to a more feminine role with them, baking them cookies and needing them as men, she's destroyed the buddy relationship. That's why it's easier in the workplace when the roles are identical and it's a strictly workplace friendship.
And certainly women can be friends with their own brothers and cousins. Women can be friends with male in-laws. They can be friends but they have to do it right.
Well they can't be friends if they both really want to have sex with each other.
But yes, women and men can be friends. Or can't women be friends with their own male family members and in-laws or co-workers? That movie doesn't prove or disprove anything, it was just a movie.
I'm not stating if it's true or not in real life, just clearing up an erroneous statement made about the movie.
Actually I thought so -- and for those who think movies and television shows prove something, Seinfeld showed that former lovers can become just friends.
Not all women can be pals of men, not all men can be pals of women, and there is the other extreme -- those who find it quite easy to have pals of the opposite sex but not lovers.
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