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I have 1 friend, my boyfriend, outside of my family that I can tell pretty much anything to. We talk about growth, individual, career, and couple goals, spiritual realizations, as well as the occasional chit chat.
I also have chit chat friends and it's okay. But I've never been able to sustain it without some kind of substance
What constitutes as boring chit-chat anyway? I guess when we speak to our friends, we always have to talk about our fears and our deepest feelings? That or politics, religion and philosophy. Hey, sometimes the weather can be a very compelling subject!
It seems that I hear a lot more chit chat than anything from friends and family. I have a hard time with inane topics as well and do my best to steer the conversation to something more interesting.
I find a certain amount of chit chat is Ok and expected. But more intelligent people usually like to challenge their minds when they talk to people and are more likely to talk about subjects during conversation than short quips of nothing.
To me, it is almost the differences between acquaintances and true friends.
Acquaintances can converse on the most inane chit chat for hours on end. New truck, snowmobiles, TV shows, fantasy football. This reflects the depth of the relationship, how well they truly know the other person, and how deeply they're connected with them.
True friends can have chit chat (sure), but can communicate on a deeper level, as they have connected on a level that is deeper than acquaintances. However, sometimes slipping more meaningful subjects into chit chat is a great way to discover people who could be more than acquaintances.
Unfortunately, part of this is also a reflection of today's society, where public image, celebrity worship, and materialism are all pervasive. To someone who has not bought into these philosophies (i.e. let's talk about the handmade Italian tile we're putting on the front of our 3,000 sq ft mansion), almost anything can feel like chit chat. They just cannot connect with this.
I spend lots of time with family, friends and neighbors in conversation. It passes the time, but is mostly unrewarding. 99% of it is small talk, chit chat, mindless chatter about the most inane topics. I try to move the conversation to something more interesting but are not successful.
To me, look at the topics on the various boards on City Data Forums. Now those are interesting topics of conversation! They allow you to think and learn and get into people's head.
I know intelligent topical conversation can't happen all the time, there is a time and place for chit chat and small talk, but how about 50/50?
Do you and your friends and family talk in chit chat or interesting topical conversation most of the time?
I get you. I've started threads similar to this in the past.
I call it "weather talk"........ superficial stuff. I think a lot of people are afraid to really get down to it and talk about things that they are passionate about, either that or they really are that dull.
You're right. It's almost like people are afraid to be genuine today (if they know how). They're afraid to let down their guard (for fear of consequences). People seem so self-protective these days.
Also, maybe some people don't read like they used to. They also don't bother thinking or reading between the lines of what's reported in the media. Some don't do research. Some don't question research if they do it. Therefore, so much for stimulating conversations.
Some people lack patience for conversation. I don't know what they want, what turns them on (other than sex, substance abuse, superficial things).
I'm speaking in general, from my observations.
I believe people have been dumbed-down by the educational system to be molded into more compliant citizens. They are being molded to not question the government. Keeping them stimulated by reality TV and sports lessens the chance of people questioning authority.
We chitchat bc it is a way of becoming and staying intimate...sharing the small details of the day, the adventures, the successes, the small annoyances, etc.
From many of those conversations spring intellectual, political, philosophical debates...and many are just the warm, cozy fluff of inane details.
*shrug*
Not every talk has to be deep and mind-bending.
Yeah a lot of talk serves more to bond with each other, or to accomplish some specific task, than to stimulate one's intellect. Some seem downright incapable of having any conversation with any intellectual depth.
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