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Age would say a lot to me.
Young people don't get it...but it doesn't mean they don't care or love you.
I am the nicest person but when I was in my late 20s all involved with
my life...I really did not get how seriously ill my best uncle was an hr.and a half from me
near Boston.
I know he forgives me now...he was pretty immature himself!!!
PS if you are a constant giver....I would say, "What time is Thanksgiving?
Ya know after almost dying in Aug and no one visited or helped me.
No, there won't be any Thanksg here.
I'll be with some friends...hey gotta run, ba bye."
Last edited by Miss Hepburn; 08-25-2013 at 11:01 AM..
I'm confused. Are you their parent? How were they raised? Were they raised with respect? This doesn't sound like an isolated incident. How did you treat them when you were well?
Exactly. Who the hell raised these children anyway? If so many of them are selfish, troubled, uneducated, promiscuous, broke losers, what is the common denominator?
There's always two sides to every story. I see this quite often at work. Some families spend the night with their loved ones. others never have a visitor. Makes you wonder what kind of person they were?
One started a advertising business with my wife he was never Happy with her work even though he knew nothing about it. Was never Happy with where we lived, tried to get us to move by him but like we told him we didn't like the area. He has for the most part tried to run our life.
The other one was out of my life for 30 years, not my doing. He was looking to inherit a bunch from his inlaws but they cut him out of their Will. Found out he is looking for me to leave him a bunch when I pass, found this out from Grandson.
That is so hurtful. I can relate a little, with all I have gone through health-wise over the past year and a half, my father has checked in on me exactly twice, through text messages. Don't overdo it there, dad.
Brushrunner I do not know what is wrong with people. Would it have killed your sons to stop in even for five or ten minutes on their way to or from their destination? No. Why didn't they? I have no idea. Could be several things, but I'd be willing to wager they just can't emotionally handle you feeling sick, so they are avoiding it. Not unusual with adult children, especially sons. I work in a nursing home and see it all the time. Kids don't visit, and mom/dad is heartbroken. When the time comes that mom/dad is actually dying, you can't tear the kids away from the deathbed. But at that point, who cares? Where were the kids when mom/dad was alive and well enough to enjoy spending time with them?
Would it be possible/helpful for your wife to call one or both of your sons, and gently encourage them to come visit?
I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's hard enough to recover from illness and surgery without having to cope with family issues too.
One started a advertising business with my wife he was never Happy with her work even though he knew nothing about it. Was never Happy with where we lived, tried to get us to move by him but like we told him we didn't like the area. He has for the most part tried to run our life.
The other one was out of my life for 30 years, not my doing. He was looking to inherit a bunch from his inlaws but they cut him out of their Will. Found out he is looking for me to leave him a bunch when I pass, found this out from Grandson.
brushrunner
Surely quite a few of your 19 grandbabies came to visit?
Worry less about the why...When you feel up to it....Start making an effort to reconnect with them. Parents sometimes expect more from their children, then they have given. We raise our children....It is our example that they usually follow, be it traditions, or communications...including expressions of love.
One thing you might have done when your daughter-n-law asked how you were doing, was just tell her....and mention that you'd love to see them....Not express that you were disappointed....Express how happy you would be to have them come by....They may be avoiding a confrontation...if you are a confrontational type person.
Give that some thought. As you said....you had a near death experience...make that count for something....Make your family a priority so that next time someone needs any of you, you'll all be running to help. Hope you feel better soon...
One started a advertising business with my wife he was never Happy with her work even though he knew nothing about it. Was never Happy with where we lived, tried to get us to move by him but like we told him we didn't like the area. He has for the most part tried to run our life.
The other one was out of my life for 30 years, not my doing. He was looking to inherit a bunch from his inlaws but they cut him out of their Will. Found out he is looking for me to leave him a bunch when I pass, found this out from Grandson.
brushrunner
These kids sound like Major A-holes. They were driving near-by the hospital you were in, but couldn't stop, or visit? It'd be different if they lived 1000 miles away. Even if one hates a parent--there are times to pay your respects.
Some "blood relatives" can be the biggest, greediest sc**bags you'll ever encounter. You may not find that out until there's some kind of crisis, or $$ involved (I had to find that out the hard way). You sound like a good guy, but for all anyone here knows it's at least possible you could be like the Joan Crawford character in "Mommie Dearest".
Now I seriously doubt that. But even if that were the case--those kids should've visited, called you, sent flowers, made attempts to show some concern.
In another thread you posted about your operation and said it was a routine, in and out kind of thing. Outpatient surgery, I believe?
You said things went wrong and you ended up in a "life or death" situation during the surgery. You don't say here if or when your children were even notified that your routine operation progressed to something more serious. Is it possible they didnt even know until after the fact?
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